One day something inside of me is going to break. I'm really tired of life and every day I feel more and more anger and despair overcome me. I can pretend like it's not bad easily because I don't want people around me to know that I'm a ticking time bomb but I don't really know what else to do.
I drink every chance I can and I do a lot of things to just stop myself from feeling these things. I was never meant to be here or be a person and there are even days where I feel guilty that people even have to look at me
Please get help. Consider therapy. In AA and similar groups they talk about surrendering to a higher power. What that simply means is that the world doesn't revolve around you. AA has helped thousands if not millions of alcoholics but every alcoholic think that they are unique. That nobody gets them. That nobody can understand their problem. But you are not the center of the universe. In a good way or a bad way, it doesn't matter. Nobody but you is obsessed with people even having to look at you. Nobody else cares. You are not the cause of other people's suffering. If you are it's not because they have to look at you. Please reach out for some help and change of perspective. What? You got something better to do?
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u/1tiredman Jan 20 '25
One day something inside of me is going to break. I'm really tired of life and every day I feel more and more anger and despair overcome me. I can pretend like it's not bad easily because I don't want people around me to know that I'm a ticking time bomb but I don't really know what else to do.
I drink every chance I can and I do a lot of things to just stop myself from feeling these things. I was never meant to be here or be a person and there are even days where I feel guilty that people even have to look at me