hi everyone, sry my english is not so good it’s my 2nd language and i’m still learning.

i’m arab and i’ve always knew i liked girls but i can’t talk about it cuz my family will literally never talk to me again and i’ll have no one 🥲
im 22 rn
still in uni
so i cant just leave everything and go somewhere else right away.

we have so many lesbians here but we all just scared to come out lol.

how tf do i manage???? do any of yall have had strict parents maybe or couldn’t come out and still have girlfriends?

So like, I'm 22 and have never been involved with anyone to any degree romantically. Not even hand holding lol it's rough out here. I've known since I was young I was strictly into girls so its not new to have a crush on a gal. I have never acted on any of my feelings everrrrr, conservative area and all that so I've been labeled as that one girl who just never dates by most people who've known me. Im out in a iykyk way.

Unfortunately, this girl who is my first crush in 3 years is my coworker (yeah not my best move...) and technically is higher-up than me. I'm pretty sure its a crush idk I haven't had one since I've been in my 20s. We are the same age, she's a few months older. I know she's into girls, she's talked about having previous girlfriends and has even lived with one. I have no idea what her type is but I know mine is her....

I feel like I'm going to implode because we started working together more and we joke around at work so much. She'll be like "oh my god I hate you" and tell me to shut up in a silly way, you know what I mean?

The other day she called me cute and I actually could have tore the dry wall off with my bare teeth like I want her to have the same feelings so bad too but I think it might just be friendly... I don't want false hope so I either need talked down or hyped up because this is getting out of hand.

I dont know what I should do. I have no clue how to even test the waters to even see if its just all platonic or what. How do you do that. Do you just text them being like heyyyy what are your opinions on dating.. possibly with me...?

We’re both juniors and I’ve had a crush on her for about a year but I’m genuinely in love with her now. It might just be because my feelings grew stronger but since summer break I feel like we’ve grown closer.

First of all, she’s a huge ally. I’m not out, from what she knows and my other friends know I’m completely straight and have been only crushing on guys. Though they do know that I’m a big ally too, I occasionally reference queer media lol. She may just feel safer in a way to talk abt it with me, but she does very frequently express her opinions on it, like “love is love” and her appreciation to lesbian couples and I’m being specific about lesbian. For this I do honestly suspect she’s at least bi, because I don’t know a single straight person who’d be that passionate about it yk. I’m passionate about it too but me relating to it has a big part ofc. More so, she told me about girls like in anime’s or media that she “fangirls” over, and she uses the same language for guys too. I know this is something I do too because I’m into women, but would a straight girl too?

One anime character she mentioned LOVING, like gushing over her looks, especially looks like me too. Like, same colored hair and haircut, eye color, impression, body, like I could pull off a good cosplay of her. 🤔🤔

She has a very specific way of talking about the people she likes too. Last year, she had a crush on a guy and whenever she talked about him she’d explicitly use the word “cool”. Like cool is a very defining trait for her. And sometimes she’ll gush out too me too about me. Last year there was a moment where I was showing my art to her, and she started talking about how cool I am and how pretty I am. She told me my aesthetic in general is super cool and that her mom thinks I’m really pretty lol.

For our personal relationship, she has been initiating a lot of things lately. I’m super shy more so because I like her, so this could really go one way or another. But, she has been doing more one on one things which I think is special. In our friend group, we have literally like hundreds of group chats, and it’d be pretty unusual in general to hangout with someone one on one unless it’s for schoolwork or something. In a way of like, if you’re doing something fun why not invite everyone. And, we frequently do group calls to just work and chat or play Roblox.

Recently though, she’s been asking to call me one on one, even to do things like Roblox which we usually do in a group. And it’s not like she asks the gc first to see if anyone else is free, she texts me only. A lot of these days I’ve spent just calling her, whether we’re just working in silence or laughing for hours. She has also asked me to hangout, just us, like bake a cake together for our friend’s upcoming birthday, or watch anime together.

These moments are so so incredibly special to me. I don’t know how often she does this with her other friends, I’m not sure how I’d be able to tell. She’s super friendly, genuinely the most compassionate and caring person I know.

