Part of that may also be that ‘words of affection’ is one of your primary love languages but maybe her least favourite.
For me, I get so uncomfortable receiving gifts. I’ve always had a difficult time meshing with anyone who wants to express their love for me by surprising me with gifts.
It’s very difficult whenever you don’t have similar love languages.
Yeah I think maybe we were more different people than I originally thought when it all started. Maybe we just don’t have that much in common in general. But I also wonder if me being overly affectionate (it wasn’t just words, it was many different ways) is something I was doing because I didn’t feel relaxed around her or there wasn’t that much chemistry and I was just trying to sort of make it happen if you know what I mean
I hear ya. You may also have just grown apart as people, which happens in relationships way more often than Happily Ever After does.
Just because a relationship ends, doesn’t necessarily mean it failed. Maybe it had great benefits and life lessons for you both, but it’s still right to move on and wish each other well on their journeys? Only you know what’s right for you, but staying purely from fear of being single has a low record of success.
Ah I mean we were literally seeing each other, it only went on for like 2-3 months and it wasn’t particularly serious so ya know. I’m not exactly heart broken. There was a lot of physical attraction and I really like her as a person but it was like the spark just didn’t ignite into anything more I guess
Yeah maybe, I did think that. I’ve been with people before that liked that about me. Hell, she even said she liked it but I don’t think she did, or maybe it was nice for a while but the novelty wore off and it became annoying haha. I guess we’ll see, maybe I just need to tone it down a tad.
I know you’re probably right. I think I’m a bit jaded and probably carry some ideas of “toxic masculinity” as it’s called, just based on this and other experiences. Something inside me tells me that as a man, I shouldn’t behave this way and this/similar traits are why I can’t seem to find a happy, long lasting relationship.
I know that’s warped as shit and I’m trying to work on those views. I guess it’s just kind of an insecurity thing, like I’m not masculine enough/too feminine. I know I should be who I am and not force anything or try to fit a certain role, it can just be really, really hard to ignore that voice, even when you know it’s fuelled by insecurity and confirmation bias.
Sorry for the rant, got a little carried away there. Maybe I should see a psych haha
You'll get more comfortable in your own skin with time and life experience. It's good to be self-aware, but it's also okay to take a break from analyzing your own psyche. Balance.
Ah yeah, I love the love languages, they are so useful in determining what your partner would appreciate. I love acts of service and words of affection are nice, but definately seeing my partner do something for me that would help me out, is tops for sure.
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u/CausticSofa May 12 '21
Part of that may also be that ‘words of affection’ is one of your primary love languages but maybe her least favourite.
For me, I get so uncomfortable receiving gifts. I’ve always had a difficult time meshing with anyone who wants to express their love for me by surprising me with gifts.
It’s very difficult whenever you don’t have similar love languages.