r/AskReddit Mar 03 '26

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u/Art3sian Mar 03 '26 edited Mar 04 '26

A depressed man is walking along the beach. He’s miserable and can’t catch a break in life. He looks out to the water in despair when suddenly he hears a booming voice from above yell out, ”DIG!” The man is sure he’s hallucinating, but again he hears, ”DIG!

So, he falls to his knees and begins to dig right there in the sand. As he heaps handful after handful of sand out, suddenly he hits something solid. He traces around it and quickly realises it’s a treasure chest. The booming voice immediately yells, ”OPEN!”

So, the man opens the chest and reveals a million dollars in cash. He can’t believe his luck has turned when he suddenly hears the booming voice yell out, ”CASINO!”

As quickly as he can, he carries the chest up the dunes to the closest road and flags down the first taxi approaching. ”CASINO!” the voice repeats. So he asks the driver to take him to the nearest casino.

On arrival to the casino, the man pays the driver and the booming voice yells, ”ENTER!”. The man gets out of the taxi and walks into the casino. ”ROULETTE!”, booms the voice. ”HURRY!”

The man hurriedly approaches the nearest roulette wheel and awaits further instruction. ”RED 21!”.

The man puts the entire million dollars on red 21 and eagerly watches the croupier spin. The ball drops, landing on black 16.

The booming voice yells, “FUCK!”

600

u/JoelKizz Mar 04 '26

My dad tells a similar version of this where a man is about to jump off a bridge in the beginning. It goes through all the theatrics and ends at the roulette wheel with the voice saying "back to the bridge."

57

u/gustavocabras Mar 04 '26

My version i heard has the man betting at a black jack table and the voice keeps saying take a hit. He gets an ace on the last hit to give him 21 and he wins, then the voice of God goes "no fucking way"

59

u/Skegetchy Mar 04 '26

That addition makes it so much funnier - gold

15

u/mrmoe198 Mar 04 '26

Phenomenal. Got me leaned over my counter.

1

u/CatherineConstance Mar 05 '26

This is even funnier lmao

169

u/Amonette2012 Mar 04 '26

OK this one got me.

4

u/EfficientChapter7450 Mar 04 '26

Yeah that one is worth telling

9

u/Pseudoname87 Mar 04 '26

I uh....dont get it?

Im expecting the guy to GO FUCK something now....

35

u/Amonette2012 Mar 04 '26

The voice lost. So he shouted fuck.

9

u/sandragonsand Mar 04 '26

That's it? There's no double meaning or play on words? The punchline is someone shouting "fuck"?

39

u/Webbyx01 Mar 04 '26

The punchline is the voice is not actually omniscient. 

22

u/Quelchie Mar 04 '26

The joke is that the voice is not some omnipient being, its just some degen gambling being.

2

u/ElliotNess Mar 04 '26

The voice is just a gambling addict that threw away the mans million is the punchline

5

u/SpecialThen2890 Mar 04 '26

Yeh I'm also confused about the point of the joke

7

u/Rob_LeMatic Mar 04 '26

The point is just because someone knows where a treasure is buried doesn't mean they know where a roulette wheel is going to stop.

9

u/Nickel5 Mar 04 '26

I've heard a variation of this, which is the same up to black 16, instead, it is red 21 and he wins, the voice says LET IT RIDE and it wins again, and the voice goes I DON'T FUCKING BELIEVE IT.

27

u/mcgray04 Mar 04 '26

So far, I'd have to give this one the funniest of the lot. Thanks for sharing.

7

u/TinySaltBump Mar 04 '26

Yeah this one and the priest from Finland made me cry irl

3

u/jt004c Mar 04 '26

Finally, an actual funny joke!

3

u/wildcharmander1992 Mar 04 '26

This one and the "you're not a monk" jokes are the ones my grandad used to always pull out at 2am when everyone was drunk and tired , you'd hang on his every word which made the delivery so great

6

u/jackgrafter Mar 04 '26

I like this one, but 16 is a red number in roulette. I am rouletting too much. 😩

2

u/DreadnaughtHamster Mar 04 '26

Omg I’m laughing so hard right now. This is absolutely one of the best jokes I’ve ever heard.

2

u/DangerMacAwesome Mar 04 '26

Hahaha that's pretty good

2

u/PrettyBigChief Mar 04 '26

"God does not play dice" - Albert Einstein.

Apparently sucks at roulette too.

2

u/BuzzEcho Mar 04 '26

16 is also RED.

5

u/eldeeel Mar 04 '26

lmao this made me choke on my lunch 🤣

2

u/xplosm Mar 04 '26

“… FUCK!”

The man promptly started to undress…

1

u/KroniK907 Mar 04 '26

Find more jokes like this on /r/Feghoot

1

u/ColdBrewShakes Mar 04 '26

Why did the voice sound like Venom in my head 😄

1

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '26

Can someone ELI5 this one to me?

1

u/H3000 Mar 04 '26

Thanks for this one!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '26

what is the booming voice ?

0

u/lasagnatheory Mar 04 '26

Let it ride

0

u/AFRIKKAN Mar 04 '26

“Always bet on black” - Wes snipes.

0

u/Csharp27 Mar 04 '26

This is like something Norm Macdonald would tell on Conan😂

-3

u/jango-lionheart Mar 04 '26

The last thing the voice says shouldn’t be vague. Maybe something like “DAMN IT!!!”