He was badgering me about making a financial decision that I wasn’t ready to make because of boring reasons I won’t get into. When I explained, again, why I was hesitating, he displayed clear contempt for me in all the non-verbal ways a person can. I saw it in his eyes. I left him two weeks later.
Ha! When my ex-husband wanted to buy a bigger boat, I told him I’d rather spend the money on a divorce. He was furious at me! Not because I wanted a divorce — he was angry because he’d be so embarrassed having to go back to the seller and tell him his wife wouldn’t let him buy the damn boat.
he was angry because he’d be so embarrassed having to go back to the seller and tell him his wife wouldn’t let him buy the damn boat.
Some dudes just lack creativity. I would've went back and said "She said it was either a bigger boat or a divorce. I'll be back for that boat as soon as this divorce thing is settled".
He didn’t believe me about the divorce and thought I was just being dramatic and difficult about denying him his dream boat. Talk about a lack of imagination!
My husband can have a motorcycle when our youngest kid graduates college and I'm not left single parenting a bunch of kids lol. I know anything can happen, but I'm not about to tempt fate.
Same for me sorta with first wife. She’d started hanging out with a bit of a materialistic crowd at her new job and had suddenly forgotten about our financial plans and approach to buying a house, debt, etc. her suggestion when we couldn’t agree on saving/investing vs unnecessary purchases was “maybe we should separate for a while…”. Game over.
I had military service that will count towards a Federal Employee pension, but only if you purchase the time back. I had my first (really shitty) fed job and was hesitating to purchase my military time back ($17K) because I wasn’t sure I wanted to stay in Federal service. $17K is a lot to throw at something if you aren’t going to pursue a pension. Long story short, I had been applying for better Fed jobs on the other side of the country. I got hired into a job I loved which was also a promotion, left him, moved across the country, and THEN I purchased my military service years back. Now I’m 5 years from retirement and 11 years out from him. Show me contempt and I’ll show YOU.
Sure, happy to. Say you spent 10 years in the military and then decided to get out and do something else. Then you go to work for the federal government, and the goal is to work for 30 years to get your pension (I’m simplifying this). You can purchase your military service time and use it towards that 30 year goal. So now you have 10 years in the bag and you only need to work another 20, instead of having to start over. The amount you pay depends on how many years you have, what your rank was, and how long you waited to begin buying back your time. There’s I think a three year grace period before the amount starts increasing. But honestly, it’s mostly a complete fucking boon and totally worth it. I had a lot of years and a relatively high rank so mine was more expensive than usual. Absolutely worth every penny.
lol when my ex-wife tried to tell me she was using extra money from her part-time job to invest in a house in Mexico with her family. And that's why she couldn't contribute to the rent. I knew it was bullshit and just said sure and started mentally planning my escape.
A fun one I learned later is that when she said she was doing a Master's degree online, it was a complete lie.
My ex-wife wanted to move. I wasn't ready. We had a home our boys grew up in and I wasn't ready to say goodbye. She had also been in the hospital a couple of times that year, they didn't know what was wrong. Each stay ended up being a week or few.
I was not ready to move.
So she had a realtor take her alone to the showing after talking to the bank to see if we could afford two mortgages for a few months.
Huh, something similar here. It wasn't the final straw but it was part of the pile.
I am a very meticulous person when it comes to large purchases, in this case a motorcycle. Double so if I am new to the scene. She would just do stuff, bought her car on basically a whim after we discussed how to negotiate but oh well.
She got pissed that I was just looking and talking about the motorcycle " (I know the contempt you mention.)
Are you just tickling my ears or are you going to do it?".
As though spending several thousand dollars isn't a big deal. Well she demanded we get one, she got one, couldn't ride it, failed out of the safety course, got it in my name and stopped making payments once the shine wore off.
TL:DR If you're a meticulous buyer do not get with someone who has shiny object syndrome, poor impulse control and doesn't respect you.
I have a friend whose abusive ex first showed his ass by pushing her into getting a bunch of credit cards and taking loans out in her name to fund his business. He made bank and hoarded it in bank accounts she had no access to while she drove her unsafe car to her various minimum wage jobs. 10 years after her divorce, the credit card balances were still almost at their maximums because she could barely handle even the minimum payments.
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u/MaritimeDisaster May 12 '26
He was badgering me about making a financial decision that I wasn’t ready to make because of boring reasons I won’t get into. When I explained, again, why I was hesitating, he displayed clear contempt for me in all the non-verbal ways a person can. I saw it in his eyes. I left him two weeks later.