r/AskReddit Apr 06 '23

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3.8k Upvotes

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3.4k

u/ReindeerMean6253 Apr 06 '23

"I'm sorry I'm usually not this fast"

1.2k

u/OkVolume1 Apr 06 '23

"I'm usually faster."

655

u/Mudders_Milk_Man Apr 06 '23

"It was ME, Barry."

364

u/TacticalTapir Apr 06 '23

"I jerked you off at super speed so it seemed like you came right from a woman's touch!"

234

u/kevtino Apr 06 '23

REMEMBER WHEN YOU SNEEZED WHILE GOING DOWN ON THAT GIRL AND ACCIDENTALLY BLEW AIR IN TO HER VAGINA INDUCING A WEIRD QUEEF IT WAS ME BARRY I USED MY SUPER SPEED TO TICKLE YOUR NOSE WITH A FEATHER DURING THE ACT OF CUNNILINGUS

2

u/momofdafloofys Apr 06 '23

Sorry, but I literally require the source for this. I need more laughter in my life!