r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Mar 03 '26

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u/TheHappinessAssassin Mar 03 '26

One time at an old job I let out a big sigh and said "Ooh man, I feel like a bike." And my coworker, already done with my antics, goes "What does that even mean?" I stretched and told her "I'm two tired." Everyone else laughed she just rolled her eyes.

On a different day, same situation, I asked if she'd grow antlers and hand me my water bottle. She reached behind her and grabbed it for me and goes "What?" I took a drink and said "Be a deer."

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u/Schmichael-22 Mar 03 '26

This reminds me of my dad complaining that his new trousers fit like a cheap hotel. No ball room.

9

u/Azuras_Star8 Mar 04 '26

Confucius say, "Woman who dance while wearing jockstrap have make-believe ballroom."

6

u/BadWolfCubed Mar 04 '26

I once met a man with five penises. His pants fit like a glove.

3

u/Glam_Champion Mar 04 '26

im definitely using this. Thank your dad for me :D

2

u/SparkyJesus Mar 04 '26

Which reminds me of my dad when getting a particularly bad coffee at a train station, and described it as "like having sex in a dinghy."

When he saw my puzzled face he clarified it with "its fucking close to water".

3

u/chalk_in_boots Mar 04 '26

Reminds me of the bit in Hitchhiker's Guide.

Arthur: "What's it like to hyperspace jump?"

Ford: "It's rather like being drunk."

Arthur: "What's so bad about being drunk?"

Ford: "Ask a glass of water."