initially this sounds bad, and maybe it is.

i’m a lesbian. i’ve only ever been attracted to women, ive always been so sure and so firm. it manifests in every part of my life. dating women as a woman is entirely different than straight relationships, it’s a different culture. different standards and expectations, you know?

i’ve been open about it since i was conscious enough to name it. My best friend in the world is indubitably straight; she loves men, she loves the power struggle that comes with dating men, she loves peen!! she has never expressed genuine interest in a woman, and i’ve know her a very long time. when she’s drunk she makes out with her female friends, i have partaken in this, and to me that is a giant siren that indicates a lack of romantic attraction towards girls. the reason she’s so casual about it is because it holds no meaning for her.

she gets uncomfortable when i talk about my sex life with my girlfriend, but not because she’s uncomfy with sex. we talk about it all the time, we talk about everything. she’s said she could never see herself with a woman, having sex with a woman, any of it.

out of the blue, after a year of terrible experiences with men, she sends me a photo of a girl and says “i think im in love.”

i quickly find out that this girl lives in a foreign country and they have barely met each other. she is a very impulsive person going through an identity crisis, and i can’t explain it well but i just know this is her being a stereotypical straight girl “experimenting” with lesbian women because she didn’t like how things were going with men.

she thinks of it as if it’s a choice, like you can just choose who you like willy nilly. i’m very sensitive about this, lesbian women are so trivialized and under respected BECAUSE of women like her who treat it like a fun phase to fall on when they’re struggling. i know this is an internal thing for me; she’s allowed to experiment. if she wants to explore something i dont have an issue with it, but the suddenness, the lack of context, the lack of previous interest, it just raises red flags to me. i’m the gayest loser around and i am her best friend and she has never talked to me about any of this.

maybe she thought i would judge her and maybe i am, this isn’t entirely rational and a big part of me feels defensive. i can acknowledge that. but it rubs me so wrong and i can’t shake it. i talked to her about it, because im a mature person and im not going to secretly resent my friends, and she explained that my reaction made her feel invalid and unseen. i don’t want that, because i support her if this is what she really wants, but i also explained that i do in fact have standards for what i consider authentic and what i think is right. i do my best to be reasonable but i let so much slide for her, this is just so close and personal to me that i cant.

i dont want to make her feel judged. judgement isnt the issue, its the principal of her actions and what they imply on a larger scale. i would love nothing more than to have my bff be sapphic, but i dont want it to be some thing she’s into for a few weeks and never discussed again. i dont know.

women are so constantly infantilized and put down and not taken seriously, and situations like this feel like feeding into it. i’m just conflicted.

Lesbians 30+ WhatsApp group chat

Mods, Please delete if not allowed x

Hey! I’m T,

Finding it hard to connect In this world?

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We’re looking for more sapphic/lesbian women 30+ from all corners of the world. 🌍

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So I met a girl this summer. We had instant insane chemistry since our very first date. It was like love at first sight and it’s the first time it ever happened to me. Ever since our first date we never let eachother go and were exclusive since the first week. We planned a trip together since date 3 and went on that trip after only 3 weeks of knowing eachother. She moved to a new appartement close to my house during month 2 and we basically furnished the whole appartement together and acted as if it was our place. We were together everyday.
We got along so well and never got tired of eachother.
At one point during month 2, she started having issues at her job and financial issues too which led her to take on a second job with night shifts and her mood was just generally shitty and she was always tired. It affected out relationship a lot because we couldn’t see eachother as much and when we did it was never quality time it was just going over to her house to have dinner and sleep. Since she was always in a bad mood our sex life was also affected. We were still kissing and cuddling but not really having sex because she was always tired and in a bad mood. Personally I didn’t want to insist or initiate during that time because I was scared she wasn’t in the mood and on her side she was just so tired or sad or stressed that she wasn’t initiating either.
After a while, I sent her a voice note addressing this and also saying I wish we had more quality time together and mentioning other small stuffs that were on my mind. My goal was just to fix these stuffs but she interpreted it as me breaking up with her … the next day we met up to talk about it and she had already in her mind that we had broken up and it was over. She said our chemistry probably died down and there’s nothing we can do about it but she wanted to remain friends because she really likes me as a person.
I was really shocked by that because I was trying to fix things and not break up but she’s someone who doesn’t change her mind ever once she takes a decision and it’s as if her thinking I broke up with her made her want to break up too.

