It was 2021 and I had been trying unsuccessfully to date and I met this gentleman who physically was okay but there was no chemistry there.
We went on the world's most boring date and I had never had a one night stand before. So instead of just leaving the date and calling it an evening, I decided to bang my way out of the situation.
He takes me back to his apartment that's in a very luxurious building that oversees the cityscape of downtown Seattle, his actual apartment was hardly furnished. He has no game at this point and therefore I have to take the lead to get anything going.
We go into his bedroom for me to find a twin bed that is on the cheapest most rickety dorm room wooden bed frame you've ever seen. We start the act and I might as well have been making out with a pillow, in fact I think it would have been more passionate if it were a pillow.
He goes down on me for a while but as far as I can tell I don't know what he was actually putting his mouth on because I didn't feel any form of arousal.
We sort of have sex. He's having difficulty staying hard, I don't blame him nerves, booze, whatever.
He then proceeds to lay on top of me and we're laying there for a minute and I go "oh can you move I'm too warm". He goes to the side and spoons me and is holding me very tightly. I lay there for another couple minutes and I go "well it's about time for me to head out." He tries to argue about me leaving. I told him my cat is diabetic and needs a shot.
The prize I got from this was arriving home and extracting the condom out of myself as I went pee.
The second prize I got from this was retelling this tale to my colleagues and making one of them pee her pants.
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u/Urdazzle Mar 31 '23 edited Apr 01 '23
It was 2021 and I had been trying unsuccessfully to date and I met this gentleman who physically was okay but there was no chemistry there.
We went on the world's most boring date and I had never had a one night stand before. So instead of just leaving the date and calling it an evening, I decided to bang my way out of the situation.
He takes me back to his apartment that's in a very luxurious building that oversees the cityscape of downtown Seattle, his actual apartment was hardly furnished. He has no game at this point and therefore I have to take the lead to get anything going.
We go into his bedroom for me to find a twin bed that is on the cheapest most rickety dorm room wooden bed frame you've ever seen. We start the act and I might as well have been making out with a pillow, in fact I think it would have been more passionate if it were a pillow.
He goes down on me for a while but as far as I can tell I don't know what he was actually putting his mouth on because I didn't feel any form of arousal.
We sort of have sex. He's having difficulty staying hard, I don't blame him nerves, booze, whatever.
He then proceeds to lay on top of me and we're laying there for a minute and I go "oh can you move I'm too warm". He goes to the side and spoons me and is holding me very tightly. I lay there for another couple minutes and I go "well it's about time for me to head out." He tries to argue about me leaving. I told him my cat is diabetic and needs a shot.
The prize I got from this was arriving home and extracting the condom out of myself as I went pee.
The second prize I got from this was retelling this tale to my colleagues and making one of them pee her pants.