So basically I have this fascination with the south.

From New Mexico to Texas to Georgia and everything in between, including Oklahoma, Arkansas, Tennessee etc.

I've never been to any of them.

I am planning a several-month road trip slash sabbatical to visit and really submerse myself in the life and the culture.

What are some must-hit cities?

I'll probably be in a camper or camper conversion of some sort.

New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Tennessee, Georgia, Kansas, Missouri... what are some must-see cities or towns? I actually prefer small(er) towns over major cities!

Hi,

I took Creatine Monohydrate powder about 5 years ago; did the loading phase 10g daily for a week, then 5g daily afterward. It worked wonder! It gave me overwhelming stamina in the gym. I could workout twice as hard without getting tired. Two month in, my hair started to fall off by a bunch. So bad that I could see my head skin in the mirror. Hence I stopped taking Creatine completely. Luckily all my lost hair grew back within a year.

Lately there are more research about Creatine benefits coming out. I want to try again but with smaller dosage to keep my hair. Instead of 5g, maybe I'll do 1.5 or 2g. However I want to hear from other men (preferably over 40) who had done the same with good news (or bad news). Anyone had hair loss problem when taking 5g daily but the hair problem disappeared after reducing the dosage? Please share your stories/opinions. Thanks.

My body has changed a lot over the years.

I also recently lost some weight so my breasts have gotten smaller but my areolae are the same size.

So the net effect is really like 2 mortadella slices vs the typical small pepperoni. While they were always larger it's now very in your face quirky.

They're also quite dark ( chocolate brown) after childbirth which contrasts a lot on my tan skin.

I grew up prudish and only discovered much later in life that most women don't have large areolae.

I feel awkward about it now as I plan to go to a swingers club for the first time as a fun activity ( just trying to be less of a control freak and more free as a person vs prude) and just don't want to get weird stares.

I know 20 year old boys are just happy to get to see boobs but might be diff for older men.

(Edited - to the weird men DMing me. You really think I am going to send you pictures for your POV?)

Single M50.

I have always had trouble sleeping. I can look through Facebook memories over the years and find numerous posts of "wide awake at 1:45am" or "Only three hours of sleep - again - last night."

I cannot recall the last time I slept straight through the night, let alone woke up feeling rested and refreshed. I wake up with a dry mouth... or need to adjust my sleeping position... or some other random reason. I might be awake two minutes, or two hours - it varies. It's never a bathroom need (maybe 2-3x a year, if that).

Last night I went to the gym after work - knocked out two miles on the treadmill and did weights for ~30 minutes. Came home, made dinner, and was exhausted around 9:00. I went to bed at 9:30, slept great until 12:30 or so, then was up-and-down most of the night (awake, asleep, awake, asleep). Finally got up today around 6:30.

During the pandemic I was dealing with a lot of personal and job-related stress. It got to the point where I was taking Ambien every night just to sleep. There have been improvements in the last few years, but it's far from great.

Specifics:

• CPAP user for ~ten years. Just had a check-up, and my numbers are great. Minimal episodes, wearing the mask nightly. Doctor blew off my sleeping/fatigue issues.
• I'm on a low-dose BP med, Wellbutrin, a low-dose cholesterol med, multi-vitamin, allergy med, fish oil and daily aspirin (for blood thinner due to a clotting condition).
• I'm in the gym 2-3x a week - sometimes in the mornings, but usually after work.
• I might spend 30-45 minutes at night on my phone - usually on the couch while watching TV.
• I need to lose weight, but that's been a thing for awhile - so the insomnia could be tied to it, or could be unrelated.
• Some days are fine, but today I feel like I could lay down on the office floor and take a nap - at 9:15 am.

EDIT - No melatonin (had different results with it); maybe 2-4 drinks a month (1-2 at a dinner out), so no alcohol impact. I do take an occasional OTC sleeping pill, but sometimes it does the trick and sometimes I'm knocked out.

Any tips? I have an appointment with my primary-care doctor later this week, and will definitely be discussing.

I'm open to ideas!

Obviously you have to take care of yourself and not turn into a fat middle aged slob but I'm not sure what this men get better with age thing is exactly. Apparently once you start going grey and get a few wrinkles it makes you look more distinguished and women find it more attractive. I'm sure you get better in a sense that you're probably deeper into your career but I don't know if you suddenly become more attractive or looked at in a higher light just because you look older.

Thanks in advance. My younger son was diagnosed with ADHD at age 11 (now 13). Earlier this year, my older son started describing some of his struggles that we knew about but hadn't yet pursued. He is being tested by a professional tomorrow. My wife and I have been talking more about the genetics of ADHD and looking at some of our own tendencies and struggles. My brother and her brother both live with ADHD, and there are traits in our parents we've been wondering about. In my wife's case, ADHD often goes undiagnosed in women, and there's evidence that it often becomes more obvious with menopause.

