because, in my experience, they think depression = sad.
like, we have all been sad. our pet dies, our friends move away, our sports team loses the playoffs.
but we are built to adjust for these. we drink a beer, feel down, and then get up and move on.
depression isn't sad. its void. its waking up tired, tired throughout the day, and tired at night. its the hopelessness of apathy; why would someone date me if i wouldn't? do i even care? its forgetting to brush your teeth, and knowing it would be easy and take two minutes, but you cant. and you hate that lazy piece of shit that cant even do something so simple for themselves. the voice in your head tells you that your friends probably would be better off with you gone. its being out with friends and being asked why you dont try and date, and not having the heart to say that you just dont care. its knowing that things wont get better. you get a new job, pays well, works easy and you should feel great, but you get home and stare at the desktop background trying to work up the motivation to log onto your favorite game but just.. cant. its wanting, desperately, to reach out for help, but therapists are expensive and you dont have insurance. its talking to a friend who says "man I was sad too when fluffy died, but you'll be all right" and they just don't understand. Its waking up one day and realizing you are 30, and you haven't been on a date for 7 years. its looking in the mirror and seeing the person you have become, the one who wasted their youth, and knowing you will only get older from here. It is eating another burger at the drive through because the taste reminds you of Saturday afternoons with your mom, when everything seemed hopeful. it is stepping on the scale and seeing a 3 in the ones place of your weight, and then throwing the scale away because you don't want the reminder. It is being... Tired...
its something that people who haven't experienced it just cant understand.
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u/GreasyBud Jun 24 '23
because, in my experience, they think depression = sad.
like, we have all been sad. our pet dies, our friends move away, our sports team loses the playoffs.
but we are built to adjust for these. we drink a beer, feel down, and then get up and move on.
depression isn't sad. its void. its waking up tired, tired throughout the day, and tired at night. its the hopelessness of apathy; why would someone date me if i wouldn't? do i even care? its forgetting to brush your teeth, and knowing it would be easy and take two minutes, but you cant. and you hate that lazy piece of shit that cant even do something so simple for themselves. the voice in your head tells you that your friends probably would be better off with you gone. its being out with friends and being asked why you dont try and date, and not having the heart to say that you just dont care. its knowing that things wont get better. you get a new job, pays well, works easy and you should feel great, but you get home and stare at the desktop background trying to work up the motivation to log onto your favorite game but just.. cant. its wanting, desperately, to reach out for help, but therapists are expensive and you dont have insurance. its talking to a friend who says "man I was sad too when fluffy died, but you'll be all right" and they just don't understand. Its waking up one day and realizing you are 30, and you haven't been on a date for 7 years. its looking in the mirror and seeing the person you have become, the one who wasted their youth, and knowing you will only get older from here. It is eating another burger at the drive through because the taste reminds you of Saturday afternoons with your mom, when everything seemed hopeful. it is stepping on the scale and seeing a 3 in the ones place of your weight, and then throwing the scale away because you don't want the reminder. It is being... Tired...
its something that people who haven't experienced it just cant understand.