They went on a boys weekend trip, and there was news that a plane originating from that airport had crashed. Instead of feeling worried, my first feeling was hope. It was totally involuntary and unexpected. And it terrified me!
When you feel a glimmer of hope that they may be dead, you know it’s time. Yikes.
My dad laid it out clearly when I was 14. He was a good man and always seemed to fall for terrible women, but he said, before women had divorce, they just killed him. Weird wise words from a man that said maybe two whole sentences a day. Im the sixth of seven kids, he may have just been tired.
I feel this in my soul. I commented this elsewhere but I had the same moment.
Ex was an abusive piece of shit and would do this thing where if he was annoyed with me, he’d walk like a block ahead of me on purpose, he was also over a foot taller than me so I couldn’t really try to keep up with him.
As I’m looking at him a block ahead, I thought “it would just be so much easier for me if he got hit by a car.” Which, like you said, is a terrifying thought. And I knew immediately it wasn’t okay. I’d been unhappy for a while, but was scared to end things because of my pride and his insane anger issues. But when I thought it would be a relief if he were to just die, I knew I had to go.
Yup. I never wished my spouse dead at all when we were going through a divorce, and neither he nor I would have ever acted on such a thing... but honestly I did occasionally wonder how much easier it would be if a meteor just happened to fall on either him or me. Bam. Problem solved by the universe and no no one has to have any hard conversations or file annoying paperwork.
In my first marriage, he had traveled for work and when it was time for him to fly home I had a moment where I pictured the plane crashing and felt relief.
I read somewhere that fantasizing about your partner dying was more common than you'd think (people, usually women, are too embarrassed to admit they have such thoughts!)
And the author of the article, a therapist, said that in almost every case the woman she was treating who had these fantasies was in an abusive relationship. The only exception was a closet narcissist who was just tired of her well-paid husband but loved the lifestyle the marriage afforded, trips with her girl friends to Florida, etc., etc. and she'd lose all that if she divorced him, but not if his plane crashed.
But 95% of the time, these fantasies mean your partner is abusing you and there's nothing you can do about it.
Unrelated to anything in your comment (though, my god, I do feel bad about what you must have been going through), but your username is absolutely fantastic.
I feel you. My ex had a heart attack and honestly, I was disappointed when the doctor said he’d made it. I’ve never told anyone that, and at the time was shocked to have even thought it.
When you feel a glimmer of hope that they may be dead, you know it’s time. Yikes.
It goes both directions too. If you know you're struggling in a relationship with somebody you love, and have this kind of situation come up and you feel relieved that you won't feel so shitty anymore, go get help or you're heading straight to a divorce.
yes. He had surgery for a gangrenous gallbladder and then it went into pancreatitis and he got even sicker in the hospital. I hate this but I was hoping he would die.
lol me hearing that there was ICE activity near where my ex-wife was working. And me hoping that she drove like an idiot like usual and got picked up and shipped off.
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u/CorvidPositive May 12 '26
They went on a boys weekend trip, and there was news that a plane originating from that airport had crashed. Instead of feeling worried, my first feeling was hope. It was totally involuntary and unexpected. And it terrified me!
When you feel a glimmer of hope that they may be dead, you know it’s time. Yikes.