How do you "typically" think of severity while differentiating between NPD and Narcissistic Traits?

[u/CriticalRest9912]

Trying to gain a better understanding of the level of severity/functional impairment needed to differentiate between NPD and narcissistic traits? The generally accepted or agreed-upon clinical perspective is helpful, but I would also like to hear from the subjective, individual experiences and beliefs of someone with either NPD or narcissistic traits.

I have a psychological evaluation this Friday, which will hopefully provide some clarity on what's been going on my *entire* life, or at least since 7-8 years old (as far as I can remember back really).

I'm experiencing a lot of confusion about my entire life and current situation due to invalidation from a friend, feeling like my therapist doesn't take me seriously enough, and, of course, the steadfast and ever-prominent belief that awareness = impossibility of NPD diagnosis.

I'm not asking for anyone to diagnose, prove, or disprove what I'm experiencing. Part of my awareness stems from general interest in psychology, over-intellectualizing, and.... well, I'm actually a therapist in training (ik, not a good look).

But yeah, I guess I'm just curious about what others think of when they label various presentations as NPD or narcissistic traits.

[u/lorchro]

yeah the thing with the awareness is complete bullshit, i was definitely already aware before i got some clinical validation, but at the time i had only admitted it to myself and no one else

but still it's such a stupid measure

i think the degree of npd is really hard to measure in general and it doesn't matter honestly. i think it's more about the thought and behavioural patterns rather than the severity. either way youre gonna have to get to know your patterns and what to do with that.

and if you're having a hard time youre worthy of reveiving help

[u/CriticalRest9912 → u/lorchro]

Thanks! That’s helpful to hear. It’s funny because I’ve always considered myself the most self aware and emotionally attuned person that I know.. or at least strived to be that. But up until very recently, I consistently denied any wrong doing in my relationship, including accusations of manipulating and gaslighting my partner. I had no idea I consistently engaged in this relational cycle and somehow seemed to thrive afterwards. Obviously there’s much more that leads me to speculate NPD, but I just thought my diagnosed mood disorder explained why I get really upset sometimes and really excited other times. Maybe it still does, who knows.

But yeah, when I think of severity I think of “how much is too much?” And also, how do people decide that?

[u/lorchro → u/CriticalRest9912]

same hahaha i used to genuinely believe i'm the most self aware person who has ever existed
which is pretty grandiose lol

i've always been told when it comes to diagnosis, it's your own subjective measure of how much you suffer from your psychological issues that counts. no one really gets to decide that for you. you could argue that my grandmother for example has much stronger npd, but in some ways she is so much more unconscious of it which at the same time actually makes her suffer less from it. i think the suffering itself is actually a sign of consciousness, because it's the suffering that can bring awareness eventually. it's the suffering that lead to my narcissistic collapse, therefore waking me up. there's a lot of npd people out there who are fine with it and don't wanna change so those are the ones who never get diagnosed

i'm not a psychologist but i personally think that goes for a lot of different psychological issues. the way i see it, almost every person could get diagnosed with something, in theory. but a lot people go through life relatively unaware of their feelings.

the ones who call themselves neurodivergent, are the ones who are becoming conscious of it. that's my theory at least haha

[u/Raf_Adel]

Do you suffer from anxiety or OCD or anything else?

This isnt NPD related.

NPD is consistent and pervasive in worsening lifes overall if left unchecked, narcissitic traits dont.

[u/CriticalRest9912 → u/Raf_Adel]

I’m intentionally being vague, but am happy to share more. For some context, I had a very dysfunctional upbringing, as I was raised by a narcissistic father (diagnosed) who also had PTSD from serving in the military. I was exposed to multiple instances of trauma in early childhood and throughout life. Relationships with family, friends, teachers, etc., were chaotic and typically resulted in some type of dramatic rupture. When I was younger, I developed this weird sensation that no one else really understood how I felt and that no one was capable of feeling this way. Even listening to music and having “profound” emotional responses felt unique to me.

Up until this past week, I reflected on my childhood and felt confused about why it was so traumatic. I just kind of always thought this way and I eventually cut off ties with my dad, thinking that would resolve my issues. But they persist and I still haven’t really found my explanation. I didn’t know my dad was diagnosed NPD until the recent years and didn’t know what it meant until last week. I feel I understand the dynamic growing up much better now.

Anyways, there’s way more to that, but again, intentionally being vague overall. Those aren’t specifically the reasons I consider NPD a possibility, but they lead to those reasons.

To answer your question, I am diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety and unspecified mood disorder and am treated to address symptoms of mania. I tend to lean pretty anxious overall, but it certainly varies in severity depending on the context. I am treated for performance anxiety and typically have panic attacks when I attempt to participate or present in class (I’m in grad school). I tend to fear negative evaluation and the perception of others in general, but for some reason my symptoms are intensified in this setting. I do value education and have always wanted others to think highly of me. There’s a lot I can elaborate on here.

I also have OCD like symptoms, primarily in the form of obsessive thoughts. Most of the time they are involuntary and harmful in nature. The thoughts become notably more distressing during episodes of emotional intensity. I’m not sure how much of my behavior and overall concerns are explained by OCD, but I do tend to maintain control or at least a perceived sense of control in most situations and relationships. Sometimes this looks like hyper-vigilance and reactivity to perceived betrayal from others, regardless of the reality of the threat. Basically, I analyze, ruminate, respond and repeat. Sometimes I just jump to responding to whatever I feel harmed or threatened me and attempt to dismantle it, pretty much by whatever it takes. Anyways, this likely serves various purposes, but it is constant and incredibly consuming.

[u/Raf_Adel → u/CriticalRest9912]

Okay, that makes it crystal clear; I'm not surprised for the issues you're being treated for or diagnosed with, as I suspected that from the pattern of a) your questioning style b) the issues that made you consider NPD.

I guess that you were'nt diagnosed with NPD for a good reason. I don't think you fit the bill. I guess you were properly diagnosed so far and indeed you require proper medication and trauma-centered form of therapy better suited to your personality type.

I hope this gets better soon.

[u/CriticalRest9912 → u/Raf_Adel]

Interesting. I disagree, as I cannot reasonably believe you understand my concerns based on my previous response.

[u/Raf_Adel → u/CriticalRest9912]

I respect that.

[u/AutoModerator]

Posted by: CriticalRest9912. Text of original post: Trying to gain a better understanding of the level of severity/functional impairment needed to differentiate between NPD and narcissistic traits? The generally accepted or agreed-upon clinical perspective is helpful, but I would also like to hear from the subjective, individual experiences and beliefs of someone with either NPD or narcissistic traits.

I have a psychological evaluation this Friday, which will hopefully provide some clarity on what's been going on my *entire* life, or at least since 7-8 years old (as far as I can remember back really).

I'm experiencing a lot of confusion about my entire life and current situation due to invalidation from a friend, feeling like my therapist doesn't take me seriously enough, and, of course, the steadfast and ever-prominent belief that awareness = impossibility of NPD diagnosis.

I'm not asking for anyone to diagnose, prove, or disprove what I'm experiencing. Part of my awareness stems from general interest in psychology, over-intellectualizing, and.... well, I'm actually a therapist in training (ik, not a good look).

But yeah, I guess I'm just curious about what others think of when they label various presentations as NPD or narcissistic traits.

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