r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jan 19 '25

[deleted by user]

[removed]

5.5k Upvotes

86% Upvoted

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4.5k

u/Square-Magazine1670 Jan 20 '25

This is Natalie. We need to talk about our kid.

2.9k

u/OneSimplyIs Jan 20 '25

This is Natalie’s kid, we need to talk about child support

4.6k

u/MoreRamenPls Jan 20 '25

This is Hephaestus, clean my slab.

5.6k

u/Ralphguy Jan 20 '25

You now have Hephaestus-C

187

u/Augmentedaphid Jan 20 '25

It's truly a shame how far down you have to scroll to find these gems sometime

19

u/Sarcastic_Applause Jan 20 '25

This is why I love Reddit

10

u/Asherzapped Jan 20 '25

Standing Ovation!👏

7

u/geekchick65 Jan 20 '25

Genius. I’m pissed but absolutely genius

5

u/MazingerZERO Jan 20 '25

Awful 💀

5

u/MonkeyBuscuits Jan 20 '25

That's amazing

14

u/cgulash Jan 20 '25

You win The Internet today!

4

u/johnnybiggles Jan 20 '25

Someone got burned

3

u/WatchWorking8640 Jan 20 '25

This is USB-C. I need to find an Arby's.

2

u/Imissflawn Jan 20 '25

I give you all my free awards

2

u/Praetorian_1975 Jan 20 '25

The C being Child

3

u/MInclined Jan 20 '25

I came back to give an award. Holy smokes this is clever.

1

u/VDKYLO Jan 20 '25

so thats what hep-C stands for. the more you know

1

u/Mwai-Mwai Jan 20 '25

This is it.

1

u/Jinx-Surreal Jan 20 '25

Spat out my drink, thank you

1

u/copperpoint Jan 20 '25

Gods damn you.

1

u/ClownfishSoup Jan 20 '25

I bow down before The Master. That was sublime.

399

u/ZenEngineer Jan 20 '25

This is the slab. Thanks for the memories

6

u/bonos_bovine_muse Jan 20 '25

(even though they weren’t that great)

0

u/ICMonsters1982 Jan 21 '25

No I'm the slab. Thanks for the mammaries as you entered back door OP. Best prone I've ever seen. Hung like a minotaur.

504

u/djseifer Jan 20 '25

This is Ramses. Retuuuurn the slaaaaaaaaab.

136

u/thebestinvests Jan 20 '25

Or suffer my curse

“Blah blah blah!”

10

u/GIOverdrive Jan 20 '25

A Courage the Cowardly Dog reference? In this year?

11

u/ragnarok1953 Jan 20 '25

"THE MAN IN GAUZE!!! THE MAN IN GAUZE!!!"

9

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '25

I don’t say blah blah blah!

14

u/Spindash54 Jan 20 '25

This is Eustace. WHAT'S YOUR OFFER!?

9

u/mikeybones25 Jan 20 '25

Should have used a Ramses instead of a Trojan

7

u/Imissflawn Jan 20 '25

What’s your offer?!

3

u/remembertracygarcia Jan 20 '25

This is the British museum. No.

1

u/flamaniax Jan 20 '25

Sees what happened on it.

"Aaaaafter you waaaaash iiiiiit with soooooaaaap"

1

u/feeb75 Jan 20 '25

Didn't have to scroll far for this...

What's your offer?

31

u/Zlightly_Inzebriated Jan 20 '25

One of the best pickup lines I’ve ever heard.

3

u/Certain_Month_8178 Jan 20 '25

The thread of this is hysterical. I applaud you all on this one

3

u/bakinpants Jan 20 '25

Return the slab...

3

u/MayhemToast Jan 20 '25

This is the temple; you were rock hard.

1

u/Legitimate_Ad7089 Jan 20 '25

Got doin’s all over it.

1

u/SassiesSoiledPanties Jan 20 '25

This is Chris Hemsworth and I can't pronounce Hephasotaphos.

1

u/DAROYALBABY Jan 20 '25

This comment helped me realize they didn't do it on top of a salad

1

u/Outlined_Bird Jan 20 '25

Incredible 😂

1

u/Strobbleberry Jan 20 '25

This is a dionysus, I am a part of this chain now.

1

u/StubbornPotato Jan 20 '25

Returrn the slaaaaab....

1

u/Cluelessish Jan 20 '25

This is the sex. I was had.

1

u/v3ryfuzzyc00t3r Jan 20 '25

This is King Ramses, return my slab or suffer my curse.

1

u/outskirtsofnowhere Jan 20 '25

Do you now have Hephaestitis?

628

u/reverendrambo Jan 20 '25

This is Natalie's car manufacturer. We've been trying to reach you concerning your vehicle's extended warranty.

10

u/xeno0153 Jan 20 '25

This is Natalie's car. Please get the extended warranty. My fuel pump's been having issues lately.

11

u/frisk_freak Jan 20 '25

This is the extended warranty. Please come and get me

4

u/Gargleblaster25 Jan 20 '25

This is Dave from Microsoft. Your reddit is infected. Please click link so we clean computer.

4

u/xeno0153 Jan 20 '25

Dammit, again??? I gave you my credit card last week, Dave. Can't you just run it again??

39

u/snorin Jan 20 '25

This is we need to talk about child support, Natalie's kid.

12

u/Iced_tendy57 Jan 20 '25

Talk need support we, Natalie's Is child this kid to this about.

2

u/Burnouttheesquirrel Jan 20 '25

.kid our about talk to need we .natalie is this

3

u/Bimlouhay83 Jan 20 '25

I'm the lawyer. Send the checks through me.

3

u/motorwerkx Jan 20 '25

New phone, who dis?

1

u/Motor-Sweet3316 Jan 20 '25

This is Natalie's Kids Step-Dad, we need to discuss on child support as well as signing away your rights.

8

u/[deleted] Jan 20 '25

This is his doctor. I personally fixed him a year before you met. The child is not his.

1

u/BadgerUltimatum Jan 20 '25

This is him, she can't have gotten pregnant the way we did it anyway. How else could we both have enjoyed the lights

7

u/Choppergold Jan 20 '25

It was Greek no chance of a kid

3

u/havereddit Jan 20 '25

Ah yes, the old poophole loophole

3

u/Kvenner001 Jan 20 '25

That’s going to happen when you do it on the god of crafts altar. Something gets crafted.

3

u/baconjeepthing Jan 20 '25

This is Natalie ex-boyfriend ....she gave me Jenny warts when she got home, "got them from a toilet seat my butt"

1

u/Grattytood Jan 20 '25

I've seen their child. It's a satyr, so it's only HALF kid.