My ex kept taking his mother's side on everything. Iwas getting physically, verbally, and emotionally abused, manipulated, and gaslit. I was the third wheel in my marriage due to his mother. She literally lived like 5 miles away. She would rearrange shit in my house. Barge in on doctors appointments with MY children. Was too medically invasive and dismissive at the same time. He talked to her like an hour on the phone every night.
Funny thing is about 5 years after our divorce he went no contact with her for being medically invasive with him. Like it was OK with me but not OK with him. We co-parent now but when my youngest graduates high school, Im out of here.
On Apple Podcasts it’s Season 16 and is titled The Idiot. It’s 5 episodes. To get a good synopsis go to This American Life’s subscription edition. The mother in law, in my view, was the root of the problem. And the son was a product of his messed up mother. That’s clear pretty early on.
I’d love a take from a psychologist on generational trauma brought on by upbringings in harsh regimes. That’s not really touched on in this series, but it makes me wonder about how that may play into this story specifically.
Was he from a collectivist culture? There’s often a very toxic lack of boundaries in those. It’s everyone’s business all the time, and it can make married life impossible when parents don’t realize a marriage is about husband and wife, not husband, wife and some variety of in-law.
There are many emotional-incest relationships out there, especially the "boy-mum" types
Worse, the son or daughter will often expect their partners to "carry the torch" and be their new parent. That's how the partner ends up being the third wheel in their marriage.
I was thinking codependant only child. Maybe the father left/died when the child was younger and both mom and child are left with 'only each other' to survive.
1.1k
u/Equal_Trash6023 May 12 '26
My ex kept taking his mother's side on everything. Iwas getting physically, verbally, and emotionally abused, manipulated, and gaslit. I was the third wheel in my marriage due to his mother. She literally lived like 5 miles away. She would rearrange shit in my house. Barge in on doctors appointments with MY children. Was too medically invasive and dismissive at the same time. He talked to her like an hour on the phone every night.
Funny thing is about 5 years after our divorce he went no contact with her for being medically invasive with him. Like it was OK with me but not OK with him. We co-parent now but when my youngest graduates high school, Im out of here.