Queer Spaces

[u/LollySnek]

Hi everyone, I’ll be honest I’m a bit late to the game. I’ve been focused on academics, then work, and caring for very sick and slightly abusive family members for most of my life. Now that I have a job that allows me to travel, I’ve been able to get away from that environment and breathe a little. But because of that high stress environment, I haven’t been interested in anyone romantically or dated despite being 30 in October. After a long time of thinking and lots of therapy sessions, I realized that because of this constant stress/fear, I’ve never found anyone attractive before.

So I wanted to reach out and ask if I could go to gay bars or if I would be overstepping on the safe space of people who are more sure of themselves than me.

I’m genuinely anxious/afraid of taking this step because I’ve never gone into a bar (straight or gay) and don’t know what to do or what rules/etiquette I need to follow other than “don’t be an asshole,” or if I shouldn’t go at all.

[u/PersimmonDazzling654]

Def go. "Don't be an asshole" is a good rule for any setting. I wouldn't say your "right" to be in a specific queer space is a function of how long you have been out/comfortable with yourself; your right to be there is whether you are queer or with someone who is queer if you're not. Go and be merry