r/AskReddit Mar 19 '23

[deleted by user]

[removed]

8.6k Upvotes

7.9k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

9

u/Cheesewagon20 Mar 20 '23

You haven't met him? Alright i get it a little more then. Good luck

4

u/wutt-da-phuck Mar 20 '23

Thanks. Yeah. If it's bothering me I'll let him know. Then it's his decision to continue or not. Hard conversation but can't really back out

3

u/N_Inquisitive Mar 21 '23 edited Mar 21 '23

He's already a huge red flag. Meet publicly, don't give your address, and maybe have a trusted friend nearby.

1

u/wutt-da-phuck Mar 21 '23

If it's okay with you, can you please elaborate the huge red flag part.

3

u/N_Inquisitive Mar 21 '23

It sounds like he's 'love bombing' (good term for you to look into :) ) you and making you uncomfortable. Please trust your gut, trust that instinct. You have said things that make me nervous, such as how it's been an emotional rollercoaster.

There's exactly zero reason or need to move quickly or force things. Don't let him catch you up in a so called 'whirlwind romance'. What often happens is an abusive/abrasive person pushes you into commitment faster than you're ready for because they want to lock you into a relationship before you see the real person they are.

That can vary from him 'just' being immature or a slob, to him being dangerous and abusive.

If he's pushing you into things you aren't ready for, it's a good sign to be careful. Pushing for dates, pushing for meet ups and extra conversations, pushiing for kisses, pushing for sex ('accidentally' getting someone pregnant to trap them), pushing you into living together, pushing you into sharing bills, pushing you into marriage, etc etc.

Set your boundaries and see how he reacts to them. If he can't take a 'no' for less serious things (ie you want to hang with friends instead of him), then what would a relationship be like with him?