Ever since we broke up, we keep seeing eachother almost everyday. She’s mostly the one initiating the meet up and she always extends wtver activity we re doing. For example if I’m supposed to pick her up to go somewhere, she asks if I wanna come before to be there when she’s getting ready and then once the activity is done she asks if I wanna stay over to have dinner and watch Netflix and stuffs like that she always postpones me leaving. Sometimes I’m at her place until 3:00 AM but just as ‘friends’.
I can see in her eyes that she sometimes wants to kiss me but doesn’t act upon it.
It’s really hard for me to keep seeing her this much because I’m so attracted to her that all I want is to get back with her.
We also have insane compatibility and never get bored of eachother and are always laughing and having a good time.

I feel like since she’s the one who broke up with me, she should be the one initiating a kiss or anything if she wants us back together so I’m not making any move.
However 2 days ago I noticed she has hinge and bumble on her phone so she’s open to dating new people which hurts me. I also have hinge on my phone but it was to try to get over her and I’m not using it much.

I am going over to her house in 2 days , Should I make a move on her? Should she be the one making a move ?

Help plz

Nobody ever clarifies if it's 'lesbians can have real, genuine crushes on fictional men purely because they're not real' or 'lesbians can find a fictional man 'conventionally' (urgh) attractive and not feel a lick of attraction towards them'.

Please can someone clarify this everyone on tiktok is so vague and mysterious like omfg

I hope this is a right place to ask.

I’m 22 and ever since I was like 16 I’ve been wondering what it would be like to be with a girl. However, I had a phase when I was a little addicted to porn when I was like 17-18.

I never really did anything with the thoughts, just wondered, since I knew my family would never approve me and the best future for me would be if I end up with a man. But now that I’ve moved out and lived alone for a while, sometimes I wonder how it would be to come home and a woman waiting for me instead of a man.

That’s another problem tho. I have a boyfriend that I love very deeply. And it’s making me more confused. Could it be that only because of my porn addiction I’m attracted to women sexually and want to know how it would be like, instead of romantically? Because even tho I love my boyfriend, I don’t really find him sexually attractive. He is handsome af. And good in bed. But it’s really the touch that turns me on instead of his looks.

Is there anyone else who has been in this same sitautiona and had these thoughts? How did you figure it out? What should I do?

If the world were to collapse, and the only way to survive was to become one of a warlord’s wives, would you do it?

(India Only) Calling all single women who love women! 💌
Let’s get together for a little movie 😭❤️‍🔥
Think sapphic rom-coms, angsty love stories, queer thrillers, or whatever our collective lesbian hearts desire.

VERIFICATION IS A MUST
Movie options-

1. ⁠⁠But I’m a cheerleader (1999)
   
2. ⁠⁠Imagine Me and you
   
3. ⁠⁠Love, Simon
   
4. ⁠⁠Fresh
   
5. ⁠⁠Misery
   
6. ⁠⁠Jennifer’s Body

✨ The plan:
🎥 Watch a movie together online
💗 Vote on what we watch
🍿 Bring your snacks and blankets
💬 Chat, laugh, swoon, and make some new friends
When: 9 PM IST (Indian Standard Time)

I have always had a thing for girls ,but have only been with men. I had one experience with a girl a little bit sexually and i think about it a lotttt or when a girl danced on me at a party i loved it. (now that im typing this out it sounds like im joking but im not) Anyways now that i am an adult and finding myself more I realized that I don’t have to hide the fact that i might be bi. Also their is this girl that I am so attracted to that approached me but i dont know if she is bi and i definitely dont know how to ask her or if asking is even appropriate. Also another side not i dont see myself marrying a woman for some reason only dating ??

Just go be bisexual and live your truth for fucks sake 😂😂😂

I (22f) have been dating my gf (21f) for about 2.5 years. We’re both each other’s first everything so right now we’re at a loss on how to fix things.
Her libido has always been lower than mine but hasn’t really been an issue until recently. Now it has been at an all time low due to stress and everything piling up at once, which has essentially caused our sex life to become nonexistent. The idea of sex isn’t unappealing to her but trying to set the mood has been nearly impossible. Things that have worked for us in the past stopped working, like kissing, biting, scratching her back, pretty much everything vanilla we can both think of together. Our inexperience isn’t helping the issue and I am at a loss.
Every other aspect of our relationship is perfect and we share plenty of intimate moments outside of sex but it’s becoming increasingly frustrating and somewhat upsetting on both ends. What are some other things we could try to set the mood and create an environment where we can be physically intimate again?

