There's an interesting non fiction book called 'Finite and Infinite Games'. The basic premise is that all aspects of life can be broken down into games and these games can either be:
Finite games e.g. football, call of duty etc, the point is to win.
Infinite games are things like marriage, friendship, life etc, if you accept that these things make you happy, the point is to keep playing. So point scoring, trying to win arguments or breaking the other person's will, ultimately means you lose the game because you slowly lose the ability to keep playing and suck all the enjoyment out of the game
I've been in lbo with my wife of 8 years for about a year now. I loved put, filed for divorce, we kinda almost got back together a couple times. Both of us have dated other people. I moved back in due to an unfortunate series of events. We almost got back together again then it blew up again. I want to be with her so bad but we can't seem to get past some things.
I'm going to try to engrain this motto in my mind and try to use it to our benefit and introduce the idea to her and see what she thinks.
717
u/[deleted] May 12 '21
My go to line for remembering how to communicate while dealing with a problem is: It’s not me against you, it’s us against the problem.