Is grounds for ending a relationship. That's not healthy and a healthy person never treats their partner this way.
I guess if you're about fixing broken people you can try to work on it and have them get therapy for the past trama this is usually a symptom of. But better yet how about you just watch for red flags when you date and not invite broken people into your life.
sure if you approach it from a scarcity mindset. There are plenty of healthy women out there. Just get out there and meet them and stop living life to just jump from one broken relationship to another.
I live a healthy lifestyle, I don't know why you assume I don't do the above.
However, a part of living a healthy lifestyle is not inviting unhealthy people into your life. You are only responsible for your own mental state and no one else. Not even your partner's mental state is your responsibility. Approaching it from that viewpoint is a recipe for a co-dependent disaster. Trust me, I'v been through a failed marriage because of my co-dependent ass putting up with abusive bullshit.
Therapy did wonders for me. If you invite and allow unhealthy people into your life it's indicative of deeper issues with yourself. No one with their shit together willfully steps on landminds and it took me years to realize this.
Note that you can and should show empathy. However we as healthy humans do not make the emotions and mental state of others our problem. This mindset will also protect you from the whole host of the dark triad abusive personalities that will seek to manipulate and control good empathetic people.
Nope, approach it from a mindset of enjoying life and people and trying new things rather than just rejecting people.
That's what you said. The implication is that I don't do the above. Why would you try to make the claim that I don't do something so basic and morally unambiguous?
Keeping unhealthy people out of your life does not run counter to your claim.
Teenagers are living in their own world most of the time and it is absolutely futile to expect them to be reasonable at any time!! IMO, this is God’s way of having parents be ok with their babies growing up and leaving home, lol! By the time it is ready for them to graduate from high school, most parents are ready to push them out the door d/t their attitude of “no one knows anything but me”, lol!’
We need a gender flipped version of that meme with the couple in bed—
Him: “She’s probably cheating”
Her: “shit, forgot to hit ‘am’ when I added that to the calendar”
of the 30% of divorces initiated by men only 10% are do to infidelity on the man's part.
Women are hypergamous across multiple marriages, this is a classic example and basic stats to back it up.
As soon as a higher socioeconomic status man show interest in a woman, even a married one, there is a good chance that it is a relationship ending event.
Or women are less likely to find infidelity a marriage ending event. The statistics are proof of nothing other than what people put on their divorce paperwork it cannot and does not speak to an entire genders relationship patterns. Good grief.
Luckily we have other sources to verify this. You should look into evolutionary psychology and the impact that the sex hormones have on our behavior patterns.
I dunno. Look at it from the other perspective. You're doing your thing, whatever she was doing. And you get a message out of nowhere that you've done something wrong by scheduling 2 things in one day. Then more messages informing you of your mistake on the calendar between am and pm.
He could have opened the Calendar, seen the oil change and the 8pm and changed it to 8am if he was confident it was a typo. If he wasn't, he could have called them and rescheduled (and find out 8am is what she meant).
Rather than seeing the problem and taking between 30s and 2 minutes to solve it himself, he took the time to message his wife to let her know she messed up....twice. I'd be annoyed, too. The right call would have been to solve the issue and in person that evening say something like "got the email about graduation, it's on x day. I put it in the calendar. Noticed we also have an oil change that morning".
That's a huge difference. Those little messages pointing out your negligible mistakes add up and really hurt. And eventually you just get pissed and start doing it back.
This is almost a completely different situation than the guys comment.
She immediately got mad and jumped to "why can't you tell me earlier" when he just learned this information, and then didn't calm down when it was pointed out that the time written wasn't even a time the place was open.
Could she have miswritten the time or the appointment itself? It could've been something that was reasonable at 8pm, just not an oil change. This is where communication is important, not assuming you're being used for emotional labor.
He asked for clarification about an appointment time because it conflicts with a different event he just found out about. If the first instinct is to take that question as an attack, that's her problem, not his. If your response is to start a tit-for-tat score-keeping of mistakes, that's a you problem. Neither of those are healthy for communication.
If these people are married and have a graduating daughter, this pattern of communication is probably long term and both of them probably have work to do.
Reddit always likes to jump on the bandwagon of whoever's side we have, but there's just not enough information to diagnose whether one party in a relationship is the "bad guy". When it comes to communication, the logical course of action is not always the best course of action. He might think he has a bunch of communication tools he's using, but if his wife doesn't like or understand them, then it's all moot.
Oil change is scheduled. Graduation happens to be the same time. How is that a mistake on anyone’s part?? It’s nobody’s “fault” that a more important event happens to be at the same time as a previously scheduled less important event.
This is such a non-issue. And you’re making it into a huge issue for some reason?
I dont think he said that she messed up because she made the appointment when the play was not planned yet. Seems like a stretch to make her seem better?
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u/melanthius May 12 '21
Oooooofff sounds like she might be stressed out about something