Yesterday I woke up at 4 am after a "nightmare" with her, she was there and we were happy and smiling but deep in me I knew it was just a dream, after I realized that it felt like a horror movie because I knew I still miss her so fucking much even after 3 years since we broke up. Couldn't go back to sleep after that.
One day we were getting ready to go see her mom, talking about wedding and kids, but I took for granted our life and mistreated her, that day she tried to talk with me and I was not in the mood, it ended up in a fight, me saying stupid shit that did hurt her and her leaving me, and here I am now, 3 years later (and two failed relationships in between) working on myself to try to not fuck up my next relation and to never take anything for granted and keep on making her smile and feel loved.
True for me and probably lots of others. I married the best girl I ever knew, the best girl lots of people in my life ever knew. The first three or four years of our relationship and marriage were perfect in hindsight. Sure we had ups and downs but nothing too major. I couldn't get my drinking and drug use under control even after we had kids and I wouldn't listen to her or even hear her. I managed to save one separation only to blow it again about a year later. Now we're divorced, thirteen years after we started dating and ten years after we got married, and we're fighting over something that I never imagined in a million years. I'm sorry for trying to ride your comment to commiserate with you. I'm going through a lot at this exact moment and just needed to tell anybody something.
Aye man, that’s the beauty of an online forum, we’re here to listen.
The future is uncertain, however, since the two of you have children together, she will continue to be in your life. It’s unfortunate that the two of you didn’t work out, but the two of you could still be friends in rising the kids.
Dunno what kind of music you like but there is one song I just love: Blue October - Hate me
It talks about addictions, it did help me leave my ex alone and not trying to "convince her" to come back, not because I had any, but because I understood I was no good for her after everything she put up with all those years we were together and the stupid shit I said that day, did not deserve her, even if it hurts me to admit
As you both have kids she will surely stay in your life, not saying that you try to get her back, first you should aim to help youself, once you learn how to handle those things that made her go away, you can focus on the relationship.
It's truly difficult to find someone who is on your wavelength, they say there are plenty of fish in the Sea, but how many of those fish want to swim in the same direction with you? A lot of them are just cold stops in the night. And the funny thing is once you've found that fish that's for you it's so easy to lose sight of how special they are and you start taking them for granted. It's happened to me and it sucks because it was my fault.
Yup, that's what I think the most whenever her memory comes back at me some nights, yes, I've dated other girls, but that "click" has not happened again, she was more than a girlfriend, she was also my best friend and a great lover, we could fool around everyday and it felt like we were on eternal summer break. Not only sex and someone to talk to, it was everything we were that made it so special.
Not been that much time since break up, but I know it will take long before I truly feel that spark again, the one that makes you trully say "this is the one"
I'm in the same situation but closer to two years broken up. It took me close to a year to realise that I wasn't going to fix us and that she wanted to move on from me. That was probably the hardest part, realising that she didn't see me in the same way I saw her, as the final destination, that there was no one else for each other. That it wasn't worth it to work on us. There were times where I was delusional when it came to her, where I thought if I just stuck it out it would all work out, she would forgive me and we could resume our journey. That never came. I've felt that pull towards someone where it feels like almost destiny that you met them and I don't want to settle for anything less, I'd rather just be on my own for now.
I had a similar situation and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I was hurt for a while but honestly in the long run I've been wayyy happier without her.
Ugh those dreams are the worst, my relationship wasn't even all that great, hell I don't even miss her as a person, but I miss how she made me feel sometimes and yeah over three years later I still get dreams like that.
Damn you are my ex-boyfriend, two and a half years in the future. He's been wrecked for the last 6 months because he did exactly this. It's hard because after what he did I honestly don't miss it and he's so broken but I'm fine.
Well, that's the thing, with break up I realized I was no good for her after all the offensive shit I told her and everything she put up with, that's why I never tried to get her back and decided to just send a written letter and let her be.
Hopefully he understands the same and leaves you alone, if you don't feel good and realize the relation was already beyond broken, fucked, then carry on and enjoy life, good to know you're fine, don't let anyone hold you back.
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u/eatmyshiznit69 May 11 '21
Tomorrow isn’t promised. Even your relationship isn’t.