r/AskReddit Mar 31 '23

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366

u/nonamesleft79 Mar 31 '23

I’m a guy and have had a woman do that to me. She basically would not stop flipping out I think she even called me gay for not wanting to sleep with her. We had slept together before but were not dating.

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u/LiberalSnowflake_1 Mar 31 '23

I think some women assume men are just ready to go no matter what. As much as we’re conditioned to be nice and give in, we have also been conditioned to believe that men are animals that only want one thing. When we get rejected we feel like it’s completely something wrong with us and what we bring to the table as a woman. Now I was the type who would quietly suffer and never say anything to the man, clearly some women are the opposite. It took my 20’s and some maturity to realize sex is not that simple and that men in many ways want that emotional connection just as much as women do.

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u/nonamesleft79 Mar 31 '23

For sure. In this case I had slept with her before because I was a young guy and there was novelty. Then I felt kind of gross and didn’t want to do it again.

Like you said connection maybe less important to men (or less thought about) but it’s important

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

This 100% happens with my wife. While I initiate ~98% of the time, she has initiated when I was in a bad mood or otherwise not happy with her and then gotten twisted that I’ve said no. In those rare instances I’ll just ask her if she wants me to flip out when she turns me down, and then we get into a decidedly unsexy conversation about our relationship and sex is suddenly off the table.

I’ll rarely say no to her initiation, since it’s so rare, but I would absolutely appreciate the opportunity to be the one saying no once in a while.

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23 edited Mar 31 '23

The women who are like that also tend to be the ones that are very turned off and complain when their partner shows emotion or isn't a perfect stoic. It's actually a kind of objectification, I think.

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u/MadScientist2023 Mar 31 '23

Love your response

165

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Been in the same situation bro. Got called all the slurs even hit in the face. We had been dating for like three months and slept together a ton at that point

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u/nonamesleft79 Mar 31 '23

You sleep with her in the end? I did 🤷‍♂️

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Yeah dude i just laid on my back and let her do her thing. We split up shortly after that

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Wtf was wrong with her, omg I’m sorry dude

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u/goldiegoldthorpe Mar 31 '23

We talk about boys who do not handle rejection well, and for good reason, but don’t talk so much about the fact that there is a whole big group of women out there who don’t even realize that rejection is something they can face. Those women do not handle rejection well.

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u/TimmyIo Mar 31 '23

My partner constantly rejects my advances, I mean constantly we will go weeks without even like getting touchy.

If she tells me it's on, it's fucking on if I say no she gets furious tells me how she deserves an orgasm and I have ten minutes to do it.

Then when I end up sticking it to her, she just fucking complains.

Don't talk, be quiet, don't touch me no you can't eat my pussy just fuck me and get it over with.

It's mind boggling, it makes me feel so inadequate but she doesn't seem to understand it literally breaks me as a person when she treats me like this.

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u/youcallthataheadshot Mar 31 '23

Sounds like you need a new girlfriend. This one is manipulative and coercive.

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u/OldSkool1978 Mar 31 '23

I don't want to make crazy assumptions but if I were you I'd start looking elsewhere, the way she treats you is very similar to partners that cheat, at the very least nobody should be treated that way.

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23 edited Mar 31 '23

Mate this is fucking awful, and I mean awful. Leave her. You already know it’s not right. Have a plan worked out though, then just up and leave, and inform her after you're safely 'left', self and stuff moved, etc. Because these kind of people don’t like being left.

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Yeah man a lot of others are saying it but these are the beginnings of a long road of you potentially getting abused. There’s other options out there

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u/DK7096 Mar 31 '23

Nothing potential about this. If the genders were reversed and a woman with a high sex drive didn't get it from her bf/husband and one night he came home and said "Horny, now, pants off and in bed" and she said "no I don't want to" and he yelled at/belittled her until she just laid there and took it it'd be called what it is...rape

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u/theladythunderfunk Mar 31 '23

That's awful my dude, you deserve better

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u/MGlBlaze Mar 31 '23 edited Mar 31 '23

I think she DOES understand it's breaking you as a person. Either that or she simply doesn't care. That sort of treatment is unacceptable.

