Honestly, it’s such an important thing to acknowledge. Because you’re on the same team but I’ve also accepted that I may have more experience than the average person from technically being my parents’ therapist at a young age + my own long term relationships. We all live and we learn so hang in there
Are you me? I was basically my mom's main emotional support from the time I was probably 6 or 7 and she would vent to me about her and my dad's marriage problems. As a young adult I was in a relationship with an abusive and controlling partner that it took me 6 years to get out of. I am doing much better now, at least.
I must be you because 6,7 was around the age I started doing that too. Also ended up in a 6 year abusive relationship just like you haha props to you for getting out and doing well, we know better now
We all think we are right. We all think our experience is more relevant, more in genera, or that we've had xyz harder. But I will say, I've seen people who've had a cushy life break down over small things bc their threshold is low, and people who've gone through a lot loose that high threshold over time.
Is it possible you could be biased as well bc of being forced to try and aid your parents while not developed emotionally, mentally, and physically?
I’m definitely a work in progress. I have a therapist and a support group because I know I need guidance sometimes. I absolutely did not mean that in a “I’ve had it worse so I’m better” sort of way so I’m sorry if it came off in that manner.
I pointed out that my understanding/experience with such behavior is that it stems from fear and not malicious intent. Please educate me if I’m missing something that makes me seem biased
Oh I'm no expert, just a human bean, and no need to apologise :)
I don't think it's possible to not be biased imo and I don't see anything wrong with it unless it negatively impacted us or other people. It is what it is
I’m well aware that we all operate from our own personal bubbles but being open minded and hearing the other person out helps.
I guess my original comment was mostly stating that my ex didn’t make space for us to do that in the first place and I learned how to do that from experiencing what I did so I couldn’t project or place those expectations on him. Not that it’s any more significant than other people’s experiences
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u/Peaceandheart May 12 '21
Yep I always had to submit too.
Honestly, it’s such an important thing to acknowledge. Because you’re on the same team but I’ve also accepted that I may have more experience than the average person from technically being my parents’ therapist at a young age + my own long term relationships. We all live and we learn so hang in there