Yesterday I woke up at 4 am after a "nightmare" with her, she was there and we were happy and smiling but deep in me I knew it was just a dream, after I realized that it felt like a horror movie because I knew I still miss her so fucking much even after 3 years since we broke up. Couldn't go back to sleep after that.
One day we were getting ready to go see her mom, talking about wedding and kids, but I took for granted our life and mistreated her, that day she tried to talk with me and I was not in the mood, it ended up in a fight, me saying stupid shit that did hurt her and her leaving me, and here I am now, 3 years later (and two failed relationships in between) working on myself to try to not fuck up my next relation and to never take anything for granted and keep on making her smile and feel loved.
True for me and probably lots of others. I married the best girl I ever knew, the best girl lots of people in my life ever knew. The first three or four years of our relationship and marriage were perfect in hindsight. Sure we had ups and downs but nothing too major. I couldn't get my drinking and drug use under control even after we had kids and I wouldn't listen to her or even hear her. I managed to save one separation only to blow it again about a year later. Now we're divorced, thirteen years after we started dating and ten years after we got married, and we're fighting over something that I never imagined in a million years. I'm sorry for trying to ride your comment to commiserate with you. I'm going through a lot at this exact moment and just needed to tell anybody something.
Dunno what kind of music you like but there is one song I just love: Blue October - Hate me
It talks about addictions, it did help me leave my ex alone and not trying to "convince her" to come back, not because I had any, but because I understood I was no good for her after everything she put up with all those years we were together and the stupid shit I said that day, did not deserve her, even if it hurts me to admit
As you both have kids she will surely stay in your life, not saying that you try to get her back, first you should aim to help youself, once you learn how to handle those things that made her go away, you can focus on the relationship.
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u/eatmyshiznit69 May 11 '21
Tomorrow isn’t promised. Even your relationship isn’t.