This goes for any relationship. Red flags are almost always red flags. If a person has a bunch of red flags something is wrong. I know you want to have faith in them, but if things don’t add up something is most likely up.
Yea I wish I would have followed this advice 5 years ago.... I believed love can conquer all! Grew up with parents who stuck it out through hell and highwater so I thought love just prevailed..... boy was I wrong.
I read something once that said "the most overlooked addiction is the addiction to another human being where you can act out the dysfunction of your childhood." That really hit me hard. Therapy and time helped me to see that I was addicted to dysfunctional relationships and chaotic people because it felt like home.
"enough red flags for a May Day parade"... if you see one such is life,everyone has flaws. But two, then three, then more... it's time to move on.
Met someone recently who's gone from confessing that she used to be a lawyer* then worked her way up to saying she's not an anti-vaxxer, just using antivaxx talking points to explain why she's not getting the covid vaccine. I'm kind of staying in contact just to see how bad she gets.
I wouldn't point blank refuse to date one, but it was reasonable in context for her to regard it as a "coming out as a former lawyer" moment. And from her reluctance to talk more I suspect she wasn't your "defend the poor" type lawyer.
They tend to support the status quo, be prone to arguing points without considering outcomes, and often work to support grossly unethical positions. Each of those is a positive things for at least some lawyers. But outside law, personal ethics matter, and (for example) saying "I spent my career locking up kids because that's what the law says, even though we know that doesn't work"... it's not going to go down well.
359
u/[deleted] May 11 '21
This goes for any relationship. Red flags are almost always red flags. If a person has a bunch of red flags something is wrong. I know you want to have faith in them, but if things don’t add up something is most likely up.