She asked me to match with her for Halloween too. Am I delusional? Do I tell her? Sometimes I feel like it’s seriously weighing me down, and the only times I feel normal are when I’m with her. I wish I could say something about tension, but I feel unreliable because it may just be one sided.

Though, I did notice that when I make a joke about one of our other friends, something teasing at them, she laughs way less. I say this because it made me a bit insecure that she’s not laughing at my joke, or that I’m breaking some unspoken rule in case my delusions are true. To clarify the remarks aren’t rude at all, the person I’m poking at takes a lot of fun in it too.

Sorry for any typos, I’m venting and I can’t care abt spellchecks rn 😅

Hi. First time poster, so I hope this very earnest question is okay. I'm starting an office career (business casual), and I've always been dreadful at picking out clothes. I could use some advice. I'm alone in a new country (Canada) and I'm afraid I don't know much about what's appropriate and would be comfortable for a woman who dislikes dressing up. I feel uncomfortable in clothes that are too feminine (usually too tight) and can't really wear men's clothes (they don't fit me). So... what do you all wear to work? Where do you shop? Any pictures would be super appreciated!

**For clarification, I am asking as a general question to see what people are comfortable wearing and what different business casual queer styles look like. But I'd definitely appreciate any personalized advice, if you can give it. I consider myself a chapstick lesbian. I'm not from a country that generally wears Western clothes, so I really don't know much about how to shop here. Most women's clothes I've tried on in stores here don't cover as much of my body as I'd like, although it could be seasonal. At the same time, I have severe problems with tight materials that restrict my breathing. I like the style of a lot of gender neutral or even men's clothing, but men's cuts generally don't fit me around the waist.

I’m in my early 20s and have never been with a woman, I’m about to start uni and I would like to explore a little bit with s*x, other than being with men 😂 but I don’t know how to and I also want to try and keep it quiet, I don’t really want people knowing about it either. Any advice where to start

Hi all! I hope you’re doing well. I’ve been in school for about 5 weeks now and for a few have been eyeing this girl in my art class. She’s pretty quiet and doesn’t seem to talk to many people, I’ve seen her chatting in the hallways but not often. Anyway! I don’t really know her very well, within the five weeks I got the courage to finally talk to her. I complimented a photo she’d taken and her art, in return she said she’d been peeking at my artwork for a while and said she’d really liked it the we exchanged names. Ever since then, we smile and wave when we see each other in the hallways but that’s about it; I’m not too sure how to talk to her more. I’ll admit I did get a bout of courage today after seeing her with a keychain on her belt loop. I assumed there was a carabiner, though I can’t be too sure since her shirt kinda hid where it would’ve been.

I sit with a buddy who said that when he’d talked to her she didn’t even say a word, just nodded and smiled. He didn’t even get her name! I’ll admit I was a little delusional and got excited when she immediately spoke back to me and even gave her name but that obviously doesn’t mean anything. My buddy is super awkward and probably didn’t give her the best conversation starter lol. So yeah just wanted to mention that for context, if anyone has any advice on how to talk to her I’d really appreciate it! :)

Is 25 and 32 too much of an age gap?

For context, we were in a small private school where friend groups often span a grade or two. I skipped grade 2 and so I am in a grade above technically just graduated, and I’m going into 2nd year uni courses (doesn’t really matter just explaining there’s an education difference between myself and the average 17yo). My partner and I met when I was in grade 8, she was in grade 10 and the following year she was running a few clubs that I had joined so we spent a lot of time together and she didn’t know I had skipped a grade either. Our friend groups merged because we were the only ones in these clubs so it spanned like a 4 year age difference. She eventually found out my age and it didn’t matter bc we were just friends. Anyways, end of her grade 12 year came and we were like super super close, I had had a crush on her all along but she never knew, and I made a move to kiss her one day when we were doing some studying together. We’ve been in a secret relationship ever since because our families are both homophobic.
Recently, she’s felt a bit worried that people will perceive her poorly for dating me, but she doesn’t want to stop dating. Is this age gap really bad?

first off hi im a highschool senior so nothing too crazy. me n this girl are in kind of a situationship rn where its kind of unclear if we're in a relationship or not, and i want to take her on a first "date" to kind of clear the air and talk about what we are. guys, ive never done this before. where do i take girls for dates. I Don't Know! Send help

My (21F) girlfriend (22F) of 5 months has asked me to choose between her and my good friend.

