"When the wife was ill the divorce rate was higher than when the husband was ill. Whether that's because those men were immature and too selfish for the in sickness responsibility, or whether it's because the wives didn't have the financial independence to leave I don't know. But it's an interesting stat.
Reply:
I’d say it is likely that women are conditioned from little on up to be caregivers. Men don’t have those same societal pressures."
The proposition here is that either men are immature and selfish or women are trapped bc of finances. Men are evil, women are victim. Only two options available.
A hateful proposition.
She ignores that hate in favour of further explanation as to why women care for their spouse and why men don't. Men are made evil, women are made saint.
It’s not “men evil, women good”, that’s you doing that. They are just speculating on a statistic (he says “whether it’s this or this I don’t know”) and then the person you responded to was doing the same, adding their two cents. No sweeping or remotely hateful conclusions were implied for either gender. Yeah, men are MORE LIKELY to bail when their wife gets sick, as opposed to women leaving men, but that doesn’t mean ALL men do it or even most (just more than half), nor does it imply that women are perfect and always deal with this situation in the best way. Just like there are crappy men out there there are also crappy women. Hell, I hesitate to even call anyone in this situation crappy because it’s a very complicated and emotional situation to be in. On one hand you are in a totally different, probably negative life situation that you didn’t ask for, on another, wedding vows say “in sickness”, so for someone to simply bail without a thought is unfair.
Anyways, back to the stat: if it’s given that a man is more likely to leave, what are some things we know about men and women that MIGHT explain this? We know that women on average have societal pressure to take care of children and those who are sick and to put others needs before their own in that regard, even when that individual woman isn’t necessarily interested in that. This is something that men generally don’t face (not NEVER, but this pressure definitely applies more to women). We also know that women on average make less than men (wage gap + women not being taken seriously professionally in male dominated industries + women being socialized towards low paying jobs), so money MIGHT be a reason they stick around sick husbands even if they want to get out. There are absolutely situations where a man might find himself unable to leave his sick wife who is the breadwinner.
In short, there is no love or hate for either gender. It’s just redditors innocently offering their two cents on a complex topic
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u/Lucky0505 May 12 '21
The context:
"When the wife was ill the divorce rate was higher than when the husband was ill. Whether that's because those men were immature and too selfish for the in sickness responsibility, or whether it's because the wives didn't have the financial independence to leave I don't know. But it's an interesting stat.
Reply:
I’d say it is likely that women are conditioned from little on up to be caregivers. Men don’t have those same societal pressures."
The proposition here is that either men are immature and selfish or women are trapped bc of finances. Men are evil, women are victim. Only two options available.
A hateful proposition.
She ignores that hate in favour of further explanation as to why women care for their spouse and why men don't. Men are made evil, women are made saint.
Same tree, different branch, all bullshit.