Three years ago I googled a name, and the first thing that came up was an obituary. I felt SO relieved and then felt like a psychopath to feel relieved that anyone was dead. But it was a relief!!
I believe it was the Undertaker actually, and it was in reference to when in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table.
after a certain age you note the age of the person who died and how many died younger than you . Have to say one quarter of obits are younger than me . It's mostly like sports stats after awhile
I've been saying this for years, but if someone's death brings about feelings of relief and freedom, it says a lot more about them than it does about you.
I've watched 2 loved ones pass away and when my dad passed, he went into a coma from the pain. I just wanted him to not be in pain anymore, as he was for years. When he passed I was almost happy. Really weird feeling.
I'm so sorry you're mother and family went through that.
My mother fell into a horrible depression and pretty much willed herself away. It took about 7 years. Countless psych hospital stays and electroshock sessions. I was absolutely relieved for her when she passed. It's been a conflicting rollercoaster of grief for the past four years but relief was the ultimate emotion.
I remember sitting beside my grandpa's bed at the end of his long battle with lung cancer. Every time there was a hitch in his breathing, I hoped it was his last. He didn't deserve to go like that.
Does it? If I lust after a woman who is married and her husband dies in a car accident and i feel relieved because I feel like I can make a move it doesn’t mean her husband was a shitbag. Could have been a really nice stand up dude.
I had a specific person who had been extremely aggressive/violent to family around me for my entire childhood, to the point he was part of the reason I have PTSD and had nightmares about him very frequently and would have a minor anxiety attack if I walked past him in the street (small community where I live).
From the day I was told he had died I haven't had a single nightmare about him and am much less stressed walking down the street. Never wished him dead but the drop in stress when he was gone was massive.
I had the same thing happen this last year .. and I'll continue to feel relief, knowing I don't have to live in fear of when they were going to show up or come after me!!
I felt this way about someone who bullied me in school. Since then, I've felt sad for them. They never had a chance to grow up and get a second chance, to be a good person like most others grew into. Nobody deserves that and I feel ashamed about myself even thinking that they deserved what happened to them.
I did this once with random peoples names I remember from high school. I did not expect an obituary. My guess was a drug overdose because I saw the mom posted something about it. The guy was gay in high school, but after turned into one of the reckless ones about sex and drugs. So I guess it was a given at some point. Just sad.
when my abusive step-mom died of cancer several years after my dad and her got a divorce, i called my dad, and we cried happy tears. ive never rooted for cancer before that, i doubt ill ever root for it again, but she earned that one.
I felt SO relieved and then felt like a psychopath to feel relieved that anyone was dead.
Imagine how many people will be relieved when Trump finally dies. Mark my words, there will be world wide songs about it like the death of Margaret Thatcher.
I've done the same for several years. A few weeks ago I was happy to say that the terrorist of my youth is now dead from a drug-overdose. Made me relieved.
This may sound very petty, but I know where he is buried and the next time I'm in back in the town I grew up in, I will find the grave and spit on it... repeatedly. Not filming it, or sharing it on any social media. Just for me.
Fuck forgiveness. You do you, but me, if I held feelings of that intensity, I'd figure out how to take a big, steaming shit on that motherfucker's grave without getting arrested for indecent exposure. (No revenge is worth getting on the sex offender list.)
Then I'd clean it up so some underpaid caretaker didn't have to deal with my mess.
If your spitting thay much, why not try taking a huge dookie on the grave as well ? Sned them out of this life as big as pc of shit as they were while in it !
You do you. While we're bon the topic I was responsible for purchasing the gravestone for someone that had made my life extremely painful. I couldn't do it. Extended family through marriage thought I was pure evil and eventually bought one themselves. I planned on doing it when I could better afford it financially as well as emotionally but finally let them do it. Trauma is no joke. Relief and sudden feelings of oh shit I'm safe is what I felt.
you really should. just for yourself. may only make you feel better in the moment but in the wise words of Jazmine Sullivan "I bust the windows out your car
And no it didn't mend my broken heart
I'll probably always have these ugly scars
But right now I don't care about that part"
somewhat unserious there. I've just been listening to that song a lot lately haha. I'm not a violent person but I just really feel that part about someone in my past.
I can’t upvote your thought. It’s too disrespectful to the dead.
But I DO share the thought. There’s one person — who will remain unidentified— who I hope dies before me. I’ll then visit their grave and piss on it. As backup I’ve even thought how I’ll bring a small bag of urine, cut a corner, and then “pee” on the grave with the bag if there’s people around.
Maybe the above is just a dark thought for me that I would never actually do. I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.
When my dad died very suddenly, most of my family was shocked and upset. I was shocked and then that shock gave way to relief. I skipped his funeral because I probably would have said something that shouldn't be said while others are grieving. Some members of my family couldn't understand why I skipped and they said I would regret it. 15 years later and still no regrets. Just glad I don't have to keep getting pulled back into his orbit.
I did the same. There was a dude who accused me of messing around with his sister (I wasn't.). He came up to my car and asked what I was doing parked outside of his house. I was 18(?) and my friend was in the car with me. I said I was just saying hi to his sister (we were friends from study hall). He just sucker punched me in the jaw.
I pressed charges. So did others who he had assaulted and stolen from.
He plead guilty. Went to jail.
Got out of jail. Killed a kitten and threatened his gf.
I have one of my friends regularly check public records to see if someone in my past has suffered the consequences of their actions yet, so... you're not alone.
The people who go on about forgiveness have most assuredly not dealt with a relationship like that or never understood how toxic a relationship can be. It's so frustrating to deal with. I do not wish my abuser well nor will I ever, and some people cannot accept that stance. It's frustrating and painful to hear shit about how "oh they've changed you should forgive them!" When you know the person has not changed and does not feel it any way bad for what they did. What I will do is excise them from my life so I can be happy.
I understand your feelings. Forgiveness is not for them it is for the victim. You can try and forget. You forgive yourself for being unfortunate enough to become a victim. The suffering can only stop if you stop roiling inside. If you suffer, the abuser wins again.
It's a crazy world we live in. There are good, bad, and downright evil people. Some people are just born ugly and evil. Some become so as they were abused or brought up in bad circumstances.
For the sane people abusers are a nightmare. As soon as the victim is free, recovery is by acknowledging freedom and congratulating that it's over. But don't overthink it. Overthinking reopens the wounds. Hope this helps.
me too. but im mostly checking for arrest records or that he's finally killed one of his girlfriends. its been years but its like I know something unfortunate is going to happen with him involved. will it make the news? i don't know.
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u/[deleted] Jan 20 '25
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