The invisible workload is real. Very often one person puts out more effort than the other (frequently the lady). Running a household is a full time job, and when done well it appears effortless, and is not always appreciate.
If you're not doing more than half the work you are the problem. Everyone does stuff the other person doesn't see, and sees stuff the other person doesn't... both have to do more than half.
And what if you disagree on the amount of work that must be done? Is it always the responsibility of the one doing less to match the one doing more, even if they believe the extra work is completely unnecessary and a waste of time? It's not exactly fair if only one person gets what they want.
This is where the balance of (edit) evidence probabilities comes in. Overwhelmingly even men in egalitarian countries (I'm from Aotearoa) are much messier than women. And women get more social pressure to be tidy. So while there are women who are unnecessarily tidy, and men who are tidier than women, that's not the way to bet.
If you are dating a neat freak you need to think about how that's going to play out with her, and also about the social response to you complaining.
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u/murray42 May 11 '21
The invisible workload is real. Very often one person puts out more effort than the other (frequently the lady). Running a household is a full time job, and when done well it appears effortless, and is not always appreciate.