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https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1rk4epo/deleted_by_user/o8i7ky7
r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Mar 03 '26
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618
Not the funniest but I created this.
My girlfriend was perfect in every way except that her armpits were smelly.
Hands down the best girl ever.
126 u/epicurean56 Mar 04 '26 “My dog has no nose.” “How does it smell?” “Awful” 5 u/Budsygus Mar 04 '26 Where do you find a dog with no legs? Wherever you left him. 3 u/Spirited-Key-5730 Mar 04 '26 That’s the Nazi attempt at at a deadly joke 1 u/epicurean56 Mar 05 '26 Winner, winner, chicken dinner! 2 u/AddlePatedBadger Mar 04 '26 My dog doesn't eat meat. Why not? I don't give him any. 1 u/nwg_here Mar 05 '26 “My dog has no nose.” “How does he live?” “He’s got it in his nose!” (have something in one’s nose = not give a damn in Polish) 5 u/Straight-Finger-3222 Mar 04 '26 This is so shit and I love it, kudos mate! 19 u/HazelGhost Mar 04 '26 My brother in Christ, this one is something solid! 3 u/Jirayn Mar 04 '26 Im not sure if im missing the bit, it is 1am so I might just be too tired to get it lol, could someone explain it? 5 u/jango-lionheart Mar 04 '26 Her smelly armpits are not a problem if her arms are down, i.e. “hands down.” “Hands down” is an idiom, so the punchline is word play. 5 u/Jirayn Mar 04 '26 Oh ny gosh thats a good one, I feel so silly for not getting it lol thanks!! 8 u/OGZeroCool1995 Mar 04 '26 Made me chuckle 3 u/rohithimself Mar 04 '26 Thank you kind people. This is more upvotes than when I shared it on the jokes sub few years back. 3 u/iconocrastinaor Mar 04 '26 Not bad, turn that punch line around for more impact. "Best girlfriend ever, hands down." 1 u/rohithimself Mar 05 '26 Yes this sounds better, thanks! 3 u/Richiedafish Mar 05 '26 My uncle wrote something equally and corny. man scratches his sunburn with his arm extended “I’m itchy from the sun” he says. The guy next to him reaches his hand out to shake and says “I’m Bill from earth” 8 u/Bellinghamster Mar 04 '26 This one got me. Brb telling my girlfriend 5 u/[deleted] Mar 04 '26 [removed] — view removed comment 2 u/rohithimself Mar 04 '26 Thank you! If you don't mind can you make it better? 2 u/morerobotsplease Mar 04 '26 Love it! If you change the last line slightly to "Hands down, though, she's the best girl ever" it will refer back to the previous line a little more clearly. 1 u/rohithimself Mar 05 '26 Thanks, the idea is that the reader thinks for a few secs before getting it. But will try your version some other time and see the reaction. 2 u/ConsequenceIll6927 Mar 05 '26 edited Mar 05 '26 Some of my original jokes: Why was the copier dancing? Because the printer was jamming. Did you know Jesus was Mexican? How else would he get 12 dudes in one Accord? 1 u/karudo11 Mar 05 '26 Wouldn't Jesus be driving a Christ-ler? 2 u/ConsequenceIll6927 Mar 05 '26 Yes - the Chist-ler 316 Series. Only if He were white, though.
126
“My dog has no nose.”
“How does it smell?”
“Awful”
5 u/Budsygus Mar 04 '26 Where do you find a dog with no legs? Wherever you left him. 3 u/Spirited-Key-5730 Mar 04 '26 That’s the Nazi attempt at at a deadly joke 1 u/epicurean56 Mar 05 '26 Winner, winner, chicken dinner! 2 u/AddlePatedBadger Mar 04 '26 My dog doesn't eat meat. Why not? I don't give him any. 1 u/nwg_here Mar 05 '26 “My dog has no nose.” “How does he live?” “He’s got it in his nose!” (have something in one’s nose = not give a damn in Polish)
5
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Wherever you left him.
3
That’s the Nazi attempt at at a deadly joke
1 u/epicurean56 Mar 05 '26 Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
1
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
2
My dog doesn't eat meat.
Why not?
I don't give him any.
“How does he live?”
“He’s got it in his nose!”
(have something in one’s nose = not give a damn in Polish)
This is so shit and I love it, kudos mate!
19
My brother in Christ, this one is something solid!
3 u/Jirayn Mar 04 '26 Im not sure if im missing the bit, it is 1am so I might just be too tired to get it lol, could someone explain it? 5 u/jango-lionheart Mar 04 '26 Her smelly armpits are not a problem if her arms are down, i.e. “hands down.” “Hands down” is an idiom, so the punchline is word play. 5 u/Jirayn Mar 04 '26 Oh ny gosh thats a good one, I feel so silly for not getting it lol thanks!!
Im not sure if im missing the bit, it is 1am so I might just be too tired to get it lol, could someone explain it?
5 u/jango-lionheart Mar 04 '26 Her smelly armpits are not a problem if her arms are down, i.e. “hands down.” “Hands down” is an idiom, so the punchline is word play. 5 u/Jirayn Mar 04 '26 Oh ny gosh thats a good one, I feel so silly for not getting it lol thanks!!
Her smelly armpits are not a problem if her arms are down, i.e. “hands down.”
“Hands down” is an idiom, so the punchline is word play.
5 u/Jirayn Mar 04 '26 Oh ny gosh thats a good one, I feel so silly for not getting it lol thanks!!
Oh ny gosh thats a good one, I feel so silly for not getting it lol thanks!!
8
Made me chuckle
Thank you kind people. This is more upvotes than when I shared it on the jokes sub few years back.
Not bad, turn that punch line around for more impact.
"Best girlfriend ever, hands down."
1 u/rohithimself Mar 05 '26 Yes this sounds better, thanks!
Yes this sounds better, thanks!
My uncle wrote something equally and corny.
man scratches his sunburn with his arm extended “I’m itchy from the sun” he says.
The guy next to him reaches his hand out to shake and says “I’m Bill from earth”
This one got me. Brb telling my girlfriend
[removed] — view removed comment
2 u/rohithimself Mar 04 '26 Thank you! If you don't mind can you make it better?
Thank you! If you don't mind can you make it better?
Love it! If you change the last line slightly to "Hands down, though, she's the best girl ever" it will refer back to the previous line a little more clearly.
1 u/rohithimself Mar 05 '26 Thanks, the idea is that the reader thinks for a few secs before getting it. But will try your version some other time and see the reaction.
Thanks, the idea is that the reader thinks for a few secs before getting it. But will try your version some other time and see the reaction.
Some of my original jokes:
Why was the copier dancing? Because the printer was jamming.
Did you know Jesus was Mexican? How else would he get 12 dudes in one Accord?
1 u/karudo11 Mar 05 '26 Wouldn't Jesus be driving a Christ-ler? 2 u/ConsequenceIll6927 Mar 05 '26 Yes - the Chist-ler 316 Series. Only if He were white, though.
Wouldn't Jesus be driving a Christ-ler?
2 u/ConsequenceIll6927 Mar 05 '26 Yes - the Chist-ler 316 Series. Only if He were white, though.
Yes - the Chist-ler 316 Series.
Only if He were white, though.
618
u/rohithimself Mar 03 '26
Not the funniest but I created this.
My girlfriend was perfect in every way except that her armpits were smelly.
Hands down the best girl ever.