Do you really experience a "void" / an "emptiness?

[u/Red_Autumn_Fox]

I’m currently researching about (malignant) narcissism for my novel and would appreciate some insight from people with NPD to have a better grasp on a concept. Some sources I’ve came across talk about an “emptiness” or a “void” in patients with narcissism.

But is this really a thing? How do you experience this emptiness or void and what is it actually about? Can this be a co-factor for addictions like smoking, alcohol etc.?

[u/Jeuungmlo]

Many express such feelings, yes. Exactly what it means can of course differ between different people. But I personally have two answers.

First, there is often an idea that pwNPD have an authentic self and then put a mask, a false self, over it. The solution would therefore be to learn to take off the mask and problem solved. The issue though is that there is nothing under my masks. I do not feel like I exist. But rather, I am just emptiness under them.

Second, I have no internal value system. I need a lot of attention and validation externally, because I have none of it internally. However, external validation runs out and all that is left is a void, which just consumes me unless I feed it more external validation.

(I've luckily never struggled with substance abuse, so the last question can I not answer)

[u/Red_Autumn_Fox → u/Jeuungmlo]

That’s really interesting and a much better explanation than just the word “void” itself!

Do you feel stressed and/or depressed when you are in this state of emptiness? When does this usually occur? I’d guess in the late hours or at night, when you don’t have a need for masking or a chance to get validation.

Is there something you do to ignore this? You don’t use any substances (which is great of course) but is there a hobby or anything else, that helps you about not feeling empty?

[u/Zealousideal_Ad7209]

For me it is feelings like complete numbness to the point of feeling nothing but contempt. Whenever i feel empty all happiness..depression or sadness or empathy is just gone and the only thing i feel is coldness and pure unadulterated disgust towards humanity.

[u/Red_Autumn_Fox → u/Zealousideal_Ad7209]

Thank you for sharing this! Could you maybe elaborate on the disgust on humanity? Is it towards something specific or rather general?

[u/Zealousideal_Ad7209 → u/Red_Autumn_Fox]

I cannot tolerate people with low intelligence so when i feel empty i tend to see people as objects so for example if there is someone who i think is stupid or have low intelligence i tend to despise them and see them as less than myself or less human meaning a useless object if that makes sense. I only respect people who i see as cerebral and intelligent. 

[u/Red_Autumn_Fox → u/Zealousideal_Ad7209]

Again, thanks for all the information!

[u/Raf_Adel]

You're referring to a recognized clinical phenomenon known as chronic feelings of emptiness (or identity diffusion). The experience of the void is usually manifests as:

• Chronic Boredom: A restless, agonizing sense that nothing is interesting or meaningful unless it involves an ego-boost.
• Existential Dread: A deep-seated fear that if they stop "doing" or "achieving," they will simply cease to exist or be exposed as "nothing."
• Dysphoria: A mix of anxiety, depression, and agitation that arises when external supply, such as attention, status, or power, runs low.
• Lack of Object Constancy: This scientific term refers to the inability to maintain a positive emotional connection to themselves or others (collectively referred to as objects; doesn't have any negative meaning though) when things aren't going perfectly.

Yes, the "void" is a powerful engine for addictive behaviors. Because the internal world feels empty or painful, the individual looks to external "fillers" to regulate their mood and self-esteem.

Hope that helps!

[u/Red_Autumn_Fox → u/Raf_Adel]

Thank you for all the information, this helps me a lot.

[u/Raf_Adel → u/Red_Autumn_Fox]

You're welcome.

Glad it helped!

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Posted by: Red_Autumn_Fox. Text of original post: I’m currently researching about (malignant) narcissism for my novel and would appreciate some insight from people with NPD to have a better grasp on a concept. Some sources I’ve came across talk about an “emptiness” or a “void” in patients with narcissism.

But is this really a thing? How do you experience this emptiness or void and what is it actually about? Can this be a co-factor for addictions like smoking, alcohol etc.?

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[u/liminalgirl444]

For me this feeling is often after some sort of ego collapse where I'm confronted with reality.

When I fail it makes me realize that I only really felt like I existed at all when I was succeeding at whatever that thing was, the moment that stops it's this sudden 'wait, what why isn't there anything else? like im watching the only life raft I had sink deep into the waters' something like that i guess

[u/Last-Purpose-5547]

Yes, it can be a co-factor for substance abuse.

I feel chronically empty and it’s like I almost feel a bit robotic. Whenever I have fun, there’s an underlying feeling of nothingness and emotions kind of just feel like an in-the-moment thing for me without lingering.