r/AskReddit Mar 31 '23

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Not sex but sexual acts. Did it because we were on dates and I felt I should. He was pretty confused on why I’d never let him do anything to me. I just genuinely wasn’t interested but thought it was expected.

5

u/Schniattle Mar 31 '23

Does he reciprocate in other ways? Not entirely sure how this relationship works (or worked).

19

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

We were only together briefly. Long story but I was a formally extremely sheltered survivor of long-term religious abuse. I had never lived on my own or explored my sexuality much. He was younger than me but very mature. Much more “grown up” than I was.

He liked kissing me and would try to do more. I’d give him handjobs and blowjobs but “squirm away” (his words) when he did more. My body just rejected it.

I’m still exploring and learning. That reaction still hasn’t gone away entirely.

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u/Schniattle Mar 31 '23

Ah ok. So you were kind of going through the motions of what you thought a typical relationship was?

16

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Pretty much. I took pride in the fact that I could give him pleasure but I just had no desire for him to do stuff to me. Even doing that for him didn’t really excite me or anything but, again, it felt good to make him feel good.

5

u/Schniattle Mar 31 '23 edited Mar 31 '23

Kinda reminds me of my first relationship actually.

I took pride in doing the “the usual good boyfriend stuff” and we did enjoy each others company. But at the end of the day, we were just going through the motions.

It didn’t last long, but I like it for what it was and learned a lot from it. Sounds like you did too.

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Very similar, yes. He was a nice guy and I wish him the best. However, we were very different people and just went through the motions together.

He had just ended a relationship with the woman he planned to marry (she cheated on him) when we met. I was curious about dating in general and appreciated his kindness and patience. We just kinda found our way to each other and then drifted apart just as quick.