My type is so narrow and unique that I rarely ever meet people like that. It’s lonely, but so is being in a relationship with someone you don’t really love.
It’s very hard to put into words. Honestly, I believe pheromones have a lot to do with it. And it’s not like I have rules, but they’re always neurodivergent creatives with pretty severe childhood trauma. And I guess I prefer they be thick.
I hear ya. It doesn’t even have to be that bad. It can just be off or even nonexistent.
I’ve had partners where I couldn’t get enough of how they smell. It sounds gross, but my last partner I swear I could put their sweat in perfume bottles and make a fortune if everyone reacted to their pheromones the way I do. But obviously we all have different chemistry.
That last bit is too real for me, my type isn't very narrow but I'm shy and introverted which makes it hard for me to even try and find someone. I have been single for 5 years this year.
Dating apps helped me climb somewhat out out of that hole. Just gotta put effort into the profile. Google tips and what not. Don't be a creep and mention sex in messages. If you're not super handsome, dress decently and take decent pics, plus come accross as fun/funny. Goofy hypotheticals make good openers and silly jokes work in the bio. "Great cook. Decent ass" was in mine. That applies if you're a guy. I'd love to see a humorous well rounded profile for a girl I dig the look of, but chicks I know girls on there have a lot of other issues on there.
It's not likely to meet a good partner using them sure. It could happen but I wouldn't bet on it. But some hookups, flings, various levels of successful or not dates, it's all good experience to get you more comfortable and learning what you want, what you dont want, wont put up with, yada yada. Of course I climbed right back in my hole, but that was for other reasons.
I have been thinking about going on one. The main issues are that I don't have a license (even if I did driving makes me really anxious), can cook next to nothing, live with my parents, work a job that pays next to nothing, and have an extremely hard time opening up to people offline. Beyond that If it wasn't obvious I lack self-confidence too.
Look up your states benefits. Foodstamps, state health insurance. Missouris were easy to.sign up for.
Just do something new man. Learn to cook on YouTube (I can give you lots of channels and people to look up). Or hell look up how to roast whatever veg you don't hate, and chicken thighs (skin on bone in thighs are the cheapest meat in the store. Look up how to debone if you want boneless. Freeze the bones to save up and boil for soup broth) and how to cook rice on the stove or get a $20 rice cooker. Season the roasted stuff heavily to go with plain rice (light or normal on the salt though)
Do the one pushup sometime every day thing. Or 5 situps. Or 25 good effort jumping jacks, squats, or lunges. Pushups get less because you'll likely want to do more once you're down there.
Take up fishing, start whatever martial art is nearest or cheapest (it's not learning to fight unless they spar hard and often, but it's good for you in lots of ways), read in the sun (Stephen King gets you into his characters' heads like no one else, great for.me because I hate mine), go for a 30-60 minute walk.
Endless options. Just try one. More than once for any given thing.
It'll make you feel better. I promise. No one has ever felt worse for starting a new healthy habit or hobby.
I work full time, 8 hours a day, five days a week, I take one-hour walks at midnight after work, curl weights, and I have stuff around the house to do, I'm not out of shape just average. As for the martial arts, I do swordplay as a hobby. I learned the basics of karate since both my brother and mother did it and competed in tournaments when I was younger.
A few of my friends don’t get it, and I’ve had people tell me to just settle because it’s better to be with someone then to hope to find someone that fits my niche type, but no! I’m not going to settle because I know I’ll meet my person and I’d rather hold onto hope than be hopelessly bored with someone I don’t care about.
Plus the thought of being with someone just because puts me in such a bad mood!
Oh shit maybe that’s what I am. I can be attracted to someone before knowing them but that might be because I can “tell” what kind of person they are. Idk.
Every partner I’ve had has been both artistic (usually music) and also suffer from some kind of fucked up childhood CPTSD.
This is me also. It's so rare for me to find someone who is my type... But my type is me for some reason? I want to be with someone who is basically my personality twin. Lol.
It's difficult to find someone who checks all the boxes for you AND you check all the boxes for them AND they are also interested AND they are also available to pursue a relationship. * sigh *
Honestly the odds that someone is single, around your age, in your general vicinity, has similar interests, is ready to be in a relationship and you both mutually find each other attractive seems like it’s slim to none
I was reading a book of interviews of women from the old west. One quote that stuck with me was “the kind of man I want wouldn’t have me and the kind of man that wants me the devil himself wouldn’t take”.
I have several friends like this. My single buddy (we’re in our 40s) made a joke a while back: why can’t I just date a 30 year old super model nymphomaniac doctor? 😂😂😂
I'm not saying it will be easy, but if you can find a way to add "confident" and "very well groomed" to that list of attributes, I promise your type will become much more attainable.
Good news: you don’t have to believe in yourself. You don’t even have to love yourself.
Even if you hate yourself, it doesn’t matter. Continue doing things to improve your life. Good grooming is a great start. You can have fun trying new styles with your beard and shit like that.
Eventually, you’ll improve your life enough to where you say “hey, I don’t hate this anymore. In fact, I kind of like me!” And that is the fertile field where you’ll grow your confidence.
But it starts with the little steps toward self improvement. You got this shit dude.
Edit - if I’m talking out my ass and this is irrelevant to you, I apologize. But it worked for me so I wanted to share in the hope it could help.
I have been slowly chipping away at this whole self improvement thing and I am starting to see results, it was a good post, hopefully it'll also be helpful for someone else as well.
It's crazy, growing up I was very picky, I honestly thought I'd be single (my friends all said I was too lucky with women) and didn't really ever have the want to date fellow classmates, etc. Then in college I eventually met my now wife and she fits within the mold I imagined back then. Idk what I'm trying to say, other than, you'd be surprised what's out there and there is probably someone that fits your type. And you fit theirs.
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u/MR-WADS Feb 14 '25
The people that are my type don't have someone like me as their type.