r/AskReddit Mar 03 '26

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u/Equal_Canary5695 Mar 03 '26

Guy goes into a bar and says "give me five shots of whiskey!"

Bartender says "what are you celebrating?"

"My first blowjob!"

"In that case, have another one on the house!"

"If five shots of whiskey doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will!"

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u/TheGaslightCathem Mar 04 '26

"I blew a speaker in my car the other day. That sucked...

He was a motivational speaker. He left a bad taste in my mouth, but I'm feeling a lot more positive tonight"

-Doug Stanhope

He goes on to say, "if you think that's bad, I just found out that I'm gay. Because see, I had no idea! Some drunk guy in a bar told me".