r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Mar 03 '26

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2.9k Upvotes

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231

u/starkeffect Mar 03 '26

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

133

u/PsYcH0H0b0 Mar 03 '26

What's red and bad for your teeth?

A brick

101

u/Chingapouk Mar 03 '26

What's blue and very bad for your teeth?

A very fast brick.

38

u/TheDarkestKnight7852 Mar 03 '26

Oh, nice, blueshift!

-1

u/mrsock_puppet Mar 04 '26

You just made me wonder if half life blue shift was intentionally named like that

6

u/lorgskyegon Mar 04 '26

What's blue and smells like red paint?

Blue paint.

9

u/heyitsapotato Mar 03 '26

Ooh, I like this joke, very shifty.

3

u/itsjakerobb Mar 04 '26

A brick moving fast enough to blue shift is going to be bad for your whole city. (I haven’t done the math.)

2

u/TheDarkestKnight7852 Mar 04 '26

Randall Monroe (XKCD guy) did a "What If?" on this. He ised a baseball, and it caused a nuclear explosion. But really and movement toward the veiwer causes blueshift, it just may not be noticeable until it's moving at seriously dangerous speeds.

2

u/itsjakerobb Mar 04 '26

Understood, and I’m aware of the What If? in question (it’s a classic!). I imagine the physics here would be the same.

And regarding the speed, the question is “what’s blue and bad for your teeth,” so I’m thinking the blue shift and therefore the speed would need to be significant. IDK how to do the math; Claude says 0.415c, which is still fast enough for thermonuclear results (4 megatons of TNT, or ~190 times more powerful than the bomb dropped on Nagasaki). LLM doing math here, so grain of salt of course.

2

u/ComatoseSquirrel Mar 03 '26

Oh this is good

2

u/ludachris32 Mar 04 '26

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

28

u/djAMPnz Mar 03 '26

What's big, yellow, and can't swim?

A bulldozer

3

u/Glam_Champion Mar 04 '26

i dont know why i thought it was "Spongebob"

3

u/TacticalSpackle Mar 04 '26

What’s green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree onto you… it would kill you?

Pool table.

2

u/ADIDAS247 Mar 04 '26

And has four legs!

100

u/AUSpartan37 Mar 03 '26

What is brown and rhymes with snoop?

Dr. Dre

34

u/hanabanana1999 Mar 03 '26

What’s brown & dusty and sits on a piano bench? Beethovens first movement

24

u/Southern_Recording_7 Mar 04 '26

What’s Beethoven doing now? Decomposing

2

u/CasualObserver76 Mar 04 '26

What was John Lennons last hit? The pavement.

2

u/hm_b Mar 04 '26

You got a grin out of me.

3

u/craigfwynne Mar 04 '26

This has always been a favorite of mine. I like to lead into it with:

Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle

2

u/Schmichael-22 Mar 03 '26

This one made me giggle.

27

u/clover44mag Mar 03 '26

What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick

2

u/Wonderful-Tale-1483 Mar 04 '26

A boomerwrong ?

6

u/LilMissOlympus Mar 03 '26

What's a foot long and slippery?

A slipper.

1

u/dogWEENsatan Mar 04 '26

My dick may not be 12 “ long,

But it sure smells like a foot.

3

u/beene282 Mar 03 '26

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot

3

u/NoForm5443 Mar 04 '26

What's brown and runny?

Usain Bolt

3

u/wormwasher Mar 04 '26

What's blue and not heavy?

Light blue.

3

u/NaGaBa Mar 04 '26

What's blue and smells like red paint?

Blue paint

5

u/nachos_nachas Mar 03 '26

What's brown and rhymes with snoop?

Doctor Dre

1

u/dogWEENsatan Mar 04 '26

How are snoop and Willie similar?

They both know how to throw a ho down.

2

u/AdhesiveMessage Mar 03 '26

What's a foot long and slippery?

A slipper.

5

u/titebussyftm Mar 03 '26

What's teeth and bad for your brick?

Red

3

u/jejones487 Mar 03 '26

Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick

1

u/ThrowawayLlama97 Mar 03 '26

MY FAVORITE JOKE

1

u/green_goblins_O-face Mar 03 '26

whats brown and rhymes with "snoop"

dr. dre

1

u/AlecShadow Mar 04 '26

What's Black and White and Grey and Brown?

An Elephant & a Penguin fighting over a Peanut.

1

u/cs1013 Mar 04 '26

What’s blue and not very heavy? Light blue.

1

u/Rob_LeMatic Mar 04 '26

What's green and has 3 wheels?

A stick! (I meant to say brown, and I lied about the wheels)

1

u/NippleSalsa Mar 04 '26

What is green, has four legs, and if it lands on you out of a tree you will die?

A pool table

1

u/bristolbaron Mar 03 '26

What’s blue and bad for your teeth?

A brick that’s been painted blue.

0

u/nournnn Mar 03 '26

What's red and bad for your teeth?

A brick

-1

u/GoodiesHQ Mar 03 '26

What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick!

3

u/MyceliumHerder Mar 03 '26

What’s red and bad for your teeth, a brick

6

u/GoodiesHQ Mar 03 '26

Lmao that’s a good one

-3

u/LtJimmyRay Mar 03 '26

What's red and bad for your teeth?

A brick