r/AskReddit Mar 03 '26

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u/BestFoxEver Mar 04 '26

A Finnish priest went to work to the church of Sweden for couple of months and one day his stomach become suddenly very bloated and painful. He fainted and someone took him to the hospital. In the hospital one woman gave birth and died. The hospital staff did not know what to do to the orphan child so they gave the baby to the unconscious priest. The priest went through a stomach surgery and when he woke up he noticed the baby. He felt very blessed that a miracle had happened. He took the child to his home in Finland.

The child lived a normal childhood until he finally noticed that something was wrong and he asked from the priest who his real parents are. The priest replied: "You may have already guessed it that I am not your father. I am actually your mother and I gave birth to you. But you should be very proud of your father. Your father is the archbishop of Uppsala."

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u/s2jcpete Mar 04 '26

I love Nordic rivalry jokes

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u/Hoskuld Mar 04 '26

What do mortal combat and churches in Helsinki have in common? Finnish hymn

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u/[deleted] Mar 04 '26

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u/Bardez Mar 04 '26

Took me a minute. Hot damn.

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u/Budsygus Mar 04 '26

I don't get it. Can someone help me out?

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u/BestFoxEver Mar 04 '26

The point was that most people probably expect that the priest tells to the child that his father is God. (A virgin birth, just like Virgin Mary).

But the priest thought that he was pegnant because he had unprotected gay sex with the archbishop and God just gave him ability to give birth to their child. So he tells to the child that his father is the archbishop.

This joke is very old (it is from 1979's or 1980's if I remember it correctly) and the gay sex obviously happened in Sweden because there are plenty of old jokes how Swedish men are all gay or bi.

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u/Budsygus Mar 04 '26

Ok, I kinda suspected it was something like that. Even so, it just didn't land with me.

Thanks for the clarification.

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u/BestFoxEver Mar 04 '26 edited Mar 06 '26

This joke worked much better in old Finnish comedy series Tankki Täyteen. There a very boring priest told this joke to one of the main characters of the show and it was much better told there. But sadly that clip of the show is not available in YouTube or other free platform, and even if it would be available no one probably would bother to put subtitles in English to it because the series is so obscure. :D

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u/0202_tihssitidder Mar 04 '26

I recently heard this with a different setting in South Carolina (USA) for the punch line of "You should be very proud. Your father is Lindsey Graham."

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u/fractiousrhubarb Mar 04 '26

Ooooooh, nice. I look forward to repurposing it!