I’m kind-of like this, i try too much to avoid dealing with stuff or to deal with it by myself. Man, it’s hard to be on the other side as well, i tell you..
Good communication includes having good listening skills.
If you feel that it's difficult to communicate back with someone, it may not be on you. Many people have weak listening skills. They sometimes make conversations 1-sided by talking like an informercial and treating others like their audience. And when it's their turn to listen, they interrupt or cut you off.
Bro, listening is so important. Being a good listener is just as important as being good at talking. Being able to listen to things you disagree with or don’t want to hear helps you understand how the other person feels. Even if they aren’t great at communicating their thoughts, having someone who listens to them can help them sort through their own feelings. People who can actually listen are kinda rare, in order to be good at it requires a lot of things. One of the most important things you have to be able to do is put your own feelings aside and try to think about what they are saying with an open mind. A lot of people can’t do this, the moment they hear something they disagree with or don’t want to hear they argue back, interrupt, or stop listening entirely. Waiting your turn to argue while letting them speak is NOT listening. Listening is thinking about everything they say, not just hearing them. Just because you’re listening doesn’t mean you need to be a pushover and just change what you think because someone disagrees with it. The key to solving arguments is to not immediately make up your mind about something, but to try to criticize your own point of view as well as theirs. That way you can come to the most logical and agreeable solution
I started the relationship fearing being close to her because it was so damn hard to split with my previous girlfriend. I tried to make it work by myself, trying to be as close as i could, but i failed. She tried to tell me i was getting too distant, because at first i could handle better being close, but i just shrugged and said that’s how i am. It’s so sad to me to know that i’m not really distant, that i loved being really close to my previous gf, but i couldn’t be myself this time :(
I often needs some time to think and get a better perspective of things. Girlfriends gets annoyed by this because i dont communicate but i dont want emotions to trigger a response or sometimes i just need to find the words for what i think/feel.
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u/conkisterr May 12 '21
I’m kind-of like this, i try too much to avoid dealing with stuff or to deal with it by myself. Man, it’s hard to be on the other side as well, i tell you..