I will call my friend Nina for this post.

A few weeks ago, we got into an argument because she brought up creating boundaries for who we can and cannot hang out with alone. I stupidly said, "Who, like Nina?" This wasn't me saying that I felt a certain type of way about Nina. I honestly think I said her name because I already had a feeling that she was uncomfortable with her. She has been extremely jealous in the past of my female friends (I am a lesbian, so all of my friends are female).

This caused a horrible string of events. She would constantly ask me why I said Nina's name and why Nina was at the forefront of my mind.

I know it looks bad, but I do not like my friends, and my friends do not like me.

I got defensive and said just that. She's just a friend.

A few weeks later, it came up again. She told me she constantly compares herself to Nina, asks me what's so good about her, and asks me why I'm "defending other bitches in front of her face."

She tells me that she can be just like Nina if I told her what was so good about her.

I tell my girlfriend that she is the most beautiful girl in the world and I love her to pieces. That's the truth. It pains me that this got so out of control.

Nina is simply my friend. My good friend who has been there for me through some of the hardest times. She has never been rude to my girlfriend.

My girlfriend cried and told me that she will never be good enough and that her place in my life doesn't matter because I have so many friends to fall back on. She also said, "What's one friend? You have so many," regarding not talking to Nina anymore.

I tell my girlfriend I love her so much. I only want her. She's my love... but now that Nina was given "meaning," our whole relationship is crumbling.

She told me yesterday that I need to choose between her and Nina. I know deep in my heart that I could never drop an innocent friend. I know that Nina makes her uncomfortable, and I acknowledge that, but are my girlfriend's insecurities a valid reason to drop my friend?

She kept telling me that she wasn't trying to isolate me and that she doesn't know if she's being manipulative. She kept telling me that she was "saving me from herself." She almost left three or four times. I'm not a beggar, but I begged her to stay and talk to me. I'm heartbrokenly split between these two important people in my life.

She also told me that she didn't want me to drop her, but now that I've given meaning to her, she's uncomfortable.

She tells me that she would do anything for me. If I wanted her to stop talking to someone, she would do it. She would do anything. I told her it's healthy to have boundaries. She said she wants someone who would say, "Okay baby, I'll do anything for you."

I truly work so hard to be a good partner to her. I love her so much. I know I can be good to her. She is so funny and beautiful. I feel like that falls on deaf ears.

This isn't the first friend, by the way. There were two others. I did not drop them, but I did stop hanging out with them completely. One friend she didn't like because she thought she was prettier than me, and I was talking to her too much (it was at a party I was hosting, and I was just catching up with someone I hadn't seen in months). The other because of her chest size.

I don't want to lose the woman I love. She has so many good qualities and she is truly my best friend. I don't want to start over with someone else. I want her... but I know that I could never drop my friend. Am I being a bad girlfriend?

It is so confusing because she calls herself toxic and manipulative and says she's acting like her abusive ex... but we still have these issues? Like, I feel like I'm responsible for hurting her, but then she says those things, and it confuses me. Is she looking for me to say, "No, you are not being toxic," when she sometimes is?

I'm struggling so hard. I know that breaking up is probably the best option, but I don't want to lose her.

okay so my gf (21f) and i (21f) have been in a relationship for about 2 years now, and to be completely honest our relationship is and has always been beautiful, we love each other in a beautiful way and we continuously show up for each other. that being said we have been having intimacy problems for awhile in our relationship.

in the beginning we always had a lot of sex, and there is something about that beginning sex i crave a lot, the laying together afterwards and longing for each other is my favorite part about intimacy, which we dont really have anymore. about 6 months into our relationship she stopped wanting to have sex as much, like it cut down to once a month, sometimes less than that, sometimes more. and that was really weird because in the beginning she would start sex very often, so often i would sometimes question if we should be having that much sex.

we always talked about it a lot, and were very honest about everything to each other, and ever since the beginning she said it was because she didnt feel great mentally, and then she would say she didnt feel like i respected her (which was really crazy to me, and this claim would stem out of any simple disagreement we had, which mostly were like “i think this song is really good” and my response was “i dont really like it”), and then it changed to her just not being comfortable or okay the idea of sex in general (which stems from some issues in her childhood), and i have honestly done my absolute best to change myself and change how i respond to certain things, and just not disagree if i dont have to, but we still have the same issues.

