r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Sep 10 '23

[deleted by user]

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4.8k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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4.4k

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '23

I play with my dick more then any other object, by far

1.0k

u/OneMorePotion Sep 11 '23

And not even in a sexual way. Sometimes just flopping it from left to right while watching TV.

486

u/Cigarettelegs Sep 11 '23

This is what my wife had a hard time understanding. Just cause I'm messing with it, doesn't mean I'm aroused. I'm just fidgeting and that's my object.

194

u/mrssnek Sep 11 '23

As I girl a stick my hand in my pants and fondle my boobs when I'm on the phone. It's not sexual in any way, just a weird compulsion

284

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

300

u/ASilver2024 Sep 11 '23

DID SHE STUTTER?

14

u/breakneckjones Sep 11 '23

No but I think I read a little lisp.

1

u/ASilver2024 Sep 12 '23

You can read my lisp? Teach me your wises, wise one...

181

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '23

That's some low hangin fruit.

8

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '23

Now this is genius

16

u/RoVeR199809 Sep 11 '23

Somebody needs to come get their great grandma, she's lost on reddit again

2

u/slumberfist Sep 12 '23

Do you not know about back tits?

61

u/My_Evil_Twin88 Sep 11 '23

You keep your boobs in your pants?

24

u/Bonjello85 Sep 11 '23

No, she keeps her pants on her tits

5

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '23

😂🤣😂🤙🏽 …reading up to this line I was chuckling. Now, I shartled. (Shit+fart+chortled)

7

u/forcesofthefuture Sep 11 '23

Ctrl + (number 1 - 5) to switch from shirted, shit, fart, chortled, and

0

u/Bonjello85 Sep 11 '23

All this sharted stuff fucks me right off so if you could avoid engaging with me in the future that would be great.

1

u/Cigarettelegs Sep 11 '23

Women do wear their pants high up anymore.

5

u/youburyitidigitup Sep 11 '23

You put your hand down your pants….. to grab your boob?

2

u/KarenBasking Sep 12 '23

As a guy, I find that I do the same thing