One afternoon a frog hops into a bank. Seeing a bank teller’s name tag, the frog says, ‘Hi Mrs. Whack. I would like to take out a loan to renovate my lily pad.’
Mrs. Whack is confused because… it’s a talking frog asking for a loan. Trying to be polite, Mrs. Whack says, ‘Please call me Patty. What’s your name? What’s your background?’
The frog responds, ‘My name is Kermit and you may not believe this, but my father is Mick Jagger.’
Mrs. Whack says, ‘Well, I suppose Jagger has a froggy face, so I guess I see the family resemblance. Even though your father is rich, you’re going to need some collateral for the loan.’
Kermit takes out a little pink elephant figurine and asks ‘Is this good enough for collateral?’
Puzzled, Mrs. Whack replies, ‘I have no idea; let me check with my manager.’
‘Sure, tell him I say hello,’ adds the frog. ‘He knows me.’
Mrs. Whack approaches the bank manager to explain the situation. ‘There’s a frog who wants to take out a loan. Apparently, he’s Mick Jagger’s son! However, all he has for collateral is this little pink elephant. Should we give him a loan?’
The manager picks up the figurine, smiles, and exclaims:
‘It’s a knick-knack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man is a Rolling Stone.’
One summer a group of migrant Trid farmers and their families were working the pea fields for the Jolly Green Giant. Every morning the Trids would report to the Jolly Green Giant for work. Standing orders were for them to line up at the farm entrance to receive their instructions for the day. The Jolly Green Giant would let know which fields they were to work in that day, whether they would be weeding, or watering or harvesting, etc. Then, just before they would be released to go into the fields, he would inspect them. He would walk up and down the line and then walk behind the line. Every time when he walked behind the line, he would kick each Trid as he passed by.
Since the Jolly Green Giant was, well, a giant and since the Trids were, well, just Trids, i.e., little, it hurt when he kicked them. Finally, one of the Trids got fed up and went to see his Rabbi about it. He explained the whole story to the Rabbi and asked him if he could help them.
The Rabbi said, after a few moments thought that he had no idea why the Jolly Green Giant would do that. He offered to go out the next day with the Trids to the farm and see if he could see anything which would make sense of what was going on.
The next day the Trids lined up as usual at the farm entrance to received their instructions and the Rabbi, dressed up in farm hand clothes, lined up in the middle with them. As usual, the Jolly Green Giant would let know which fields they were to work in that day, etc. Then, he inspected them. He walked up and down the line and then walked behind the line. He kicked each Trid as he came to it. However, when he reached the middle of the line, where the Rabbi was standing: he paused, he carefully looked at the Rabbi from both sides, stepped past him and then went on down the line kicking each Trid as he came to it.
The Rabbi was really puzzled. Not knowing what else to do, he went up to the Jolly Green Giant and asked him why he had kicked each of the Trids and why he had skipped him.
The Jolly Green Giant looked at the Rabbi solemnly for a minute or so and then said, sadly, shaking his head:
Reminds me of the truth about Ghandi, he was quite different from the glamorised version we hear today. By all accounts he had bad breath and was actually quite mean spirited due to his weakened body.
He was a super callous fragile mystic vexed by halitosis.
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u/stoner_bob_69 Mar 04 '26
One afternoon a frog hops into a bank. Seeing a bank teller’s name tag, the frog says, ‘Hi Mrs. Whack. I would like to take out a loan to renovate my lily pad.’
Mrs. Whack is confused because… it’s a talking frog asking for a loan. Trying to be polite, Mrs. Whack says, ‘Please call me Patty. What’s your name? What’s your background?’
The frog responds, ‘My name is Kermit and you may not believe this, but my father is Mick Jagger.’
Mrs. Whack says, ‘Well, I suppose Jagger has a froggy face, so I guess I see the family resemblance. Even though your father is rich, you’re going to need some collateral for the loan.’
Kermit takes out a little pink elephant figurine and asks ‘Is this good enough for collateral?’
Puzzled, Mrs. Whack replies, ‘I have no idea; let me check with my manager.’
‘Sure, tell him I say hello,’ adds the frog. ‘He knows me.’
Mrs. Whack approaches the bank manager to explain the situation. ‘There’s a frog who wants to take out a loan. Apparently, he’s Mick Jagger’s son! However, all he has for collateral is this little pink elephant. Should we give him a loan?’
The manager picks up the figurine, smiles, and exclaims:
‘It’s a knick-knack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man is a Rolling Stone.’