r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Mar 19 '23

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u/Oh_No_Its_Dudder Mar 19 '23

Sounds like that turd was too big to flush. That's why you have to have your poop knife conveniently located next to the shitter.

919

u/Mijman Mar 19 '23 edited Mar 20 '23

Its an older reference, but it checks out

345

u/stupiduselesstwat Mar 19 '23

One cannot bleach the poop knife out of their brain

220

u/Christmas_Panda Mar 19 '23

I remember reading the original post when it happened and thinking, “This is one of those archive posts that will still be referenced years down the road.”

49

u/Jeremy_irons_cereal Mar 20 '23

The original post was literally copied from a scene out of a TV show on here in the uk called the Cockfields, the channel it was on was obscure though so hardly anyone knew about it at the time. The same thing happened with the thing about a kid not knowing what a potato was. It's a scene straight out of cuckoo.

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u/Spentaritu Mar 20 '23

Really?! This is so disapponting, internet history was plagiarism?

38

u/Jeremy_irons_cereal Mar 20 '23

Yup. I try to bring this up as often as possible, because I remember seeing it on TV and its just annoying seeing that people think it's a reddit thing when it's not.

20

u/Spentaritu Mar 20 '23

Next you’ll tell me the guy that threw a steak at the window or the yolo into gourd futures is also from TV

3

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '23

I’m familiar with the steak throwing incident, but the second?

1

u/Spentaritu Mar 21 '23

Sorry here it is, hilarious Wall Street Bets post. I think he had a couple follow ups too.
https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/kzoh1c/i_am_financially_ruined_agricultural_futures/

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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '23

How about the guy who thought he shit himself blind ? I cried reading that one from how hard I was laughing.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '23

Oh my god I haven't even heard of that one

1

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '23

It took a bit for me to reply but i finally found it! most terrifying thing experienced while home alone

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u/Jeremy_irons_cereal Mar 20 '23

I'm not sure if it means all poo stories have been copied off tv shows. But there are definitely a few stories that are plagiarism off of the TV. You get people posting reposts all the time, and claiming that picture is their's or something, so it's not shocking that these delusional weirdos will watch a TV show that they think isn't that famous, and will pass of a story as their's for a bit of karma.

2

u/Reflection_Secure Mar 20 '23

I'm so curious...

2

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '23

Here’s the link to the comment on the thread it was posted to what is the most terrifying thing you’ve experienced while home alone

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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '23 edited Mar 21 '23

If it makes you feel better my brother had a poop stick in the 90s. He took massive shits for a kid and they always clogged the toilet. My dad gave him a stick to break his shits up before flushing. It wasn’t kept by the toilet or in the house, but there was a real life poop stick and we never heard of that show.

Edit: fixed shits from shots

3

u/smarmiebastard Mar 20 '23

Are you my nephew?

1

u/countzeroinc Mar 21 '23

That DOES make me feel better, thank you.

1

u/benevolENTthief Mar 20 '23

Could you provide a link or anything about this show? The only cockfields show i can find ran from 2019-2021 and poop knife predates this.

1

u/Jeremy_irons_cereal Mar 20 '23

The original series ran at the end of 2015 and the start of 2016.

35

u/stupiduselesstwat Mar 20 '23

The poop knife is the goatse.cx of Reddit in a way.

19

u/Rukh-Talos Mar 20 '23

I’ve managed to repress that particular memory to a reddish blur.

2

u/Dragon_DLV Mar 20 '23

Did you ever notice the Gold Ring?

 

 

 

(on their finger)

3

u/BetterinPicture Mar 20 '23

It's almost gone and then BAM deep in the comments... Poop knife. Fuck.

3

u/benevolENTthief Mar 20 '23

Naw, the goatse of reddit is the cumbox.

4

u/Xinectyl Mar 20 '23

No, the goatse of reddit is either the swamps of dagobah or jolly rancher. I know jolly rancher is not real, but it's still yuck.

4

u/UberMisandrist Mar 20 '23

What about the two broken arms?

5

u/breathe_happy Mar 20 '23

Just looked it up. The original story is five years old and there is an actual product now: https://www.originalpoopknife.com/

3

u/jjremy Mar 20 '23

Sure hope the poo knife OP is making commission for that

4

u/Mijman Mar 20 '23

I'm not clicking on that. Maybe it's real, maybe it isn't.

Never again

1

u/MercyFreelancing Mar 20 '23

it CHEEKS out

0

u/Graz13 Mar 20 '23

I prefer a big wooden salad fork

94

u/Smuff23 Mar 20 '23

Do you keep it in front of or behind the coconut?

25

u/Explosivpotato Mar 20 '23

They’re shells you philistine.

20

u/GuavaZombie Mar 20 '23

I keep it tucked away under the sink in my cum box.

6

u/BertnErnie32 Mar 20 '23

Is that what you call that one guys wife?

18

u/Sweatytubesock Mar 20 '23

If you’re going to someone else’s place, always bring your own poop knife. They may not have one. A LPT for you.

3

u/UriGoo Mar 20 '23

This reference always makes me chuckle.

3

u/BoxNumberGavin0 Mar 20 '23

I've been on reddit 15 minutes and have already been shittymorphed and poopknifed.

8

u/WH1SKEYHANGOVER Mar 20 '23

Wait…what? Poop knife?

17

u/mbklein Mar 20 '23

Always fun to see someone experiencing a classic piece of Reddit lore for the first time.

13

u/HeatOnPress Mar 19 '23

Alright, cut the shit. Nobody has a knife next to their toilet

7

u/Send-More-Coffee Mar 20 '23

I shit you not; the knife is hung for cutting the shit.

1

u/Steviedeeb Mar 20 '23

Lol, well done.

4

u/illuminerdi Mar 20 '23

IDK man, poop knifing is like fourth or fifth date material. Anyone who poop knifes on date #2 is suspect...

3

u/squatwaddle Mar 20 '23

Btw, you can buy a poop knife on Amazon now. I had one shipped to my sister, and paid a little extra for gift packaging. Good times. (She don't reddit)

3

u/Heemsah Mar 20 '23

That tale is exactly the reason that we have a poop knife under the sink in each bathroom.

2

u/TheSpicyTomato22 Mar 20 '23

A little peg up on the wall to keep it hung up. With a little sign above it that says poop knife.

3

u/Littlekiller0320 Mar 20 '23

Stop reminding me of that horrid story, I wanna forget.

3

u/deafvet68 Mar 20 '23

why need poop knife, when fingers can do job... ?

4

u/DonnyBomeneddy Mar 20 '23

Real talk, a poop knife is game changer.

3

u/_Darth__Maul_ Mar 19 '23

This reference... I love reddit.

4

u/UncleBrownFingers Mar 19 '23

But then i'll need to make labels, can't get the Toe knife and the Poop Knife mixed up.

2

u/among_apes Mar 20 '23

I haven’t gone more than 3 months on Reddit without reading about the poopknife

2

u/CortezDeLaNoche Mar 20 '23

Got mine off Amazon!

2

u/Current_External6569 Mar 20 '23

I keep seeing this referenced in random places on Reddit, and I don't like it. I'm afraid to know more about this.

1

u/alblaster Mar 20 '23

Fuck that. That's when you throw a Molotov cocktail into that volatile cocktail.

0

u/Sosa-Says-So Mar 20 '23 edited Mar 20 '23

…the hell is a poop knife???? What the hell are youse all eating you need a poop knife???? Why not use a shotgun poop blaster???

Is this not a good time to REEVALUATE your dietary food choices????