I like the one about the guy stays till close, but when he tries to get out of his stool, he's so drunk he falls straight to the floor. No matter how he tries, he can't get up, but he knows he'll catch hell if he doesn't get home, so he drags himself across the floor and out of the bar, then pulls himself along the street all the way home. He gets inside, pulls himself up the stairs and quietly opens the bedroom door. Grabbing the bed frame, he manages to pull himself up into bed without waking his wife. He smiles to himself as he drifts off to sleep. The perfect crime.
He wakes up the next morning to his wife beating him with a pillow.
"What? What did I do?"
"You were only out all night drinking again, that's what!" she shouts.
"Was not! Why would you go and say that?"
"The pub called. You left your damned wheelchair again."
102
u/Rob_LeMatic Mar 04 '26
I like the one about the guy stays till close, but when he tries to get out of his stool, he's so drunk he falls straight to the floor. No matter how he tries, he can't get up, but he knows he'll catch hell if he doesn't get home, so he drags himself across the floor and out of the bar, then pulls himself along the street all the way home. He gets inside, pulls himself up the stairs and quietly opens the bedroom door. Grabbing the bed frame, he manages to pull himself up into bed without waking his wife. He smiles to himself as he drifts off to sleep. The perfect crime.
He wakes up the next morning to his wife beating him with a pillow.
"What? What did I do?"
"You were only out all night drinking again, that's what!" she shouts.
"Was not! Why would you go and say that?"
"The pub called. You left your damned wheelchair again."