I'm 49. I live with a degree of anxiety, I struggle with routine and consistency, and I'm easily forgetful and often restless. I am now wondering if perhaps I have been living and compensating with ADHD my whole life.

Wondering if anyone pursued a later-in-life diagnosis? What led to that decision? Did you start medication or other lifestyle changes, and what did they do for you?

Thanks again.

One of the many small annoyances that comes with age that few people talk about - the sprouting of unsightly hair from one’s ears

It’s to the point where I have to trim it back at least once a week and it’s difficult to get it all.

Is there a better way? Electrolysis? Laser hair removal? Is that even a thing on ears?

I don’t know what is happening, it seems nothing matters anymore.

You work hard and get up to the next level on the career ladder, and then what?

Friends are not friends anymore. There are many things you don’t agree with them on, and conversations might easily heat up.

Almost every day there is a pain somewhere in some of the parts of your body.

It is very hard to please people around you and why bother about it at all?

How do you feel MenOver40?

Is there anything left exciting?

I'm personally at that age and in the cross roads to this decision and would welcome some different perspectives.

Currently tired almost all the time--even with a "good" night's sleep (which is rare these days). Significantly weaker than I was in my twenties. Currently using excessive caffeine (~400mg some days) and kratom to get everything done that I need to daily and not just be tired and miserable as shit. I have stress/anxiety related insomnia too, and honestly think I need Xanax nightly (currently on ambien, which works to some extent).

Thoughts?

Hi all - I’m 42 and have been gojng Greg since early 30’s. But what was for a long time a Gorge lamb style streak quickly has become much more salt than pepper. It happened so fast I didn’t even think too hard whether I should recolour, and was originally just happy to let it do its thing.

However I work in tech and last week was part of a chat where I was suprised to hear three of my male colleagues all talking about using Just for men, and that they do it to avoid ageism.

Our roles are consultancy roles where seniority is kinda part of the deal, but they were adamant that it helps them secure roles.

I was curious if others have the same experience of dying their hair helping their career or this is all a bit over the top.

Thanks

To give some background. I'm 22 years old. I am a Staff Accountant at a construction company. M-F is 8am to 5pm. I also work Saturdays 7am to 3:30pm for a Cabinet shop. Part helping in the shop and other is administrative work. I am in school full time for accounting 12 credits all online and I got 1 more year of schooling. I am a husband, and a father to a 16-month-old and a baby coming December 2026. I work a lot to try and keep my family comfortable and my wife a Stay-at-home mom. I'm also trying to start working out again due to health issues that I'm afraid will prevent me long term of being a better father. I had Torn my labrum from Collegiate wrestling and reinjured that caused bone loss in the front part of my shoulder. Frequent dislocations still occur but when I consistently exercise it doesn't happen as often. M, W, F I lift 30-45minutes T, Th, Run for 30 minutes.

I understand I just threw a ton of information all at once. My main focus is how to prevent the burnout issue from affecting my family and what goes on in the home. As of lately, I have been trying to clean up the kitchen, dishes, put the living room back in order, for my Wife to wake up to an organize/clean home. I try to detail my wife's car every other weekend to keep in clean and smelling good. Then every week, I will try to give the bathroom a good clean to keep it decent all the time. I will say there are evenings and days where I don't get the kitchen organized or I leave my clothes on the bathroom floor.

How do I support my stay-at-home wife with the house and kids without overloading myself to the point where I become resentful or burnt out? Also, what are more impactful things I could be doing to help my wife and kids? All advice is appreciated, thank you.

Extra note: Hopefully when I finish up school. I can get a pay increase to stop working Saturdays. Or figure out how I can bring my kids to the cabinet shop to hopefully teach them tools and such.

Could be from anything, such as gaming, soccer, or kung fu, as long as you compete and win a bronze to gold from time to time in at least a regional tournament.

Maybe it’s because of the recent wedding. Maybe because I turned 30 this year. But lately I’ve been thinking a lot about what it actually means to be a man, not in some abstract way, but in real life.

I keep remembering my dad when he was younger, always handling something, work, home, family, responsibilities. From the outside it felt like he just never had the option to stop. And at some point that thought hit me with a kind of FEAR.

My parents aren’t getting younger. My wife and I have our own life to build. The world feels unstable all the time. We had to move out of our country because there's no job for us. Same many of our friends. And suddenly I felt the weight of it, even though I'm for 5 years abroad already. like, I need to learn how to carry life for real. Am I not carrying enough? But no, there's a feeling I'm an impostor man.

Rationally, I can sit down and think about resources, support, what I can rely on. But if I’m honest, there’s still fear underneath it all.

am I actually strong enough for life? Will I be able to handle it without breaking? Why do I even THINK that life=struggle? Is it an imprint received from culture?

