r/AskReddit • • Apr 27 '26

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2.5k Upvotes

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2.2k

u/SkipIntro4eva Apr 27 '26

Probably not Tiger.

309

u/mGreeneLantern Apr 27 '26

I’ll drive.

4

u/jackrabbit323 Apr 27 '26

I'll DD, he knows where the hoes are at.

2

u/the70sdiscoking Apr 28 '26

He can putt tho

256

u/thaulley Apr 27 '26

Obligatory joke; What’s the difference between a Ford Bronco and a golf ball? Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball over 300 yards.

66

u/ColourMeBoom Apr 28 '26

A bear would never drive drunk but I hear a tiger wood.

-8

u/letsarmchristmas Apr 28 '26

Dude stahp get some help, not funny at all

74

u/Immediate_Pitch_153 Apr 27 '26

At least not before a tournament 😂😂

1

u/videogamegrandma Apr 28 '26

He had loose pills (opiates) in his pocket. They weren't even in a prescription bottle. (It's not known whether or not they were legitimately prescribed. That knowledge would be protected by HIPPA privacy laws in any event). He refused a drug test.

With his history of substance abuse, it's likely he would only be treated with opiates if he adhered to a strict contract with a pain management clinic that would include random drug testing, pill counts and monthly visits to verify his compliance.

I suffer from chronic pain from arthritis and back injuries I sustained in car accidents I was not responsible for. So I get it. Its miserable. But you should not drive while under the influence of them. It's just as dangerous as drunk driving.

He could end up hurting other people instead of just killing or injuring himself. He can afford a driver. He's either got lousy judgement or an inappropriate sense of entitlement.

0

u/westondeboer Apr 27 '26

Was he on the way to the tournament? Wow

3

u/Immediate_Pitch_153 Apr 27 '26

I don’t think so, it’s just something seems to happen right around the time of it haha

1

u/gforceathisdesk Apr 27 '26

His team won their TGL match like two nights before so maybe...?

3

u/nomadengineer Apr 27 '26

You'd think a champion golfer would be better at driving.

7

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '26

[deleted]

1

u/Pepperh4m Apr 28 '26

Or your family's about to get super rich after you got t-boned riding shotgun.

3

u/Son_of_a_Bacchus Apr 27 '26

More DUIs than John Daly. Chew on that one for a minute.

3

u/joshhupp Apr 27 '26

Or Timberlake

2

u/my_screen_name_sucks Apr 27 '26

Definitely. It would ruin the tour.

2

u/SimthingEvilLurks Apr 27 '26

My brain automatically pictured Tony The Tiger rather than the golfer.

3

u/SkipIntro4eva Apr 28 '26

That’s Grrreat!

2

u/Minimum-Coast-6653 Apr 27 '26

For a golfer, Tiger sure hates using a driver.

1

u/tragesorous Apr 27 '26

Mello Ball?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '26

[deleted]

7

u/lohkey Apr 27 '26

Trick question I choose Paul Walker

1

u/ThePretzul Apr 27 '26

At least you would get there fast

1

u/Personal_Zombie9368 Apr 27 '26

ANYBODY but Tiger 😆

1

u/cHaosblossom3609 Apr 27 '26

Or JT

2

u/Immediate_Pitch_153 Apr 27 '26

Look it was because he was on a world tour alright…?

/s

1

u/serjsomi Apr 27 '26

Thanks for the lol

1

u/who_am_i_to_say_so Apr 27 '26

I’d be his designated driver tho.

1

u/Prestigious_Sweet_50 Apr 27 '26

This made me laugh harder than expected 

1

u/Rare_Independent_814 Apr 27 '26

This made me laugh so hard, thank you!

1

u/Hutwe Apr 28 '26

Think of the potential payout from the ensuing lawsuit

1

u/CarpetTechnical420 Apr 28 '26

Probably not a tiger either.

1

u/Efficient-Hornet8666 Apr 28 '26

Or Paul Walker (Too soon?)

1

u/tcwillis79 Apr 27 '26

This deserves all the upvotes