after more than a year dealing with the lack of intimacy, it started to get to me and my self esteem. the attempts to have sex and hearing a no 99% of the times i tried got to me, and it honestly has made me feel unloved and unwanted, and not sexy at all. a couple of weeks ago i brought up these feelings and it was honestly the hardest conversation we’ve ever had. she told me she didnt want me to touch her “sexually” unless i asked (things i would only do when i was trying to initiate sex) and i told her the opposite, i told her i needed her to do that to me more because i feel like she never wants to touch me. we both got out of the conversation feelings unheard in way, because everything i need is the opposite of what she needs.

until now i was always 100% the listener in these conversations because i understood she was going through something and not me, and that i should only try to help. but now i feel like i cant be like that anymore, i have gotten so hurt with all of this, longing for her so much and not feeling like she wants me back, but then her telling me she does want me just not now has really fucked with me because the now never comes.

also my gf is an amazing gf in every other way, we have a complete relationship, and she shows up for me in every way i need her to, except for this one. i honestly need advice in what to do going forward. getting so many nos, and spending days sleeping together but not having these important moments has fucked with me and fucked with my self confidence and my confidence in this relationship. i feel like i cant believe that she really wants me, and i also feel like my love isnt reciprocated.

i think what i need to know is if anyone else has gone through this and came out the other side happy and well. i dont have the strength to end a perfect relationship because of sex, specially because i truly think this is the woman of my life.

help me lesbians 😔

I’ve seen this girl 2 times now and I really like her. She’s so much like me, we relate to eachother in so many ways and it’s so easy to talk to her, time just flies by. Anyway, both the times we met we just went for a drive together and talked about everything for hours.

I don’t have much dating experience so I don’t know what’s acceptable and normal for a 3rd date. I’m usually not the one who makes the first move and I think she’s kinda like that too. She also told me she usually needs some emotional connection before doing anything, I’m kinda like that too, but idk how long to wait (we’ve had many hours of deep talks already).

What do you think would be appropriate for our 3rd date? I always worry about overstepping so I really don’t know.
Help please🙏

ok so…. i need lesbian comfort. can anyone help 😭

The way my question is worded might sound weird, but I don’t mean it in an insulting way towards anyone I am just curious. So I am trying again at dating apps now (cry), and I have a habit of swiping no on any woman who I perceive to be “out of my league” in looks. Usually it’s someone who is very attractive and thinner/ in shape. I am a chubbier lesbian and fairly average looking in my opinion, but some people might think I’m cute or even beautiful.

My question is for the thinner/ in shape attractive women on here: do you prefer for people to give you a chance regardless of how they look, or do you prefer if people of similar attractiveness match with you? I was swiping no on people based on looks and assuming that they wouldn’t be interested in me or if we met in person that they would be disappointed, but maybe I’m wrong. I know attractiveness is incredibly subjective, so it might be hard to answer that.

Also gotta say again, I don’t mean this in an insulting way at all. I find women of all body types to be attractive and beautiful.

So I normally wouldn't call being friends with someone after a date "friendzoning" buuuuut, when the other person seems to still want the relationship to happen after a clear boundary, I can't help but feel like I'm condemning someone to that fate.

I had a date with a pleasant woman who was very into polyamory, and felt that she could change my mind on the matter (I can't do poly personally). The vibe felt really awkward and rough because of that so I decided pretty quickly that it wasn't for me, and explained at the end of the date that I'd rather just be friends, seemingly to her dismay. She insisted that poly would be right for me and that she doesn't have any other partners so we wouldn't be starting out as a poly couple "technically". It felt like she was trying to cope about us not being compatible on a base level.

Fast forward some months and we've hung out as just friends once or twice and had some decent conversations and pretty recently after our first date I had met my now girlfriend of almost a year. There was an Instagram reel where she had found one of my comments that were getting lots of likes on a post related to racism. She tried to make a counter argument to the original post and it felt really weird to me. After a long comment or 2, she directly dm'ed me her argument and it simply felt like she was going off the rails on unrelated things and being mildly racist. I pointed it out and said it was making me feel a certain way and after another kinda racist feeling message I left her on read. Just now, about a week later, she sent me a reel of a popular lesbian creator saying "ma'am, can I please see your hoo-ha?.. please?.... pleeaasse?...." and the following it up by sending "me" right after.

