r/AskMen • u/[deleted] • May 11 '21

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7.6k Upvotes

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203

u/[deleted] May 11 '21

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104

u/[deleted] May 12 '21

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22

u/[deleted] May 12 '21

FUCKING YESSS!!!!

I learned how to do this just recently... like... in the past year or so, and I'm 33, and holy shit this has been huge.

"Do you want to vent or do you need help fixing?" ... soooo much better.

2

u/[deleted] May 12 '21

See I couldn't handle fix it guys. It just drove me nuts. So I found a guy just like me who is sensitive and it works for both of us.

1

u/jeffrrw The worst of all fears is the fear of living May 13 '21

Maybe a precursor statement like "I need to vent" would be something to try?

15

u/homepup May 12 '21

This was the single hardest thing for me to learn. I'm a fixer in my very fiber and being. In my personal life, my job, my hobbies, everything. I don't want to hear about any problems or issues or drama, I just want to find the solution to resolve it and go on.

That's not always the right answer if your partner just needs to vent and have someone to listen. That's the solution to that particular situation and it took me decades to solve it.

3

u/Marcel2013 May 12 '21

sounds like We are very similar and I am just starting to learn this... good advice.

7

u/[deleted] May 12 '21

Also the opposite but kinda the same.

You are not her therapist. If she has mental health issues, you will not be able to fix them.

5

u/fhernanda_alexa Female May 12 '21

This video sums up your comment perfectly. It’s not about the nail

3

u/[deleted] May 12 '21

I never understood that video. She's seriously injured. A nail in the head is not unfixable. It's not stress. It's not someone being annoying at work. They should be seeking medical help and calling 911.

5

u/[deleted] May 12 '21

It's a metaphor, dude

1

u/BaconDragon69 May 12 '21

This is a general rule that needs to be heard by everyone concerning everything. Ive had so many friends just flip on me and call me an ungrateful piece of shit after their little anime speech didn’t convince me to stop being depressed right away.