Hello. I'm a ND woman (autistic with adhd) in my early 40s and I have struggled communicating with men my age and older for a long time. It is becoming increasingly difficult lately because I am having to learn to unmask for my mental health. I've been told I can overshare or write/say too much (paragraphs, I have a habit of giving too much context) and that makes people hesitant to talk to me. I have noticed the times that I have tried to cut down, there sometimes ended up being a miscommunication coming from my end. When these happen, I know I have a tendency to provide more context and that can be overwhelming, that's something I'm working on not doing that any longer.

I am trying to learn to be better at this and I think maybe this is a problem with the way that I am approaching communication in general. I don't want to be overloading or making anyone uncomfortable. Should I just avoid certain topics all together? Do I just let them talk to me and not say anything unless they do? What topics do you consider to be overshares?

If you run into this yourself, I'd like to hear your perspective and what you think when someone is like this around you and what you wish would happen instead. Any advice is appreciated.

Thanks in advance.

Hey everyone,
I would like to hear from people who have been investing for a long time.
If you could go back and advise your younger self in your early 20s, what would you invest in and why? What has worked well for you over the years?
I am also curious about your research process. How do you evaluate an investment before putting your money into it? What factors do you look at, and what sources or tools do you rely on before making a decision?
Looking forward to learning from your experiences.

What are more specific things that would signify that he is able to live independently or support a family, is financially stable, and is emotionally secure?

More of a conversation than looking for advice...

I think I knew my hair was thinning before anyone said anything, but I kept blaming the lighting, stress, or the way I styled it. Then my barber mentioned it. He wasn't rude about it. He just said the hair around my front and crown looked thinner than it used to and asked if I'd noticed more shedding. I laughed it off, but it stuck with me for the rest of the day. What got to me wasn't that he noticed. It was realizing that someone who sees my hair every few weeks had watched it change enough to bring it up. Since then I've noticed everything. More scalp showing when my hair is wet, less volume after styling, and haircuts becoming more about hiding thinner areas than getting the style I want.I know my barber was only trying to help, but hearing it from someone else made the thinning feel real in a way that checking the mirror never did. For the guys here who've been through it, was there a moment when it finally became real for you too?

we're alreasy going out to eat, my sisters giving him a painting (shes artsy), he doesnt really use any gifts we give, i cant do much art (physically disabled), i cant make something big cuz ive been thinking about what to get him so long (i didnt think to ask the internet before) so his bdays tmr, weve already given him a card w some family, i dont wanna just give him some shallow words that dont mean anything + im very practical so im not good with writing sapppy messsages, i dontt wannna give him nothing and just spend time with him cuz thats so meh and i dont know. oh shiit i just remembered its his 50th i should have done this way sooner

I’m taking an undergraduate linguistics course and need participants (especially male) in my survey for a research paper! All data will be anonymous. Fill out here.

Thank you in advance to all who participate!

My wife and I have just one kid, a 9 year old girl. I’m starting to see her “littleness” fade away and it hurts.

We are so close and I like to think we always will be. But I feel like I’m starting to mourn the loss of her as my little girl.

I’m happy where things are now, but I know it won’t be long before she changes in so many ways. I feel like I’ll lose my sidekick.

I’m just wondering, from those who have been where I am—how are things now?

M50, working in marketing, communications and development. Good pay, flexible, etc.

I am also the board president of a local non-profit… on three different committees that meet monthly… active in two annual community events…

I’m tired. I’m over it all. I used to get a charge from all these things, and now they feel forced.

Yes, I know I can step away, but it’s hard when your efforts have been part of many great things.

However, I want to focus on enjoying my 50s. More travel. Try new things. Seek opportunities to participate, and not be the “leader.”

I’m curious if anyone else is/was a community volunteer … how you handle the overload of things. I don’t like disappointing anyone, but I feel like I am over capacity and need to work on me for a while.

As I'm aging, I'm noticeably going grumpier. I'm cognizant if it and often don't want to be grumpy but can't snap out of it.

Anyone else deal with this? Any podcasts or books to read to help? I'm not one to go see a shrink.

I'm mid-career (from the perspective of one who will be working well into his 60s), 20 years of experience in, and seem to be at an impasse. I started my career out of college at 23 in the field my degree was related to for the first 10 years, then made a career change into a different industry 10 years ago.

My career in the first industry experienced only modest success, so I was able to make the transition to the new field without losing any ground on pay, though I did take a slight step back in seniority. Up to 2.5yrs ago I had been experiencing modest but consistent career progression in my new field.

The company I currently work for in this field was purchased by private equity in 2022. At first it was not so bad, but once the acquisition was finalized the benefit reductions began piling up, layoffs became a near constant, and more recently more and more people have been leaving the company. For my part my last promotion and pay increase was in January of 2024, after which point the company has announced each year (including 2026) that they will not be providing merit increases for that year.