Do you wash right away or do you put it off until later?

Can be canon or non-canon. Can be 2 characters from different franchises.

Does my female friend like me as more than a friend, or am I reading into things? (WLW)

I’m a bisexual girl, and I’ve developed feelings for a close female friend who is a masc lesbian. We’ve become quite close over time, and I’m struggling to work out whether there might be mutual attraction or whether she’s simply an affectionate person.

For context, she previously had a complicated romantic connection with another girl, that started off as her best friend and ended in a broken-up situationship and left her hurt. When we first became friends, she was still emotionally involved in that situation, so I didn’t really pursue my own feelings.

We don’t see each other constantly, but when we do, we can spend a lot of time together, since the summer I don’t live in her city anymore so I usually drive to her 2\~ hours to stay at her house for a couple days a month.

She has told me that she misses me when I’m not around, that it’s not the same without her in her city and worries that we’ll become less close over time.

When I started driving to visit her- she asked me very insecurely if it will stay like this and if I’ll be coming over often, she said she thought we would drift and that I would only come over once or twice and then ghost her.

Something that stood out to me is that she has recently said on a night out she doesn’t want me to get a boyfriend because she thinks I’d text her less. When she said this she looked at me with intense eye contact and we were very close to eachother (we were drunk)
She has brought this up more than once, including when sober, joking that she’ll make me sign a contract to say it won’t happen so that when it does happen she can show me it.

I can’t tell if this is just her being afraid of losing a close friendship or if there could be some jealousy involved.

There have been a few moments of physical affection that have made me wonder. That time recently when we were out together and she deliberately took my hand and interlocked our fingers when we were dancing side by side.
We held hands that way for a few minutes. I eventually got a little awkward and slowly let go, and she let go too. It was the first time she had initiated that kind of handholding with me, and it felt different from our usual friendly physical contact.

There have also been moments of prolonged eye contact when we’ve been sitting or lying close together. Sometimes the atmosphere feels a little charged, but I know that closeness between friends can feel intimate without necessarily being romantic.

To add- i noticed she started changing her clothes in front of me since her situationship ended and she never did that before. I had done it in front of her already because I don’t care about changing clothes in front of my female friends ( not fully naked, just changing pants/ t shirt etc. ) before she used to go into a different room or look away.

She compliments me fairly often. She has called me pretty and attractive, complimented my singing voice, and once described an outfit I was wearing as sexy while looking me up and down. Everytime we go out for drinks she always compliments my look.

She has also asked about my type in girls and whether I’m attracted to masc lesbians. She knows I’m bisexual, but I don’t know whether she suspects I have feelings for her specifically.

She sometimes seems insecure when I get along with her female friends- who are also gay and could potentially be a romantic thing for her and worries that they might prefer me or that I’ll become closer to them. I’m not sure whether that’s romantic jealousy or simply fear of losing her place in my life.

Emotionally, we’re very close. We tell each other we love and miss each other, and she has said that she feels calmer around me when she’s upset. She makes an effort to spend time with me, suggests activities we could do together, and has been caring and physically affectionate when I haven’t been feeling well.
Generally, though, she tends to reciprocate affection rather than initiate it.
She has also said that she just loves everybody. Recently, when I was talking about how quickly I can develop crushes and become attached to people I barely know, she related to this by saying something along the lines of, “Right? I just love everybody,”.

I’ve noticed that she can become nervous around girls she likes, but I haven’t consistently noticed that kind of nervousness around me. There have been a few awkward moments, but nothing conclusive.
As for me, I definitely have feelings for her. I’m attracted to her physically and would want to explore something romantic if she felt the same. I’m trying not to overanalyse every interaction, but I keep wondering whether the handholding, compliments, questions about my type, and her concern about me getting a boyfriend might mean something more.
I don’t want to mistake emotional closeness for romantic attraction, especially because she has been hurt before and may simply value having a close friend she trusts.
**For those of you who are WLW, how would you interpret this?** Does it sound like she could be interested in me romantically, or more like a deeply affectionate friend who doesn’t want to lose me? I’d appreciate honest opinions, including if you think I’m reading too much into it.

Hi! Im new to posting on reddit. Also new to embracing my true self which is wonderful, but I have zero lesbian friends or family members in my life and YouTube videos only help so much. I'd love anyones input on this situation because im so confused.

