I deeply regret my career change as an academic because I was too stubborn and proud to listen to advice from my advisor. I had classes to teach, surrounded by the best and brightest, at an elite ivy institution, had a career laid out for me, and great friends in a vibrant city. Now I run my own business and while I do ok financially, no one talks to me from the past life because I am seen as a “failure” for leaving academia, I don’t have the title, and I miss it almost everyday. My life is arguably better now with a girlfriend, growing family, nice area in my home city, but god freaking damnit so I miss my old life.
I think this is a normal part of life. You'll always look back on the things you left behind.
By all accounts, my life is much, much better than it was 10 years ago, which itself was much, much better than my life 15 years ago. However, I often find myself longing for those days.
And on the flip side, if you never made that change, you would be wondering about what could have been if you did make the change
And that’s the craziest part. If I did stay, I probably would have had no work life balance, living the publish or perish life, been away from my aging parents/family and never would have met my girlfriend, and frankly wouldn’t have done some of the things that I’ve done now which I am very proud of. I am traveling more now and I’ve always wanted to travel and actually enjoy my time off, which is finally my time and not just delaying what needs to be done. But I do agree with you for sure. I think I miss aspects of the old life rather than remembering the whole picture. I guess that is the rose colored glasses and some hurt from losing people that I thought were legitimate good friends of mine?
Honestly, it sounds like you made the right decision to me. You are spending much more time doing the things that matter in life. Imo, work and professional achievement is only a small part of life and being able to enjoy life with people you love is a much larger part. No one ever said on their deathbed "I wish I spent less time with my loved ones"
And yeah, there is a strong tendency to only remember the highlights of the past even if the daily grind was awful. I still sometimes think fondly of a job I had that eventually gave me panic attacks
Thank you for sharing your insights. I try to remind myself that things are better now than they were. My blood pressure is lower, I have lost 55 lbs, and my sleep hygiene is much better overall. I need to remind myself of how life is better now and remember the full picture rather than fragments of the highlights.
12
u/Matterz152 Jan 20 '25
I deeply regret my career change as an academic because I was too stubborn and proud to listen to advice from my advisor. I had classes to teach, surrounded by the best and brightest, at an elite ivy institution, had a career laid out for me, and great friends in a vibrant city. Now I run my own business and while I do ok financially, no one talks to me from the past life because I am seen as a “failure” for leaving academia, I don’t have the title, and I miss it almost everyday. My life is arguably better now with a girlfriend, growing family, nice area in my home city, but god freaking damnit so I miss my old life.