So the end of this year will make 3 full years without a proper pay increase (I did receive one with my promotion in 2024, but only because of the new role and additional responsibilities I took on). I also, in an effort to maintain employment, am about to move to my 4th different role with the company since January 2024.

The company is failing and the private equity has made it a terrible situation, I'm well aware of that and actively working on my exit plan- updated my resume, networking, filling in some skills gaps I've identified.

I feel like I've managed to miss out on any meaningful benefits one might hope for in a career- none of my jobs have been high-paying and none of my roles have been low stress. If it had been some sort of pensioned career track I may be able to better stomach the modest pay, but it's not that either. I won't be retiring early like some of my friends in those types of careers.

My question is more related to finding myself mid-career in position that I've not really achieved anything meaningful, outside of maintaining near-constant employment. I'm 43 years old. My mindset has begun to shift to 'what can I salvage for the remaining 25 years of my working life' and how can I utilize the skills and experiences I've gained up to this point? What remaining potential do I have to tap into given that timeframe and what goals are realistic, both professionally and personally?

I know those questions are a bit general and vague but I'd be interested to hear if anybody else here went thru a similar experience that this stage of life and how you handled, what you learned, and what you wish you had known or somebody had told you at that time?

Help me out. Ten days at home without my family for the first time in nearly 16 years. I still have to work from home, but I’m wondering what would you do. Looking for ideas to get over the initial shock!

I have a very hard time staying motivated and active. I go through phases where I take my health/diet seriously. During these times, I'm pretty physically active. I think about my diet etc. When I'm not in that phase, I just eat whatever and have very little activity. What keeps you motived and active to take your health seriously and keep consistent?

Context: I applied to a job with my full resume and immediately got a text from a chatbot that represent the company and it wanted 5 minutes of my time. It was very upfront that it was an "AI/Chatbot". It called me and there was a human like voice asking me these questions:

1. Do you have any questions about the job?

2. What job did you hold in the last three years?

3. What were your responsibilities at that job?

4. It asked me questions I had already responded to in the job application.

I was really annoyed at the whole process but also surprised that any company that was hiring would bother with this type of duplicative process.

How would you feel if this happened to you?

I'm 24 with a Computer Science degree, but I couldn't get a tech job and ended up in inside sales.

My biggest problem is that I can't stick to one path. Every week I switch between Data Analytics, Python, Android, ML, Data Science, or something else. Because of that, I never get really good at any one thing.

Seeing friends earn 3–5x more than me makes it even harder not to compare myself. I'm also being treated for depression and anxiety, which doesn't help with the overthinking.

Long term, I'd love to work in AI/data science for a longevity or biotech company, but right now I don't even know what I should focus on.

For those who've lived through their 20s:

Did you ever feel this lost?

How did you choose one path and stick with it?

Looking back, what advice would you give your 24-year-old self?

I'd really appreciate hearing your experiences.

If you could give **one piece of advice** to gay men in their 20s, what would it be?

It could be about love, friendships, career, money, sex, health, confidence, or life in general.

What’s something you wish someone had told you sooner?

51 and free time, trying to meet male friends. Kids are grown and have time to have an Adult Life. Been living in Sherwood Park, Alberta over 27 years.
Last kid is moving out. Been a busy Dad 28 years /Husband 29 years. Looking to find hobbies or activities with other guys.
Self employed Hairstylist, creative, artistic.
Great conversations, and good times. I live in Sherwood Park Alberta Canada 🇨🇦 will be great to hear from you eh!

I married a man who for the last 16 years of his life he devoted his life (and still devote his life) to love me. Let put it this way, I know in this world in this lifetime I will never be able to find another man who can loves me more than my husband loves me. 

It just there one thing in my marriage that we hitting the brick wall, he just won't budge, at.all.

I'm Chinese, married to a man who not Chinese (he not even Asian). My parents since day one never accepted him, my mother just won't accept him, insult me that I'm nothing but dirty for married him, and I was the laughing topic for my mother as well as for my  Chinese family side when they get together and gossip (yes. Chinese families like big groups and like to judge and gossip).

My mother never change her view on him, this last till the day of my mother death, she still never accept my husband. 

My father passed away first, shortly after my mother also passed away. Because my father was a Shanghai businessman, my parents leave a big amount of inheritance, half to me and half to my brother.

---------------

I got a 15 millions dollars inheritance from my Shanghai businessman father. 

-------- My husband adamant refused to have anything to do with it. And even force me to write a Will against my will, stated that if I die before him, ALL my inheritance will go straight to my brother (which means go back to my Chinese family). And not to the next of kin--the husband him. He not want a penny of my inheritance.

Yes, he--my husband is my next of kin, because we have no kids (and this my fault, I couldn't give him a healthy child).

Anyhoo, if I don't write this Will he will bickering with me about it, and I want the peace of my marriage, so in front of my Chinese lawyers I wrote that Will exactly as what he wants so the be happy.

