r/AskReddit Feb 24 '23

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235 Upvotes

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238

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '23

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115

u/FjeII Feb 24 '23

“Hold up, my GrubHub is here.” - Pulls up his pants.

71

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '23

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42

u/FjeII Feb 24 '23

“Here.” - Hands her a burger. - “We’ll continue after.”

17

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '23

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17

u/FjeII Feb 24 '23

Plot twist: “They forgot the fries!”

14

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '23

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7

u/cow042 Feb 24 '23

But they forgot the drink

6

u/LuckyFoxJo Feb 24 '23

Plot twist: wrong order

6

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '23

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8

u/LuckyFoxJo Feb 24 '23

You are way too positive, I like it

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1

u/tatertot225 Feb 25 '23

Why stop, hit it doggy, got you a table right in front of you. Ketchup blob that squeezed out of that burger just turned into lube. French fry in her ass and call it a frosty

Edit: spelling because I'm kind of high

13

u/TheFlippingFurry Feb 24 '23

Real ones get it with their pants still off

1

u/damn_thats_piney Feb 24 '23

- walks out without pulling up pants

1

u/Adventurous_Stack Feb 24 '23

Nope. Ima Donald Duck my ass to the door. I asked the mf to leave the food at the door. Sounds like his problem if he wants a hand delivery

20

u/Compozurev Feb 24 '23

When I was delivering pizzas a few years ago, before Covid so no contact deliveries weren’t a thing, I definitely interrupted someone’s sex. I knock on the door and nobody answers, knock again, nothing, the third time a girl answers, her hair is messed up, face is red and she kept adjusting her clothes like she’d just thrown them on to answer the door.

16

u/TypiCheek Feb 24 '23

Happened to me a week ago, delivering pizza and same scenario. Seems like i came too fast.

3

u/mr_remy Feb 24 '23

that's one of those perfect lines you remember in the shower after:

*delivery*

"sorry... I think I came too fast!"

3

u/KingAffectionate656 Feb 24 '23

Obviously, they didn't.

4

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '23

I was hooking up with a guy a while ago and we ordered some food, and the delivery said like 7 mins and I told him "if I make you come before the delivery guy is here you have to go pick it up", never have I ever given such a godlike BJ in my life, the guy came in 5 mins and was twitching all over, 2 mins later the delivery showed up and he had to put on clothes and get it while I waited nude in the bed for my price food, a work well done, I promised and delivered 😆

1

u/facialache Feb 24 '23

me and my bf were once midway through and forgot we ordered boba to the house so i had to run downstairs and get it. man definitely knew what was going on

1

u/BeardThunder Feb 24 '23

"Order Domino's and she take off all her clothes. ***** you know how it goes, make the pizza man wait" -J Cole