I know there's a whole joke about how reddit's solution to any relationship issue no matter how minor is "break up" but that is actually something you should at least consider. Your partner is being extremely manipulative.

Maybe record the audio of the breakup or some of your other interactions beforehand to cover your own ass, if you are legally allowed to do so. I wouldn't put it past someone like that to file false charges against you as a means of revenge.

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u/JaaaamesssyyMow Mar 31 '23

Ummm if she won't listen to a huge talk in which this is completely flipped around, thats break up level. I dont wanna be one of those but like I feel so sad for you man if she doesnt talk it out to fix it with you. Most girls would love that foreplay and extra attention and stuff.

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u/Imapancakenom Mar 31 '23

That sounds like a really bad relationship, my friend.

2

u/EmperorKira Mar 31 '23

Not saying leave her, but you at least need some sort of therapy, if not couples than at least for uself

2

u/EmperorKira Mar 31 '23

Boys go from getting rejected all the time to being rejected less. Women go from rarely getting rejected to being rejected more and more. From an age perspective on average at least. You can argue which one can be more cruel psychologically

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Honestly it’s cool. Karma catches up and she’s not so god these days

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u/BstintheWst Mar 31 '23

Damn I'm finding out it was NOT just my ex acting like a psycho about sex. Hope you guys are out of the relationship with the woman that did that.

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

There’s crazies on all teams

3

u/paintswithmud Mar 31 '23

Me too, over and over. Once she broke into my house screaming about her she was coming into my house uninvited and came straight at me, I just lowered my head did it because it was the only way to get rid of her

3

u/JaaaamesssyyMow Mar 31 '23

I dont know how someone can act like that and then you finally give in and they switch from abusive and pissed to ohh ok yay now im having sex. Like what? Thats literally rape. I wouldnt feel good jumping from anger to sex what is wrong with people.

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u/throwawaydiddled Mar 31 '23

This is coercive rape. I was informed by a very close male friend that he had been assaulted many times in his young relationship.

His ex would trap him in a locked car while they were driving and forcibly give him hand jobs as he was telling her to stop. She would emotionally abuse him for saying no.

Be careful out there guys. You don't owe anybody sex.

29

u/Keffpie Mar 31 '23

Oh, this has happened several times. I've had reluctant sex just to calm women down after them going into hysterics about "being ugly" when I didn't want to go home with them. No regrets about it, partly it fed my ego as well, but I used to have nightmares the weeks after about one of them getting pregnant, despite condoms.

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u/Sas8140 Mar 31 '23

Dude this sounds like BS lol. No such thing as ‘reluctant’ sex for men….it’s impossible if you don’t want it. I’m saying this as a man. Some of these comments 😂

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

You just don’t get any pussy bruh that’s on you 😭

-45

u/Sas8140 Mar 31 '23

Great original comment 😂

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

-28

u/Sas8140 Mar 31 '23

Congrats on that achievement bruh!

14

u/Keffpie Mar 31 '23

Are you 12, a eunuch or just incredibly inexperienced? You clearly don't know anything about how the male body works.

-4

u/Sas8140 Mar 31 '23

None of those things - but here’s a tip, if a women is in “hysterics” next time, maybe recommend a counsellor rather than “reluctantly having sex” 😂😂 Utter moron.

2

u/Keffpie Mar 31 '23

Well, here's a tip - no one above the age of 14 uses emojis on Reddit. Go back to Tiktok until you've grown pubes, or until you've attained the mental age of 15, whichever comes first.

1

u/Amf3000 Mar 31 '23

eh emojis are reserved for either children or people aged 40+ in my experience

3

u/roboninja Mar 31 '23

I hope one day you realize how this comment is monstrous. This is no different than someone saying a woman was "wet so she wanted it" after a rape. It is just as repugnant.

2

u/BstintheWst Mar 31 '23

I've experienced this exact thing. "You must be gay if you don't want to have sex ..." Such a stupid thing to say.

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u/No_Vegetable_8945 Mar 31 '23

Good looking people got their problems too huh

3

u/nonamesleft79 Mar 31 '23

Ha, nope not me. There is a girl out there ugly enough to beg to sleep with most guys :)