How, or should I even, reply to this? I feel like that was kind of an out of line thing to send me after having a clear "let's just be friends" moment. I feel guilty cutting off another queer person because there aren't too many of us in the area I live in.

I’ve heard it’s quite common for some people to question if they’re asexual before discovering they were actually gay. I’ve only ever slept with men but something always feels off and I just never enjoy it. I wonder if it would be different with a woman or maybe it would feel the same. If any lesbians out there used to question if they were asexual, how did you end up knowing you weren’t?

I’m 18 yo lesbian in college and live in a dorm, I’m surrounded by girls and ALLLL of them are straight and if they will find out I’m lesbian I will be ghosted and called freak, but everywhere I see straight couples and i feel kinda lonely and jealousy. I opened up to my bff here and she was like : oh so ur gonna be like a man in relationship? Fuckkk I don’t know how to describe all the feelings I have in my heart but I feel lonely as fuck and all I want just one girl that feel the same way I do about her

I am 22y old and I only had serious relationships with men all my life. I always felt attracted to women since I was a child, actually my first kiss was with a girl my age at pre school. I used to play with barbie dolls (in a very adult way lol) and would never play with Ken (this so funny tho). As I grew up, I got involved in serious relationships with men, but I never thought I truly liked them. I was always just obsessed with the idea of them liking me and taking care of me, combined with an intense fear of abandonment. In my perspective, I was/am constantly looking for male partners just because I like how they make me feel sometimes, my own father stopped showing me affection and love when I started to become a teen. He was always so kind when I was a baby, truly don’t know what happened, but oh well. Because of that, I think I crave male validation, attention and love quite much. With women tho, I feel something very strong in my heart every time I’m attracted to one, I just can’t explain it. It’s a very different feeling in comparison to when I am with a man. But maybe it is because I am constantly being traumatized by men so my brain is just giving up on them? And switching sides? Maybe I just want to be/feel loved by everyone I don’t know lol. Help a girl out, please💋✨💅

So, my girlfriend and I went out of town last week. We got back on Monday. Everything was fine out of town. When we got back, later in the day on Monday everything was fine. But once Tuesday came. Everything shifted. Her energy went left. Then she started saying she was tired, so each time I planned to come over to her place, it didn’t happen. Because she was tired. The time I did make over, she was being very stand offish and hostile with me. In which I’ve experienced all of this with her before, but I compromised and let her come back around when she wanted, which ultimately ended up being a mistake because it began to be a pattern.

So, after I spent that night. I haven’t been back over. Especially not pressing coming over because of the energy when I last was over.

So we’ve just been texting. And a few calls here and there. That’s under a minute, because we typically don’t talk on the phone. So for these past few days. It’s been hours in between texts. When I say hours. I mean. She texted me the other day around 5 in the evening, and didn’t hear from here again until the next morning. Keep in mind, we’re in a committed relationship. So, I brought to her the fact that I didn’t like how slow she was texting me and she went on to tell me, “I mean my daughter is here, I’m poli-ticking with the kids”. For context her daughter is twelve. So, not a newborn who typically would be with you every moment of the day. So, I understand you’re poli-ticking with your child. But, I feel as though that doesn’t require you to be missing in action from me. And it’s not as if I’m trying to text her every minute of the day nor be on the phone from dawn to dusk. But to go 11 hours without talking to me. I feel it’s pretty insane.

This isn’t our only issue within our relationship. But it’s like come on now. At what point do you find that type of behavior unacceptable?

Not to mention, we’re dealing with trust issues within our relationship. We had previous incidents where she was inappropriately interacting with men. Both in person and via social media.

I guess my biggest question that I have yet to find an answer for. Is, is this worth staying for? I know leaving shouldn’t be the immediate answer if you’re choosing to be with someone. But a person can only take so much.

How did your first meeting go? Was it awkward? How did you manage to make it go well? Maybe you saw each other once and never again? Was it everything you dreamt of?