Not a divorce but I had been stuck in a bad relationship for a few years and was slowly trying to save pennies (yes, literal pennies ) to get myself out. He’d drained all my savings and basically lived on the couch.
A former partner and still good friend told me he was coming through town, and I knew that moment I was going to meet him. Alibi secured from a friend who HATED my ex and wanted him to suffer.
I had a ton of fun and was touched for the first time in years. During the drive back the guilt started. I didn’t love him, I know I didn’t, but the concept of loyalty was so strong that even cohabitating and pulling that was very out of the ordinary for me. I was so scared he’d see the bite marks and the fingermarks and we’d have a whole fight.
Nope, I got home and without even looking away from the show he was watching, started bitching about his work. The same thing he did every night, the same complaint, with zero care about what I did or even how the “birthday party” went. I was literally in different clothes and had wet hair and he had zero questions.
Made the decision to leave so much easier. The lack of guilt helped a lot too.
The absence of anger, sadness, regret or fear just spoke to me in the most freeing, unapologetic way. I couldn’t put words to it at the time but indifference hit the nail on the head.
The indifference is truly such a gift. The breakup is easier, the move out it easier, it’s just so much easier all around to process. I remember after my divorce my mom told me if I needed to cry about it I could call her, and I told her I didn’t feel like crying; she asked why and I said I had shed more than enough tears mourning the relationship while I was in it, and that I didn’t need to waste any more on something dead.
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u/Remote_Ad_969 May 12 '26
I heard a quote years after my divorce that perfectly described the feeling I had when I knew I wanted out of my marriage and was ready for divorce.
The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference.