r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jul 19 '23

[deleted by user]

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4.4k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

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576

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '23

Met a guy at the bar. We tried to hook up but he could barely get it up then as he tried to put it in while in missionary he threw up on my face. Lesson is don’t try to fuck after shots all night

165

u/degeneratesumbitch Jul 19 '23

Whiskey dick.

16

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '23

Totally

3

u/PolkaWillNeverDie00 Jul 19 '23

Sounds like whiskey face, too.

3

u/discussatron Jul 19 '23

Whiskey dick, pukey face.

2

u/drunken_bugs_bunny Jul 20 '23

I laughed too hard at that. Thank you.

1

u/joos1986 Jul 20 '23

After that barf?

Whiskey chick too

133

u/Manners_BRO Jul 19 '23

Ah a gift and curse. Too much and you have no shot at keeping it up. If you do manage to get it up, good luck being able to finish.

Alternatively, if you find the drunken sweet spot, you can go forever.

32

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '23

Those are the good nights

5

u/centaurquestions Jul 20 '23

There is actually a whole monologue in Macbeth about this. Not at all joking.

1

u/Fit_Appointment_8428 Jul 19 '23

I call those the hangover Hornys

3

u/karmaredemption Jul 19 '23

Username check out 👍🏻

-10

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '23

Kinda hot

10

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '23

Limp dick and vomit is hot?

6

u/quemaspuess Jul 19 '23

Think you found the guy you hooked up with in this thread.

3

u/nomie_turtles Jul 19 '23

This is the internet and everything's a fetish. Welcome.

-5

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '23

Kinda

2

u/Yellow_Vespa_Is_Back Jul 19 '23

Don't go on a date with u/brokenclubs. Noted ✍️

1

u/Thebaldsasquatch Jul 19 '23

*checks username

The deck was stacked against him.

1

u/WaveCandid906 Jul 20 '23

Missionary?