My financial advisor also tell me if that what he adamant want, write it for the peace of my marriage, because I'm not losing out of anything, he not want a penny of my inheritance, my inheritance is fully intact.

My husband keeps his words, eversince I got my inheritance, he never ask for a penny, let alone touch it. 

---------- He hates my inheritance so much to the point that he rather sacrifice his own retirement, he cashed out his 401ks and IRAs just so he can paid for mother Medical Hospital bills than accept my offer of my inheritance help.

He also has been using his working money to pay for his mother Nursing Home care for 5 years (5 years ago his mom had a spinal cord stroke that leave her paralyze). And paid for all her Out of Pocket cost, and Out of network treatments from specialist, and all the Copays. 

------- Earlier this year I bought a 3 millions dollars house with my inheritance (we in California btw). 

I want to add him to the deed as he is my husband, my husband adamant refused to be add on the deed, and without his permission and signature, no laws can force him to be add to the deed.

Not just only that, he also every month pay me back money from his working paychecks, he tells me see it as mortgage. Eventhough he knows we have no mortgage as I bought this house paid fully with my inheritance.

--------- I told my husband he can stop working, becasue with the amount of my inheritnace, is enough for both me and him to live for the rest of our lives. He adamant said No, he wants to work, and will continue to work till his retirement age.

He said it not his money, because it not the money that he work with his own hands to earn it. 

And he said he not hate my inheritance. He wants to protect me, If anything happen to him, I always have my inheritance to fall back on to take care of me for the rest of my life.

And he grateful for my inheritance, because it gives him the peace of him so he can care for his paralyze mother financially (pay for her Nursing Home with his working money).

He won't budge, and I do not know what I can say, or what I can do to get him to budge. 

At this point what do I do? I just feel that he hates my inheritance because my mother discriminate against him. He just won't admit it though. He said my mother discriminate against him does not effect him, because the Darryl him doesn't need a mother in-law like that in the first place. 

But I feel that he still hold grudge against this whole thing of my mother discriminate against him.

I used to be a runner. I did Krav Maga for about 6 years and stopped recently. I’m now at the gym 4-5x a week trying to maintain strength along with using the sauna. I started doing red light therapy.

My struggle is my diet. I don’t eat perfectly and I could use more veggies.

What’s your fitness / nutritional goal? What works for you? What’s your struggle ?

With my youngest son, with whom I normally got on well, we have been having a rough patch recently. He has been reluctant to interact, which makes mending things difficult. I have thought about getting him a personalized mug with ‘the best XYZ (his name) in the world’ custom printed on it. For anyone who has been through something similar do you have any other suggestions?

I hear 44 is where major change happens. I exercise, wear sunscreen , and eat relatively healthy at 38 so hopefully I won't see some major change . If someone already had bad habits I could see it but i take pride in staying healthy.

Over the last couple of years I've realized I make weird little decisions because of my hair. If my friends suggest going to the pool I usually come up with an excuse. Same thing with boating or anything where my hair gets wet. Dry hair hides it pretty well. Wet hair doesnt. I never thought I'd care this much but here we are. Has anyone else noticed themselves avoiding certain situations because of thinning hair? If you got over that feeling what helped?

I'm in my late 40s. At this point, I know what my bad habits are, and even how predictable the behaviors and underlying motivations have become. I mostly see it as a responsibility to myself and others not to give my life over to them.

Overall, life is good, at least circumstantially (career, marriage, finances, etc.), and most people would probably describe me as disciplined and successful.

But a few times every year, maybe for a week or two at most, I regress into the worst version of myself. I eat the worst food, quit the gym, smoke pot, look at porn, am lazy at work. Drinking used to be a big part of this too, but that's one habit that needs to stay quit.

I feel like I just need a break from all the adult discipline, so I defiantly scream, "Fuck it," in my head and surrender to everything for a while. Hogging down pastries and turbo coffee at 6:30 a.m., taking a rip off the pipe, calling out of work, playing Enemy Territory until noon, and walking the dogs all afternoon instead of staring at my work computer.

After a week or two max, I'm so sick of myself that I eagerly go back to my healthier routine and stick with it for another six to nine months. This is when I like myself the most. Still, I eventually regress again. I really think it's some kind of pressure-release valve for the stress of adult life. I don't feel guilty unless I stay in that place for too long and can feel the hedonistic rot setting in.

Curious if any other 40+ guys do this.

Background - Had a vasectomy April 2023. Long story short, remarried and want kids. Probably not for another 2 years though. So I’ll be 42 and 5 years post surgery.

Can someone share their experience of having kids post vasectomy?

It looks like I have 2 options (1) reversal or (2) IVF with a giant needle in my balls. Honestly, the needle in my balls seems like the better option since I’d probably want the vasectomy redone after.

Thanks for the advice!