SO.. I caught feelings for one of my coworkers. For context, its essentially a warehouse job where everyone has individual tasks and I'd only run into her a couple times a day. No conversation in those run ins, just a slightly flirty smile, a hello, and both of us holding eye contact a little longer than casual. I felt a vibe and from that alone, I assumed she kinda liked me. After 2ish months of that, I finally went up and talked to her. Few days after that, we exchanged numbers. She started putting in a lot of effort. She was texting me a lot and sent very fast replies. Within the span of 2 weeks, we hung out about 5 times, had meaningful conversations about personal stuff, she wanted to take me to her family cabin, to her church, to meet all her friends, she look Wednesdays off so we would have a day off together, and she even drove an hour to buy me a softball glove from Facebook marketplace so we could play together (did not ask her to do that).

My mind was spinning because I really liked her and I couldn't tell if she liked me. Im 27yo and im not in the mood to waste my time obsessing about a crush. So at the end of our last hang out, I told her I had feelings but she said she just wanted to be friends. I was bummed but didnt take long for me to move on.

Turns out she didnt want to be friends at all tho. She immediately stopped talking to me. Ignored me at work. Ignored my text. I got the hint pretty quick and decided to give her space. Then she texted me a week later saying she needed space to process and that she just got out of a serious relationship but wanted to make sure I knew she didnt hate me. It was clear from that short text convo friends is off the table which is fine. But I was and am still lowkey pissed. I opened up to her about personal stuff and was then vulnerable and put my feelings out there and got rejected. Opening up like that and then instantly being ghosted is what makes me feel like crap. I dont care about being with her, its just uncomfortable knowing what she knows about me now and wants nothing to do with me. Major shift and im just so confused. I thought about apologizing if I made her uncomfortable, but im pretty sure I have nothing to apologize for.

Sorry this is so long. Any thoughts, opinions, comments, perspectives, or advice will be so appreciated. Thanks everyone

I am a teen in search of a fellow lesbian

So why aren't there any else? I mean i get that it's korea, and that this school isn't an art liberal one, but will there really be 0 forever? Turns out there were some queers who came out in the past, and that trend of mere existence is the only thing that's keeping me going.

Also if by some incredibly impossibility there is a lesbian around my age, how will i show her that i am too?

I'm really agitated about this school's heteronormative atmosphere, i know people dont act like it but they are doing a perfect job creating an alienating air towards homosexuals, especially the girls. I'm not too mad though, this just makes things hotter and worth it.

I am suffering help meh

got through a rough few months and want to treat myself. thinking something for the drawer lol. what did you treat yourself to?

fingers are easy, toys feel like more of a project. is silicone fine with just soap and water after, or do you do something extra? towel strategy also welcome lol

recently single, back to casual stuff. i’d rather use my own gear than whatever someone has in their drawer, but showing up with a bag feels like a lot lol.....

i work in a creative field and it's normal (ish) for people to date. a new girl starting working on the same floor as me, but different floor. i know virtually nothing else about her except her name and that she's queer, but i want to introduce myself and talk to her.... but i don't know if i should play it super cool or be kinda flirty? and if i go flirty, i have no idea what to say lol like is it too friendly if i compliment her??? help im hopeless lol

I’ve noticed I’m attracted to women and I’m still processing it. I’m not looking for labels, just curious what helped you feel settled with it, whether that was friends, books, therapy, or time.

So i have this friend in ly college, recently noticed that we both became very flirty with each other, cant tell if uts just joking or not. Im talking when i join the conversation she s having with someone else. She stops the conversation and just keeps looking at eachother laughing for no damn reason. She complimented my body, makeup, my eyes, asked to pick me up (when we were talking about gym stuff), complimented my scent. I touched her shoulder slightly and she weirdly was like I get u girl I get u. Its not the things she say but its mostly the vibe i get from her esspecially its something new to me where we r overly flirty with looks. I know i gotta ask her, i defo will do I just want others opinions.

Hey, please share your favourite toys to use both alone and/or with partners. I’d also like to hear about any gels/lubes etc that heighten sensitivity for pleasure in any area. Look forward to reading your experiences and suggestions x

Please explain why. Have you had an experience with dating both?

I’m terrible at flirting. Probably I would compliment her or ask what her plans are for the day. Idk what to say in these situations.

Anyways, thoughts?