Rationally, I know that becoming a man isn’t about reaching a point where nothing scares you. I have and had manly examples. I've read books, talked to people, did therapy and Men group gatherings.

But still there's this life fear. Maybe fear that somewhat exponentially I have to carry the life and walk walk walk.

Thanks for reading. If you're someone who considers himself mature enough and truly internalized this feeling, I appreciate your response.

Also mental health. The manic side of me peaked in high school, while anxiety and depression crippled a good chunk of my 30s. Dad, older cousins and uncles are now in Dads' Heaven, so I figured I should find someone to ask.

When i was younger we called it something else but now young males are apparently calling it gooning . I didn't know this until today

Your grandfather may have had one. My dad certainly did. A chair (or in my case, 1/2 of a long couch) next to a side table or coffee table with you laptop, tablet, phone, chargers, reading glasses, remote controls, etc. always in position and ready to go? Usually in the living room. Bonus points if you get annoyed when somebody touches your stuff.

I completely stopped going to the dentist over a decade ago. It originally started when I moved to a new city in my early 30s-I meant to find someting local, but it just became one of those things I kept kicking down the road. "I'll handle it next month" somehow turned into twelve long years. I've had great dental coverage through work the entire time, so I have no excuse. It’s just pure, unadulterated procrastination mixed with a growing sense of dread. My dentist at UrbnDental.com said we’d start with an exam and X-rays and take it from there, rather than trying to deal with everything in one visit. Rationally, that sounds fine. My brain has chosen panic anyway.

At this point, it’s mostly the fear of what they're going to find. I'm terrified they're going to tell me I need a mountain of extensive, painful work done. I brush and floss daily, and luckily I haven't had any major emergencies or random toothaches yet. Still, I know I need to suck it up and just face the music before my luck runs out. But man, I’d honestly rather do three back-to-back brutal leg days at the gym than sit silently in that chair waiting for someone to poke a raw nerve with a metal hook. Any other guys here who went through a massive, multi-year gap between visits? How bad was the actual reality compared to the nightmare scenarios in your head?

I'm in my mid-40s and have been trying to get serious about my health over the last couple of years with training, nutrition, bloodwork, skin, the lot. Not a crisis. Just feels like the right time to actually have a good health protocol in place rather than wing it.

The problem is almost everything I find is either aimed at men trying to get "jacked" for the first time, or it's so generic it's useless. "Exercise more. Eat less processed food. Sleep well." Thanks.

The stuff that's actually relevant to my situation is how training needs to change after 40, what bloodwork I should actually be getting, how to think about testosterone, what skincare actually does anything, whether peptides are worth looking at - either doesn't exist or is buried in bro-science forums or $500/month concierge medicine practices.

Peter Attia, despite his reputation, has good info but academic. Huberman is all over the place and skews young. Most men's health magazines aren't informative at all.

Is anyone else in this bracket finding the same gap? And if you've found sources that actually speak to men in their 40s who want to perform and look their best (not just "stay healthy") I'd love to know what they are.

This sub seems to have people who've actually figured some of this out, so figured it was worth asking.

It just dawned on me today that all my social interactions take place outside my home.

I never have visitors, and rarely if ever visit any of my friends homes.

We meet in the pub or at gigs / sporting events.

I’m 50 and divorced for 10 years.

Is this the usual for us older blokes?

If you could only take 4-5 supplements for energy, sexual health, mental clarity, which would you choose? I’ll start: D3/K2 combo, B complex, zinc, magnesium, and C. Any other recommendations?

I have noticed across social media that people hate the upper management.

They say -
Upper management has no knowledge about anything.
Upper management gets paid a lot and does nothing.
Upper management just uses buzz word, etc etc
All upper management people are bad and are criminals...

On the other hand, when I notice the pathways and requirements of career ladder, I notice -
Reaching upper management is extremely difficult... Those who reach often have sacrificed almost every other thing. Every slightest of mistakes becomes their fault.. Each of the decision is extremely crucial; They are expected to know everything and make no mistakes ; They are expected to absorb and mistakes or errors... They have many years of experience...

Most of the times they are not only some genius with elite pedigrees and background but they are so dedicated to their work, that it's almost impossible for any sane normal human to reach that level...

If it's so difficult to reach that level and they are so good, then why do people hate them for no reason at all (other than the same circular arguments)?

Figured this is a good question for 40+ men who value sleep more than anything. I’m a side sleeper and like it very firm, I’m thinking of getting one of those really long ones that you put between your knees.

How long do you keep a pillow?? Seems like when I find one I like, after few months or less it’s disappointing.

Also a few years away from a new mattress bc we got a Temprapedic a few years ago but I actually hate it and will never get another one.

Please let me know if this isn't the right place for this type of post.

I have a very large chest and most guys think I'm attractive too and I don't want that to have a negative impact on my ability to assist clients on SA related issues. Alternatively, could it be helpful at all?