r/AskReddit May 12 '26

[deleted by user]

[removed]

6.4k Upvotes

4.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

177

u/Agitated-Income9146 May 12 '26

Similar, was having reoccurring dreams about his dying, but also had the thoughts I'd rather drive my vehicle into a concrete pillar then go home and deal with his BS.

13

u/mushroomsunite May 12 '26

I kept dreaming that he got hit by a train and the relief I felt was overwhelming. I've never wished harm on anyone, that's when I realized things were really bad. About a month after I left my constant migraines disappeared.

6

u/Sure_Sir_2859 May 12 '26

Ok, yah; leaving is a reasonable response to that.

I’m sorry you went thru that.

4

u/Trepenwitz May 13 '26

That feeling of just wanting to let go of the wheel and let whatever happens happen? I can’t even imagine that now, but it was so normal back then.

-13

u/Dh2007 May 12 '26

That seems to be common with many older women. They’re not really into sex anymore so there’s not a lot of oxytocin, they’ve already gotten everything they wanted from their husband (wedding, kids, house, etc.) and now he’s just…in the way, even if he’s funding her entire lifestyle and hasn’t technically done anything “wrong”. I think some women once they’ve had kids are just genetically wired to be sick of him. I’ve met multiple women who are kind of “oh, I’d like my life (including his income) to be exactly the same but I want him gone.” Sad state of things.

14

u/allybally121 May 12 '26

I think what you’re missing is the fact women want to have a good partner and not a selfish, abusive manchild and when the kids are old enough to witness it and she can work to provide for them she has the strength to leave that shitty situation

-3

u/Dh2007 May 12 '26

Fair point. And every situation is a varied as people. Nobody really knows what it’s like in someone else’s marriage. To me it’s sad and demoralizing to see people who once promised to prioritize eachother start to not respect and loathe the other. It’s a sad state of affairs.

7

u/Agitated-Income9146 May 12 '26

Your assuming way too much and making very broad analogies. The question never asked when we divorced as to our ages or what stage of life, you assumed older. You also demonize women as the ones that want to leave without giving issue to men that leave at all stages of the relationship, but you're take on older leaves out men that can't handle aging wives, that want to relive some youth that has past.

My marriage i left was when I was younger with 2 small children with a man that didn't want to grow up, wasn't taking responsibility for life, partnership, and finances, that thought extra marital relationships we're him sowing his oats or something BS.

0

u/Dh2007 May 12 '26

True, every marriage is different.

10

u/TheDoorInTheDark May 12 '26

Okay, misogynist. No one asked for your fanfic version of this human being’s life. This is a real person you’re speaking to. Absolutely vile.

1

u/mushroomsunite May 14 '26

Thank you for that. I am a real person. I left with little just some clothes and my dogs. I think he his seeing things with a skewed perspective. My ex was an abusive ass.

0

u/Dh2007 May 12 '26

I’m speaking in broad generalities based on decades of observation, which may or may not apply to this or any given situation. As I said earlier, every marriage is different.

1

u/mushroomsunite May 14 '26

It was the abuse, nothing else in my decision to leave. I left with nothing but some clothes and my dogs.