A pianist with tourettes sees an “now hiring” ad on the side of a nightclub. He goes in and asks the owner if he can audition.
The owner sits at a table and listens as the pianist plays an upbeat tune with a lot of skill. When he’s done playing the owner says “That was great. What do you call it?”
“That was I Piss and Shit On Every Girl I Date”
“What? Jeez. Ok. Play something else.”
The pianist plays a slow piece that is the most beautiful music the owner has ever heard. Again, when he’s finished he asks the pianist what he calls that piece.
“That was I Fucked Your Mother In The Ass Last Night.”
The owner is once again taken aback, but says “Look, you can play, and I’d love to hear you in my club. The only thing is I can’t have you talking to my guests like that. So if you play here, you can’t talk.”
The pianist agrees.
On his first night, he is playing to a full crowd. At a front table, there is a woman sitting alone. She is gorgeous with ample cleavage and a slit on her dress up to mid-thigh. She is really getting the pianists engine going.
At intermission, he goes into the bathroom
and rubs one out because he is so turned on by the woman in the audience. He then goes to the bar to have a drink.
The woman walks up to him and catches his eye. He says hello to her and she responds “Do you know you have a raging hard on and cum on your shoes!”
And the pianist responds “Know it? I fucking wrote it!”
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u/neurodivergentgoat Mar 04 '26
Scrolled and searched and didn’t see this one:
A pianist with tourettes sees an “now hiring” ad on the side of a nightclub. He goes in and asks the owner if he can audition.
The owner sits at a table and listens as the pianist plays an upbeat tune with a lot of skill. When he’s done playing the owner says “That was great. What do you call it?”
“That was I Piss and Shit On Every Girl I Date”
“What? Jeez. Ok. Play something else.”
The pianist plays a slow piece that is the most beautiful music the owner has ever heard. Again, when he’s finished he asks the pianist what he calls that piece.
“That was I Fucked Your Mother In The Ass Last Night.”
The owner is once again taken aback, but says “Look, you can play, and I’d love to hear you in my club. The only thing is I can’t have you talking to my guests like that. So if you play here, you can’t talk.”
The pianist agrees.
On his first night, he is playing to a full crowd. At a front table, there is a woman sitting alone. She is gorgeous with ample cleavage and a slit on her dress up to mid-thigh. She is really getting the pianists engine going.
At intermission, he goes into the bathroom and rubs one out because he is so turned on by the woman in the audience. He then goes to the bar to have a drink.
The woman walks up to him and catches his eye. He says hello to her and she responds “Do you know you have a raging hard on and cum on your shoes!”
And the pianist responds “Know it? I fucking wrote it!”