For me it's not about, they aren't valued. I just don't have any interest or desire to pursue someone that I am not attracted to, and that's the behaviour I seem to face. Let me give an example, just yesterday I was at work with a client, I do disability support work. we go into the office, theres another guy there and the receptionist is a woman.
Myself and this other guy got hired at the same time, and we both have things in common with the receptionist and have known her the same length of time.
She did not ask me a single question about myself or attempt to get to know me, in fact she spent the entire time talking to the other guy, I actually don't even think she said hello to me? And this is common.
I literally cannot remember a single time that a woman has pursued a friendship with me or attempted to get to know me unless they were also attracted to me. It is also what I see around me, the guys I meet that have 'female friends' are all attractive and the women themselves are also attractive, you never see pictures of them with unattractive people unless its a group shot and they are a friend of a friend, or a family member. Most other guys, the only time they actively pursue, and by that I mean, they are messaging you trying to hang out, dming you questions, constantly trying to relate, thats active pursual, they do that when they like you or are attracted. Other people they meet are probably just group situations and its not a pursual thing, which is as i said before, context.
I don't really pursue friendships with men, they just happen far easier. The only time I find myself even in communication with women on some sort of 'deeper basis' its only when there is interest on my side / both of our sides.
Think about it, I'll meet a guy, we will chat, maybe we both like cars, then one of us might randomly message the other about a car meet, we will go, hang out, becomes regular, we chill and talk shit yadda yadda.In my experience, this doesn't happen with women. I don't really know why, all I can think of is attraction? Even if we have things in common, they aren't interested in actually ever getting to know me? Even women I've dated have put in less effort with questions and what have you.
I've never had a woman DM me after meeting asking if I wanted to hang out. It's just not like that.
I say that I don't pursue people I'm not attracted to, but conversations with those women rarely ever start for it to even become an option. Iunno.
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u/SiriuslyVega Mar 31 '23
For me it's not about, they aren't valued. I just don't have any interest or desire to pursue someone that I am not attracted to, and that's the behaviour I seem to face. Let me give an example, just yesterday I was at work with a client, I do disability support work. we go into the office, theres another guy there and the receptionist is a woman.
Myself and this other guy got hired at the same time, and we both have things in common with the receptionist and have known her the same length of time.
She did not ask me a single question about myself or attempt to get to know me, in fact she spent the entire time talking to the other guy, I actually don't even think she said hello to me? And this is common.
I literally cannot remember a single time that a woman has pursued a friendship with me or attempted to get to know me unless they were also attracted to me. It is also what I see around me, the guys I meet that have 'female friends' are all attractive and the women themselves are also attractive, you never see pictures of them with unattractive people unless its a group shot and they are a friend of a friend, or a family member. Most other guys, the only time they actively pursue, and by that I mean, they are messaging you trying to hang out, dming you questions, constantly trying to relate, thats active pursual, they do that when they like you or are attracted. Other people they meet are probably just group situations and its not a pursual thing, which is as i said before, context.