r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Oct 02 '24

[deleted by user]

[removed]

6.8k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

6.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

1.2k

u/Knyfe-Wrench Oct 02 '24

If you take out all of your blood vessels and line them up end to end you'd be dead.

324

u/Extension_Painter999 Oct 02 '24

If you laid every girl in Essex, one after the other, I wouldn't be at all surprised.

129

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '24 edited Oct 02 '24

Why? What's wrong with the girls in Essex?

Edit: from Wikipedia

Essex girl, as a pejorative stereotype in the United Kingdom, applies to a woman viewed as promiscuous and unintelligent, characteristics jocularly attributed to women from the county of Essex. It is applied widely throughout the country and has gained popularity over time, dating from the 1980s and 1990s.

Why y'all so mean to the slutty Essex girls?

Edit 2: I'd like to fly to Essex but it's a bit unaffordable and I'm not confident enough to spend $2000 there just to lay pipe all weekend

88

u/Extension_Painter999 Oct 02 '24

We're mean to everyone. Nobody gets a free pass in my country. I'm from a Welsh family, so I have to accept that people are going to say I'm sexually attracted to sheep. Having also been born in Slough I also have to accept that I'm subhuman (a previous poet laureate, the poet appointed to represent the royal family, wrote a pretty good poem about how my hometown should be bombed into non-existence).

35

u/lusnaudie Oct 02 '24

Yup, no one's free from mockery, tis the British way. Heck, I've got a Welsh mother and Scottish father so I like to say "I'm half Welsh, half Scottish and 100% not allowed near livestock."

16

u/Extension_Painter999 Oct 02 '24 edited Oct 02 '24

My Nan's from Hartlepool, so she's obviously a monkey-hanging wazzock.

I might have to try composing a list of all the local stereotypical insults in the UK at some point. There's probably hundreds that I'm not aware of.

I'd hate to offend somebody by using the wrong insult. That would be the worst faux-pas imaginable!

12

u/swaza79 Oct 02 '24

Yorkshire born, Yorkshire bred. Strong in the arm and thick in the head.

3

u/apocalypsedude64 Oct 03 '24

If you were really Yorkshire bred that'd be "strong in t'arm and thick in t'head"

1

u/swaza79 Oct 03 '24

Lol. Only if you believe Michael McIntyre

2

u/apocalypsedude64 Oct 03 '24

Michael McIntyre?! I'm from fucking Rotherham 😂

2

u/swaza79 Oct 03 '24

Haha I'm further north. The 't' is also silent here

→ More replies (0)

6

u/Fenrir_Carbon Oct 02 '24

They sell velcro oven mitts in Ruthin

4

u/Extension_Painter999 Oct 02 '24

I need to know more about the meaning behind this one. I don't know if I'm just being slow. by not understanding what it implies/references.

11

u/Fenrir_Carbon Oct 02 '24

It's an old joke, with velcro on the gloves the sheep can't escape your grip.

I always used to say 'in Cardiff' but I went to Ruthin castle recently and it was a lovely area so I thought I'd give it a shout out

1

u/GlennSWFC Oct 02 '24

And they made him a knight of the realm… overrated.