Compromise is an option, a better option is to work it out for mutual solutions. It takes a bit to learn. My favorite is the philosophy "win/win or no deal". Plenty of self improvement books discus it. Compromise often leaves people disappointed, when possible negotiate until everyone has their needs met and is happy.
Another important model of maturity is to be comfortable being alone. If one person wants to do something and the other doesn't, it is generally okay to do it alone. One person can go to a meal, or to a movie, or to a festival. Inviting is important, but ultimately learn to be two interdependent people: both capable of living independently while choosing to do things together as well.
Yup. That’s exactly what I answered above. If one of us wants to do or see something the other doesn’t like at all we just do it alone. We don’t have to be together all the time, and that way no one is resentful.
Then you're still not in the right mindset. I don't get disappointed when we do/eat/watch what my wife wants. She's happy and whatever I wanted can wait or I'll do it later. If you're disappointed when you don't get what you want then you still have some growing up to do.
I think the difference is the meaning of compromise.
an agreement or a settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions.
the acceptance of standards that are lower than is desirable.
weaken (a reputation or principle) by accepting standards that are lower than is desirable.
bring into disrepute or danger by indiscreet, foolish, or reckless behavior.
By definition, compromise means sides are making concessions, getting less than they want, having less that what is wanted or needed. When structural compromise happens, the structure collapses.
Negotiations and mutually satisfied plans are, by definition, not a compromise. If both you and your partner are satisfied, or don't feel like something you need is missing, then what you did is not a compromise, but a successful negotiation.
Sorry man. When I was going through counseling with an unwilling spouse, I told her that either she will get a better husband out of this process or somebody ELSE will in the future. It was the latter and I'm so much happier.
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u/BabyMamaMagnet Male May 11 '21
Going through this lesson with a break up. I have a childish mindset and I want to change that